Going Back
by Athena Alexandria
Summary: Kate wants to help Jack, but can they ever really go back? Takes place after the flashforwards in Through the Looking Glass.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, since I'm finished, I'm gonna put up Chapter 1, that way you can all make an informed decision. The mythology aspects are based on a theory I have that will mostly likely be proved wrong in the first episode, but is still (I hope) interesting... ;)

* * *

Chapter 1. J.J. 

"_We have to go back. We have to go back!"_

Driving home from the airport after meeting Jack, all Kate could think about was how broken he looked; how desperate; as he stood there under the headlights of her car, begging her to help him achieve something that she wasn't even was possible anymore.

Once, she would have stayed and fought with him, but she'd changed since the rescue, enough to recognise that there _was_ no going back: to the island, to the way things were, to him…

All they could do now was keep moving forward. Moving on. Their saviours had seen to that.

To her dismay, the porch lights were on when she pulled into the drive, and she realised that she'd forgotten the milk she'd intended to bring back as an excuse. She considered slipping off again to go to the store, but it was too late; as she reached for the gearstick to put the car into reverse, she saw the curtains flutter, and she knew that he'd been watching her.

And that he knew where she'd been.

Bracing herself for an argument, she switched off the engine and got out, hitting the button on her keys to lock all the doors, and letting herself into the house.

Sure enough, there he was, waiting for her in the front hall, his arms crossed as he leant against the entrance to the living room, eyeing her with disapproval. It made her feel like she was sixteen again, sneaking off in the middle of the night to go hang out in the park.

Except that she was grown woman now; almost thirty years old; too old to be intimidated by him. He might still be her father, but she no longer needed his permission to do anything, especially go out.

"What?" she asked him, feigning nonchalance as she tried to push past him, but he wouldn't budge.

"It's one o'clock in the morning – where have you been?" he asked, straightening up, his arms still folded, once he'd made his point.

"To the store. I had to get some formula for J.J. before he woke up," she lied, just like she'd planned, sighing when he stepped aside, and she stalked into the kitchen to find her six-month-old son strapped into his highchair, finishing a bottle.

Clearly he knew that it could have waited until morning.

"That's funny, because I just fed him and there was a whole other can," he said, his eyes narrowing, his expression tightening with anger as he added, "You're going to see him again, aren't you? After everything you went through last time? Katie, we talked about this – I thought we agreed."

She knew that there was no point in keep up the pretence of an important errand when they were both aware that what he was saying was the truth; she wasn't even sure that she'd done anything to apologise for, so she said, "_Kate_, Dad, and he has a name," as she took the empty bottle from her son's hand and rinsed it out in the sink. "And you agreed. I just did what I was told."

She was still waiting for him to acknowledge the fact that he'd manipulated her during one of the most vulnerable periods of her life, convincing her that cutting all ties with Jack was for the best, but he ignored this remark.

"I _know_ what his name is," he said with a pointed glance at J.J. "I also know that he's an addict, and therefore, unstable, which is why I asked you to stay away from him. Both of you."

"He's also the father of my child – you think I should just let him kill himself?" she demanded as she undid the clasps, and lifted her son out, wrapping one arm around his torso, the other around his backside, jiggling him when he began to fuss at the sound of raised voices. "He's a mess, Dad. I almost didn't recognise him."

"And who's fault is that, Katherine? Any of that?" her father snapped, losing the tentative grip he had on his temper, and she had to resist the urge to storm out of the house, and go to a motel. She'd moved back in with him for his support, not his persecution.

"You may have grown up since the last time I saw you – you may be a mother – but your judgement hasn't improved. I love that little boy more than life itself, and I wouldn't wish him away for the world – you know that – but if you'd just kept your distance from him like you were supposed to, like they asked you to…"

_Them_. Like she was going to do anything they said if she could avoid it. If it weren't for her son, then she wouldn't have gone along with what they wanted for as long as she had.

"Then what? I wouldn't have gotten myself knocked up? So I'm a screw up now – _still_ – and my son is a mistake?" she retorted, louder than she'd intended, causing J.J. to burst into startled tears. "Thanks, Dad. It's nice to know what you think of your family."

"That's not what I meant, Katie," he said, backtracking, softening, as it seemed to occur to him how insensitive he'd come over. "All I'm saying is that that man isn't fit to be a father, which is why your son needs at least one parent he can count on. You should've been here for him when he woke up, not me. You were the one who decided to do this."

He wanted her to tell him that he was right, that she was sorry, that she understood and would try to do better next time, but she wasn't in the mood to comfort him with false promises, not when she was in need of comforting herself.

That look still haunted her when she closed her eyes, rubbing them to relieve her exhaustion; she couldn't guarantee that the next time Jack called, she would ignore it, because after what she'd witnessed that night, she couldn't help feeling that she'd ignored him for too long. Someone had to do something, and she was the only one left.

"Goodnight, Dad," she said, her voice sharp and uncompromising as she ended the conversation, leaving him to stew for the rest of the night, still bouncing her son, pressing soft kisses to his fine, dark curls, and whispering to him as she carried him up the stairs to their room.

"It's okay, baby," she told him as she set him onto his back in his crib, tucking his blanket up around him, but as she kissed him again, on the forehead this time, watching his deep brown eyes flutter closed, she couldn't help wondering who she was trying to convince of this: him, or herself.

* * *

Who can guess what J.J. stands for? ;) Kate seemed so calm and collected in the flashforwards, that I thought it would be cool if someone else (a.k.a. Sam) was pulling the strings. Sam as the overbearing, overprotecting father (who disapproves of Jack) is a very different dynamtic to what I normally write... 

Next chapter: Kate can't get her mind off a certain depressed, bearded spinal surgeon, and decides to pay him another visit... ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews. Since the general consensus seems to be that most of you like this one better, but still want resolution to Hide and Seek, I'm going to keep working on both, though the updates on this one might be a bit faster. I have to get it finished before season four starts and it all gets debunked!

Oh, and yes. Those of you who said Jack Junior would be correct...;)

* * *

Chapter 2. One Night

The crib was empty when Kate woke up; terrified that someone had seen her and Jack together and snatched their son as punishment, her heart almost stopped, but she relaxed when she found him sitting at the table with Sam as her father fed him stewed apples from a jar.

A moment later, her relief was replaced with indignation as it struck her that something was wrong with this picture. "You know, I am capable of getting my own child up in the morning," she told him, slamming a mug onto the counter as she made herself a cup of coffee, still annoyed at him for interfering in her life the night before. "And giving him breakfast."

"I just thought you could do with the extra sleep, since you were off gallivanting around the city until all hours," he replied, never changing his tone from one of pleasant conversation as he urged his grandson to open his mouth.

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?" she asked him with a sigh, leaning back against the sink, nursing her cup, as she watched him do what was supposed to be her job. She felt helpless, like she had no control anymore, over herself, or her child. She wasn't even allowed to take care of him.

"Not until you tell me you only went to say goodbye," he agreed, his eyes still on J.J., and she wondered if he felt the slightest trace of guilt for keeping her son from his father, or Jack from his family. If he did, he kept it well hidden.

"You're not in the army anymore, Dad – you can't give orders and expect me to follow them," she told him, dumping the contents of her mug into the sink, and heading for the stairs.

"Where're you going?" he asked, thrown by her sudden departure, and she felt a stab of satisfaction as his confidence wavered. It was good to know that he didn't have all the answers, like he seemed to think he did.

"To get dressed," she called back, grateful that there was at least one part of her life that was out of his jurisdiction. "I'm already late for class."

* * *

She'd meant to use it as an escape, from her father; _her life_; but as she sat in the lecture hall, doodling in the margins of her notebook, trying not to think about Jack, she found herself missing J.J., like she always did when the longing became too much and she needed something more than memories to cling to, something solid and real: his soft, floppy body, his pudgy hands, his gummy smile and warm brown eyes, eyes that she could remember getting lost in, back when everything made sense. 

He was her last link to the man she loved; the one piece of him that they hadn't succeeded in taking from her, though she still lived in fear that they would, especially now that she'd betrayed their agreement by going to see him.

For those reasons, along with residual fear from the island, she could never bring herself to leave him for long, and then, not by choice; there was a crèche on campus where she could keep checking in on him, but she could never convince her father to let her take him there now that he was retired, and had nothing better to do than dote on his only grandchild.

After an hour of sitting in the front row, staring at the projections on the wall without absorbing a single word, she decided to ask someone for a copy of their notes, slipping out the side door, and driving home.

J.J. was sitting on his play mat, sucking on a bath toy when she found them in the living room, dropping it, and squealing with delight when he saw her; scooping him up into her arms, she fussed over him, peppering his little face with kisses, drawing a surprised look from Sam, who was watching a documentary on TV.

"I hate being away from him," she offered by way of explanation, still cuddling her son, in no hurry to put him back down, but what she didn't tell him was that he wasn't the only him she'd missed.

* * *

She spent the rest of the day feeding J.J., bathing him, lying on the floor playing with him, ignoring her father's input, but as much as she loved him, he could never fill the empty space in her heart, the one Jack had left. 

She needed to see him, to know that he wasn't as far gone as he looked, that the old Jack; the one she'd fallen in love with; was still in there somewhere, so, after tucking J.J. into his crib, she waited for Sam to go to bed, then crept out to her car, praying that her son wouldn't wake up again and alert him to her absence.

She hated fighting with him, but she couldn't seem to make him understand how impossible it was for her to let go, when none of it had been her choice.

Even though she'd never been there, she knew that Jack had an apartment downtown; pulling into the visitor's space next to his beat up old truck, she took the stairs two at a time, part of her hoping that he wouldn't be home.

She was about to turn away, relief and disappointment battling inside her, when he answered the door, his pale blue shirt open over a pair of faded suit pants and a greying wife beater.

"Hi," she said, the rush on conflicting emotions intensifying at the sight of him: disgust and guilt, pity and shame, sorrow and fear, and love. She wanted to throw herself at him, to remember what it was like to touch him, but instead, she wrapped her arms around herself, unsure of what else to do with them.

"Hi," he repeated, looking stunned to see her standing on his doorstep.

He glanced over her shoulder, checking the hall, before pulling her inside, closing the door behind her.

It had been so long since she'd had any physical contact with him; she never wanted him to let go of her arm, and she could see that he didn't either, but he released it to run a hand over his eyes, and she wondered if he'd woken him up, or if he was just drunk, or high, or a little of both.

"This place is disgusting," she told him, for something to break the tension, as she took in the stack of dishes in the sink, the maps and atlases on the floor, the pizza boxes and take out cartons. It wasn't so much a bachelor pad as a dump; trying to imagine how someone could live in such squalor, she was struck by the urge to clean it for him.

"I didn't know I was gonna have company," he said, kicking aside a stack of papers to give them room to stand, but it came out as more of an accusation than the quip she was pretty sure he'd intended.

Another uncomfortable silence fell over them, until he broke it, by saying, with a strange mixture of irritation and tenderness that reminded her of the night she'd tried to rescue him from the Others, "You shouldn't be here."

"I know," she agreed, still staring at him; while she knew that she should leave, she couldn't seem to get her legs to co-operate.

"So why are you?"

It was a good question; one with so many answers that she didn't know which one to start with. "Because I couldn't leave things like that," she told him, deciding to go to for the simplest. Bringing up their son would only hurt him, and complicate things.

"You did before," he reminded her, the sorrow in his eyes reminding her so much of J.J. when she left him that she bit her lip, fighting back tears.

She wasn't going to cry. Not over him. Not anymore. She'd cried long enough. "I know, and I'm sorry – you have no idea how much wish it didn't have to be like this," she told him, realising that he never could, not without knowing what she'd been through, her words sparking something inside of him.

"So why does it?" he asked, taking a step towards her, his breath hot and inviting as he backed her into the wall, and even though it reeked of whatever he'd been drinking before she arrived, she wanted to press herself to him and crush his lips with her own.

"You _know_ why. You remember what they said," she insisted, trying to put a safer distance between them, like she had at the airport, but he closed the gap, his hands on either side of her, trapping her.

"No talking about what happened, no contact with anyone who was there… what they didn't tell us is what would happen if we decided we didn't wanna play their little game," he said, and even though his voice and posture were forceful, his eyes were pleading, begging her not to leave him again.

"That's exactly why we have to listen to them," she argued, the agitation she'd felt since leaving the airport convincing her that maybe her father was right, that it was the right thing to do. She couldn't take that risk with their son. She'd been so afraid of someone finding out the first time that the closest she'd come to acknowledging Jack on the birth certificate was giving him his name, and even that had been careless. She just hoped it looked like she was having trouble moving on. "They could come after us – they could come after our families."

"So let them come," he murmured, softening his tone, bowing his forehead against hers, and for a moment, she felt like they'd stepped back into the past. Underneath it all, he was still the same. Still Jack. "Just don't go. Please, Kate. One night."

Her rational mind screamed that she should follow her instincts, for their son, but it wasn't her mind that was in control; before she could stop to think about what she was doing, she was letting him press her back into the plaster, returning his kiss with all of the frustration and the longing that had built up inside her during the year they'd been apart.

"We can't do this," she whispered when he broke from her to discard his shirt, but she knew she didn't mean it, and so did he. She wanted this; it was just a token effort to convince him to take the choice out of her hands.

He did, but not in the way she was hoping. "Yes, we can," he assured her as he lifted her t-shirt up over her head, casting it to the floor beside his.

"We shouldn't," she agreed, right before he brought his lips back to hers, but she offered no more resistance than this, wrapping herself around him, helping him to pick her up off the ground.

The bedroom was the cleanest room of the apartment, she noticed with a sense of relief, as he shoved a pile of the ubiquitous maps to the floor, and set her down on his bed, his beard coarse and scratchy as he nuzzled the sensitive skin of her throat.

She knew it was a bad idea, that her father would have a coronary if he knew where she was, and what she was doing, but it felt so right, so _real_, so much like before, that she couldn't find it in herself at that moment to care.

* * *

Next chapter: Jack and Kate talk about what happened, and what they should do about it... and a certain gross beard meets its maker... ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews. Just to clear something up: the mysterious _them _everyone keeps talking is not the Others. They're the people I think might be coming to "rescue" them. I have this whole complex theory... ;)

* * *

Chapter 3. A Double Life

It was still dark when Kate woke, the display on Jack's alarm clock reading 4:42 a.m.; ever the army man, most days, her father got up around six.

Jack was still asleep beside her, his features relaxed into an expression of peace; trying not to disturb him, she kissed his smooth, unfurrowed brow and shifted his arms from around her waist, sliding out of bed.

She was scouring the room for her shirt, considering borrowing one of his if she could find one that was clean, when she heard his soft, sleep-slurred voice say, more in defeat than as a question, "You're leaving."

"I have to," she agreed, pulling on her jeans, and closing the zipper, not looking at him when he sat up, watching her.

She could tell that he was hurt that she wasn't going to stay until morning, so rather than let him think that she was somehow ashamed, she explained, "My dad hasn't exactly been easy to live with since the rescue. I can't leave the house without him giving me the third degree."

Apparently relieved that he hadn't screwed things up between them by encouraging her to spend the night, he relaxed, settling back against the headboard. "So move out."

It was the kind of mundane conversation Kate had taken for grated before the strain of keeping their relationship quiet, of never being able to move forward with it, became too much; she couldn't help smiling at how familiar it all was as she answered, "I can't. With school, I was barely scraping by before…" before J.J., she thought, sobering as she trailed off. He was the reason for her complete dependence on her father: she couldn't get a job to put herself through college without having to fork out most of her wage to keep him in day care, and she couldn't ask Jack to pay maintenance for a child he wasn't even allowed to see.

"So move in here with me," he suggested with a humourless smile, his tone rueful, both of them knowing what her answer would be. He gestured to a tower of books, and nautical charts, blocking the path to the door. "This place could do with a woman's touch."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed to replace her shoes, she gave him a look, wishing with all of her heart that she could; that she could make them a family, and give her son a father. _His_ father, not some man she picked up to fill the void. "You know it's not that simple."

"It could be," he insisted, with a faint trace of what sounded like hope. Hope, and denial.

"No, it can't," she told him, forcing herself to stand up, but he caught her wrist before she could walk out of the bedroom, turning her back around to face him.

"Hey. Can I see you again?" he asked, his hands moving to her hips, holding her in front of him, refusing to let her go until she gave him some sign that what had happened between them wasn't without meaning.

She wanted to say no, but the look he gave her reminded her of a drowning man searching for a life raft, and she was afraid that if she did, it really would be the end. All it would take was a couple of more pills than usual, and it could be his obituary she was reading.

"Okay," she agreed, realising that if they were going to keep doing this, they had to be smarter about it this time. "But not here."

His breath hitched, and she thought she saw some of the light return to his eyes. "Where?"

It only took her a moment to come up with the answer. "There's a motel across the street from the airport. Get a room, and I'll meet you there tonight."  
He let out another sardonic laugh as he dropped his hands, releasing her. "You make it sound like we're having an affair, Kate."

Her smile was sad as she brushed his cheek with her lips, and moved towards the door. "As far as the rest of the world is concerned, we are."

* * *

The sun was almost on the horizon by the time she parked her car, and slipped back into the house, creeping up the stairs to her room. 

J.J. was just stirring as she closed the door, rolling over to watch her through the bars of his crib; changing into her pyjamas to make it look like she'd slept there, she lifted him out, and carried him downstairs for breakfast.

Ten minutes, and half a jar of bananas, later, she heard her father's alarm go off upstairs, and he joined them in the kitchen, pouring himself a bowl of cereal before settling into his usual seat.

"Sleep well?" he asked her as he took in her tousled hair and weary expression, and she just smiled, relieved that, as far as she could tell, he remained ignorant as to the true cause of both.

* * *

She was so exhausted by her newfound double life that she almost fell asleep in one of her afternoon classes; something she hadn't done since junior high; the thought of seeing Jack again keeping her going, giving her the strength she needed to go home and put up a pretence for her father. 

She tried to speed things along by putting J.J. down earlier, and with less fuss, than she would have on a normal night, but Sam got caught up watching a DVD, and it was almost eleven by the time he left her to go to bed.

Praying that Jack hadn't given up on her, and gone to the nearest bar to drown his sorrows instead, she broke the speed limit in her haste to get to him, letting out the breath she was holding when she turned into the car park, and spotted his truck. If she was going to keep meeting him, she was going to have to come up with an adequate cover, so that she didn't have to worry about sneaking around.

He must have been watching out for her, because he opened the door before she'd even had time to knock, looking more lucid than he had the last time she'd seen him.

"You're sober," she said, stunned, when she realised what it was about him that was different, and, as he stepped aside to let her into the room, he gave her a wry smile.

"Only because tonight, I have something worth staying sober for."

Touched by how hard he was trying to be the man she remembered, she reached out to stroke the side of his face with her thumb. "That's sweet."

"That's true," he amended, looping his arms around her, pulling her in, but she turned her head a few seconds before their lips collided, so that his grazed her cheek.

"No."

"No?" he repeated with a frown, confused by her sudden evasiveness. "You wanna slow things down? Because we can do that."

"No," she assured him with a coy grin, so that he knew that it wasn't that she didn't want to kiss him. She did. Very much. She just couldn't, not now that her faculties had returned and she was thinking straight. "I just want you to lose the beard."

When he gave her a wary look, she complained, pleading her case, "It makes you look like a homeless man, Jack. _And_ it itches. I've still got scratch marks on my neck."

She could see that he was trying hard not to look offended at being compared to a homeless man, and she had to purse her lips to keep from laughing.

"As much as I'd love to help you out, I don't have a razor," he pointed out just like she'd anticipated, the furrow in his brow deepening when she produced one, along with a can of shaving cream and a pair of scissors, from the oversized purse she used as a diaper bag. "You're serious?"

"I am," she agreed, dropping her purse on the bed, and pushing him into a chair, straddling his lap. "I'll even do it for you," she told him, keeping her voice low and suggestive as she snapped the lid off the can, and squirted some of the cream into her palm, bringing it up to caress his cheek. "All you have to do is sit still."

He couldn't argue with that, so he put his hands on her waist to support her, watching with a faint smile as she leant in close, cupping the side of his jaw, concentrating on ridding him of the offending hair with each careful stroke.

"There," she said with a grin, wiping him down with a towel when it was all gone, and she could see him again. "I knew there was a good looking man lurking under there somewhere."

She'd only meant it as a kind of gentle teasing, but instead of laughing at her words, he surprised her by ignoring them, tightening his hold so that their faces were almost touching.

"I've missed you," he said, the regret in his voice, and in his eyes, making her heart ache as she was forced to remember how fleeting these moments of happiness were. But still, they were all they had.

It wasn't the first time she'd wished that she'd told him how she felt back on the island, when they could have been together, instead of wasting all that precious time.

"I've missed you too," she confessed, dropping the towel, and wrapping her arms around his neck. "You know, you can kiss me now."

And he did.

* * *

I got a certain amount of glee out writing this chapter, and I'm sure most of you will out of reading it. Good riddance, I say! ;) 

Next chapter: They continue to meet in secret, but will Sam find out? And Jack reminds Kate of a certain funeral (I have a whole complex theory about that as well. Two, in fact, for the two characters I think are most likely to be in that coffin. One fits better for the purpose of this fic.)... ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews. I was pretty excited about coming up with the shaving idea (cliche, I know, but fluffy Jate _and _the removal of the beard!), so I'm glad you all liked it. ;)

* * *

Chapter 4. Risks

If Kate thought leaving Jack was difficult the first time, it was that much harder the following morning, now that he was almost back to his old self, not the least of all because he didn't seem to want to let her go.

"Just five more minutes," he complained, pulling her back down under the covers each time she tried to leave, and she smiled, and settled into his embrace, until she woke with a start at five-thirty, cursing herself for cutting it so close. She had less than thirty minutes, and the drive would take her at least twenty, even without running into traffic.

"Same time tonight?" he checked, his voice hopeful, when she succeeded in freeing herself from him, and, as she threw her clothes on and kissed him goodbye, it struck her how pathetic they'd become, arranging their lives around the handful of hours they could shut themselves inside a cheap motel room, and pretend that everything was right with the world.

* * *

As she climbed the stairs to her room, her ears were greeted with the classical strains of her father's alarm; her door had just clicked shut when his opened, and she heard his footsteps on the landing. 

Breathing a sigh of relief at avoiding another argument, she peeked into the crib to make sure that J.J. was still asleep, disentangling his little legs from his blanket and tucking it around him, before falling back into bed fully-clothed.

* * *

After letting her father take him through his morning routine again, she felt guilty for neglecting him, doing exactly what she'd sworn she'd never to do by putting her relationship with his father ahead of him, so after school, she dressed him in pair of overalls and a red t-shirt, and took him to the park, letting him crawl around in the sandbox until it got dark. 

He was too young to understand how shameful her behaviour was; this guilt paled in comparison to the guilt she felt at lying to her father, sneaking around behind his back when he'd made his feelings clear.

He was sitting at the table, reading the paper, when she found him in the kitchen, but he looked up, holding his arms out for his grandson.

"Look at you. You've got sand all over you. I bet you had fun, didn't you, little guy?" he said with a laugh when she handed him over, and J.J. gave him a broad, toothless smile, babbling something incoherent as he grabbed at his reading glasses.

"What about you?" he asked, distracting him with one of the little plastic toys that littered the house, waiting until he was occupied to focus his full attention on Kate. "When're you gonna start having some fun? It's not healthy, a beautiful young woman spending all her time cooped up with a baby and an old man."

She could tell that he was trying to get her mind off Jack, hoping that by expanding her social circle, she'd meet someone else and get on with her life, but she couldn't help feeling a pang of remorse. All he wanted was to see her happy, happy and settled, with a family of her own. She just wished that she could make him see that she couldn't be either of these things without Jack. He was the one man she couldn't have, and yet, he was the only one she wanted.

Realising that this was as good an opportunity as any she was ever going to get to slip off with his blessing, she said, thinking fast, "I wanted to talk to you about that. Do you think you could watch him tonight? One of the girls from my class just got engaged, and she's having drinks to celebrate."

She figured that if she was smart, she could stretch this out for a while: she could invent a fake date for the following night, with a friend of a friend. Her father would be so relieved to see her moving on that he wouldn't question it. Not for a few weeks at least, but she'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

He raised an eyebrow at her, surprised to hear she had plans, but he nodded, his face breaking into a grin. "Of course. You just go enjoy yourself, honey. Leave the worrying to me."

* * *

She showered and dressed in a pair of fitted jeans, and a dark top, as though she really was going to a party, heading back down to the kitchen to say goodbye.

J.J. was in his highchair while her father prepared dinner for each of them; when she leant down to kiss his cheek, it felt warmer than usual, but, attributing it to the steam in the kitchen, she didn't think any more of it as she drove across town.

To avoid making it easy for them, they'd agreed to meet at a different motel to the one they'd used the night before, this one off the interstate, where they were unlikely to be seen by anyone who knew them.

Jack was already there. "I wasn't expecting you until at least midnight," he confessed when he opened the door for her, and she launched herself at him, eager to get down to business.

"Do you want me to come back?" she teased him, wrapping her legs around his waist, playing with the buttons on his shirt, and he responded by kissing her as he kicked it shut behind them.

"I never want you to leave," he whispered against her ear when they broke for air, the tone of his voice, intense and possessive, sending a shiver of anticipation through her.

"I never wanna leave either," she told him, opening his shirt, and dropping kisses down the smooth skin of his neck, determined to take the father's advice for once

* * *

She wanted to keep things light between them, to forget about everything else except being with him, but as she lay on his chest later that night, trying not to fall asleep, he said, clearing his throat, "Have you thought any more about the funeral.

He sounded nervous, aware of how sensitive the subject was with her. It took her a moment to figure out what he was talking about, and then her heart sunk. It wasn't something she wanted to consider, much less discuss.

"I'm still not going, if that's what you mean," she agreed, bristling. She needed to hate him; they all did. She couldn't stop, or else she'd be forced to admit that what he'd done, or tried to do, he was right.

"I have to. Please, Kate – I need you there," he argued softly, and she sighed as the despair in his tone melted her resistance. He wanted closure: to make amends and be forgiven. She got that. As much as she wanted to tell him that she didn't, she did.

"When is it?" she asked, and he relaxed, relieved that she wasn't going to put up more of a fight.

"Tomorrow. Noon."

She was supposed to be in class then, but she decided that she could leave early again for something so important to him. At the very least, it was another excuse to see him, even if she couldn't acknowledge him while they were watching. And she was pretty sure that they would be.

"I'll come," she agreed, apprehensive at the thought, even if it was plausible that both of them would show up of their own accord. They were taking too many risks, but he was right, he needed to do this. Maybe then he could really work on getting clean. "But we take separate cars, and we stagger it so that we don't arrive or leave at the same time."

"Thank you," he said, his voice low and husky as he lifted his head to kiss her, and she found herself returning his disbelieving grin at how dramatic this all sounded. She'd thought the days of her looking over her shoulder had ended when they left the island, and she was acquitted of her crimes, but now, she realised that they were only just beginning.

* * *

Next chapter: More Sam, the funeral, and Kate shows Jack a picture.. ;) 


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews. Hopefully this chapter will answer some of your questions: about whether or not Jack knows about J.J., and the identity of the man in the coffin (He's not referred to by name, but if you read between the lines, you'll see who I mean! Extra points for guessing the mystery mourner!) ;)

* * *

Chapter 5. Regret

Kate's mind was still on Jack and the funeral when she re-entered the house in the early hours of the morning; it wasn't until her foot hit the first step that she realised all the lights were on downstairs, the TV playing low in the background.

"That must've been some engagement party," she heard her father say, and she turned to see him sitting on the couch, J.J. sprawled on his back on a blanket beside him.

"I guess more people showed up than she expected," she told him, trying not to look like a deer caught under the headlights, but she knew he wasn't fooled.

"You can cut the crap, Katherine," he half-growled, his voice low and terse as he did his best to avoid waking her son. "I know you lied to me."

She considered denying it, but, instead, found herself asking, "How?" biting her lip as she stared down at the carpet. He would never trust her again after tonight, not after everything she'd put him through.

"I don't know if you noticed, but your boy was running a fever when you left," he said, and a sick feeling crept over her as she remembered how warm J.J. had felt when she kissed him goodnight. She was his mother; she should have paid more attention, instead of being in such as rush to get back to Jack.

"Is he okay?" she asked, dropping her purse, and moving over to check on him, but her father held out a hand to stop her.

"He's _fine_, Katherine," he agreed, and she let out the breath she was holding. "I gave him some Tylenol, and it brought it right down. I just got him back to sleep."

He was silent for a moment, letting her digest this, before adding, "But that's not the point. Your cell was switched off, so I called the contact number you gave me. Your friend said she hadn't seen you all night. What if it had been something serious?"

"I don't know," she agreed, tears burning her eyes as she glanced down at her son, his pale cheeks flushed pink, his dark curls matted with sweat. If he was sick, she should have been the one to take care of him. He should have been with his parents – both of them.

"At least tell me you learnt your lesson last time," her father said, and she could hear the defeat in his tone, making him sound like the old man that he was. "I don't think I need to remind you that you can't afford to get pregnant again."

She could have lied and told him that nothing had happened, that all they'd done was talk, but she knew he wasn't that naïve, so she gave him a slight, miserable nod to ease his fears, and he sighed.

"This has to stop, Katie," he said with a sad smile, his tone softening as he reached for her hand. "You have to stop living in the past."

She wanted to agree, but as the first tear slid down her cheek, all she managed was to whisper, "I can't."

* * *

She spent the morning watching over J.J., making sure that his fever didn't return, but she couldn't back out on her promise to Jack, so when noon rolled around, she told her father the truth, and drove over to the cemetery as planned.

Jack arrived a few minutes after she did, his expression pensive as he stood at the opposite end of the grave.

They were the only ones there; the celebrant waited for half an hour before beginning, but the only other person who showed up was a woman Kate had never seen before, once attractive, through the lines on her face made her look like she'd lived longer than her forty plus years. She cried all the way through the service, and Kate couldn't help wondering who she was, and if she'd loved him. She might have been the only one who had.

It made her wish that they'd been a little nicer to him, that they'd allowed him to feel like he was part of the group. Maybe then he wouldn't have betrayed them by joining the other side.

"I should have listened to him," Jack whispered as he leant past her to sprinkle soil on the coffin, his voice full of deep sorrow and regret. "He was right – I should never've made that call."

* * *

When she called her father to check in a while later, he assured her that J.J. had bounced back from whatever bug he had, so she decided to go to her afternoon class after all. She needed something to take her mind off how defeated Jack had looked at the funeral, beating himself up over a decision the whole camp had made, but she was still several blocks from campus when the message tone chimed on her cell.

Thinking that her father had forgotten something, she flipped it open at the next red light, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up when she saw three short words underneath Jack's name:

I NEED YOU.

She wasn't sure why, but they filled her with dread; throwing caution to the wind, she made what she was pretty sure was an illegal U-turn, heading over to his apartment instead.

She found him on the floor, slumped against the wall with a bottle of vodka and the same glazed look he'd had that night at the airport; taking it out of his hand, she set it aside, sitting down beside him.

"I'm sorry," he said, and she thought that he was talking about the fact that he'd broken his vow, until he added, "I ruined your life. I ruined all our lives."

"In case you haven't noticed, you _are_ my life," she told him with a smile, picking his limp hand up and squeezing it, and he gave her a disgruntled look.

She had no idea whether it was the right moment, or she could have found a better one, but she wanted him to see that good things had come from knowing him, _from him_, so she reached for her purse.

"Jack, there's something you should know," she began, and he cast his eyes in her direction without moving his head.

She couldn't tell whether he was actually listening, or just acknowledging that she'd spoken, but she was determined to finish what she'd started, so, before she could back out, she took the picture of J.J. out of her wallet and put it into his hand.

It was one she'd taken herself, of him asleep in his car seat, looking so adorable that she couldn't let the moment pass without capturing it for him. The thought of Jack missing out on their son's life had saddened her; there were dozens of albums of similar shots on the bookcase at home, chronicling every stage of his development, from before he was even born.

"His name is J.J.," she told him, bracing herself for his reaction. She was putting her heart on the line by letting him in on that part of her life; she didn't know what she would do if he rejected them. "I named him after his father."

His expression didn't change as he stared at the picture, lowering it to his lap. "This is your… your son?" he asked, his voice dull except for the last word, and she nodded.

"This is why you didn't wanna see me anymore," he realised, but before she could explain, he rushed on, "His father – is he still in the picture?"

"We're not cheating on him, if that's what you mean," she agreed with an ironic grin, trying to calm her nerves by turning it into a joke, but he didn't seem to get the humour.

"Does he know?"

"Who?" she asked, confused. "My dad? I think he noticed."

"Sawyer," he said, and through his bland tone, she could hear fresh resentment. "That's what it stands for, right? James? You left me to go back to him."

"No," she corrected him, and he looked over at her surprised. "J.J… _Jack_… _junior_. I named him after _you_, Jack. If you could see his eyes, you'd see they're yours."

He glanced down at the picture as if seeing it for the first time. "We have a son?" he asked, sounding dazed, and she smiled.

"We have a son."

"He's… We have a son," he repeated, shaking his head, as if he still couldn't believe it, his face breaking into a grin, but seconds later, it was gone. "Then what're you doing here, Kate?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, thrown by the about turn he'd made. She'd thought he was happy, or at least, open to it. "You called _me_."

"I _mean_ you should take him and get the hell out of L.A.," he retorted, thrusting the picture back into her hands, and pushing himself to his feet.

"Don't you wanna see him?" she insisted as she scrambled to follow him, hurt and bewildered by the sudden coldness in his tone. "Jack, I only kept this from you because I didn't want you to feel like you were missing out."

She reached for his arm, but he brushed her off, grabbing the bottle of vodka from the table. "I want you to get out. I never wanna see you – _either_ of you – again," he said as he staggered into his room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Next chapter: Some surprising words of wisdom from Sam, and Jack decides to do his family a favour... ;) 


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews. They've dropped _way_ off again, though, for the last two chapters: please don't make me beg, or start _another_ fic (or worse, kill Jack to get a reaction)! (And yes, it was Locke's funeral, with Helen the only other attendee. I've always thought the great tragedy of his life is that he spent it searching for the love and acceptance that he had in her, but didn't recognise.) ;)

* * *

Chapter 6. Better 

Now that Jack had made his feelings explicit, there was nothing for Kate to do except take her father's advice.

She left the picture on the counter for him, some part of her still hoping that he would come around, and let herself out, losing the battle with her tears as she slid back behind the wheel.

She felt like her heart had been shattered in two; broken all over again, as she replayed his words. He wanted her to leave, not just his apartment, or his life, but _his town_. He never wanted to see her again, her _or _their son.

She knew from checking the rear vision mirror before getting out that her eyes were still swollen, her face blotchy, so she tried to sneak up to the bathroom without attracting her father's notice, but she met him on the stairs, coming down with J.J. on his hip.

"Katie?" he said, stopping in front of her, his voice soft and full of concern. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she choked out, not wanting to hear him say I told you so, but he caught her arm when she tried to push past him to her room.

"Talk to me. Did something happen at the funeral?"

She shook her head, but he wouldn't let her go, pulling her close and holding her instead. She tried to keep her expression blank, to keep him out, but there was something about the gesture that made her feel like a little girl, and before she knew it she was burying her face in his chest, seeking comfort from him.

"Is it Jack?" he asked when she began to compose herself, taking a deep breath, and pushing him off.

She sank down onto the step, and he sat down beside her, his arthritic knees creaking in protest, shifting J.J. onto his lap.

She reached out for him instinctively, taking him into her own arms, and holding him close, as if that could somehow make up for the fact that his father didn't seem to want him. Either of them.

"I told him about J.J," she confessed. "After the funeral. I was losing him again – I just wanted him to think about what he was doing."

"And I take it, by the tears, that he wasn't exactly thrilled?" her father prompted, without an ounce of judgement in his tone, and she nodded, relieved that he wasn't going to berate her about it.

"He told me to get out of L.A. – that he didn't want to see me again, or him," she agreed, fresh tears spilling onto her cheeks. "He was mean, Daddy," she whispered, remembering the way he'd turned his back on her, dismissing her and what she was trying to tell him, "He's never mean – not like that. Not to me," and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Sounds to me like he was just doing what all good fathers do – looking out for his child," he told her, squeezing her side. "He probably thought he was doing you both a favour by stepping aside."

"You really think that's all it was?" she asked him, some of the hope returning to her, as she settled against him, her head on this shoulder, and when she glanced up at him, he was smiling.

"I know it," he agreed, kissing the top of her head. "He wouldn't be taking the risk of meeting you if it wasn't."

* * *

The more she thought about it, the more sense it made; in fact, it was the only explanation that did; by the time she followed J.J. to bed, she was almost certain that, just like when he'd told her not to come back for him, he was only trying to protect her and their son. 

She fell asleep vowing to go see him the next day, only to be jolted awake half an hour later by the shrill of her cell, and J.J.'s anxious cries.

Her first thought was of Jack; torn between her fear that something had happened to him, and her need to comfort their son, she fumbled to answer it as she lifted J.J. out of his crib.

She was sure that she must be out of range when she couldn't make out anything but a barely coherent voice, but when she glanced at the screen there was nothing wrong with her service.

"Hello?" she repeated, listening hard, trying to shut out her son's wails, her stomach bottoming out when she checked the caller ID.

It was Jack.

"I didn't mean what I said," he told her without stopping for pleasantries, as if he wasn't sure how much time he had. "Of course I wanna see ya, it's just…"

"Where are you?" she asked him, bouncing J.J. on her hip as she stepped out into the hall, making her way to her father's room, but he didn't seem to hear her.

"It's better this way, you'll see," he went on as if she hadn't spoken, and her blood ran cold as a thousand different scenarios ran through her mind, each ending with her attending another funeral.

"What's better, Jack?" she pressed, picking up the pace, pounding on her father's door, and calling out to him. "What did you do?"

"I just want you to know you'll be taken care of… I set up an account…" he told her, becoming harder to understand, and when her father poked his head out, she half shoved J.J. into his arms.

"Take him."

"Katie, what…?" he asked, but she was off and running again, twisting her ankle as she thundered down the stairs.

It should have hurt, but it didn't. She couldn't feel anything. She was sure she never would again. Everything inside her was numb. "Just take him!" she ordered without looking back, scooping up the nearest set of keys, and racing out into the night.

She didn't stop for pedestrians, or any of the red lights between his place and hers, determined to worry about the consequences if and when they arose, once she knew that Jack was safe.

"Jack!" she cried as she stormed into his apartment, scanning the room for him. "Jack!"

She found him passed out on the bed with the phone still in his hand, the empty vodka bottle, and about a dozen pills, on the dresser beside him. The picture was there too, amid the clutter, as if he'd wanted to take one last look at it.

She was almost too afraid to check his pulse, but switching over to autopilot, she forced herself to press her fingers to his throat, her knees buckling with relief when she felt the gentle rhythm of his heart.

"Jack," she repeated, lifting his shoulders so that he was half sitting against her, shaking him, and slapping his cheeks, but he didn't respond.

She knew that she needed to keep him awake until she could get help, so, sliding her arms underneath his, she dragged him into the bathroom, turning on the shower full pelt, and plunging them both under its spray.

She wasn't sure how long she stood, supporting him, letting the cold water wash over them, but after a while, he began to come to, blinking at her as she shut off the taps, and wrapped a bath sheet around them, collapsing onto the tiles with him still in her arms.

He seemed confused to find her there, sitting with him at the bottom of his shower, both of them drenched, and it was only then, as she held him, brushing her lips against the top of his head, that she realised she was still in her pyjamas.

* * *

Next chapter: Kate goes to visit Jack in hospital, and brings a surprise... ;) 


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks so much for the reviews. I don't feel like I'm wasting my time on this fic, but it's nice to hear it from you. :)

As for them, I will get to that, I promise! (A little spoiler: Jack and Kate will be going to Germany in an upcoming chapter to talk to Sayid.) I can't tell you who they are just yet (unless you want me to ruin the surprise!), but I will tell you that they don't care about Jack and Kate's relationship. Their concern it that if they get together, the survivors will start conspiring against them, and expose the island, and their activities, to the public. ;)

* * *

Chapter 7. The Reason

"Katie? Are you ever gonna tell me what's going on?" her father asked, ambushing her at the door, when she arrived home hours later. His expression was haggard, worry etched into his features, and she knew that he'd waited up for her.

After calling an ambulance, she had gone with Jack to the hospital; not his, she was determined to save him that embarrassment, though she was pretty sure that his boss would find out somehow; pacing the waiting room while they pumped his stomach, and stabilised him. She wasn't worried about anyone seeing her, or the fact that she was still in her sodden nightclothes, covered over by a coat she'd borrowed from him. She just needed to hear that he was okay.

That news had come just before 3 a.m., when he was taken to a private room to recover, and she was told to come back during visiting hours.

"Jack tried to kill himself tonight," she told her father, coming back to the moment, rubbing a hand over her eyes as she sank onto the couch, too exhausted to move any further now that the rush of adrenaline had ceased. "He took a bunch of pills, and washed them down with half a bottle of vodka."

"Tried? So he's… he's alive?" he checked, surprising her by sounding almost panicked as she felt whenever she let her mind flash back to finding him, and she felt the cushions sag as he sat down beside her.

"He's at the hospital. They're keeping him a couple of days for observation, but they say he's gonna be fine," she agreed, curling up on her side, hugging a throw pillow to her chest, her head on the armrest, her whole body weak with relief.

"How's J.J.?" she added when she realised that the house was silent. "Did you get him to sleep?"

"About ten minutes after you left. He just had a little scare," he assured her, rubbing her back, and she gave him a wry smile as she began to drift off.

"Mmm. Didn't we all?"

* * *

She woke up on the couch the next morning, her neck stiff, her aching body covered over with a comforter.

Ambling into the kitchen, she found her father at the table, feeding J.J. mashed pears. He smiled when he saw her standing in the doorway, gesturing to a plate of bacon, and another of eggs, on the counter.

"Help yourself."

She still wasn't hungry, feeling nauseous as she remembered the vacant look on Jack's face, but realising that he was trying to make her feel better, she did as he instructed, taking a seat opposite him.

"So I guess you'll going back to the hospital today?" he asked her as he watched her rearrange the contents of her plate with her fork without ingesting more than a few mouthfuls.

When she hesitated, trying to figure out whether or not this was a trap, he reached for her hand. "I'll take the little guy – you just do what you have to do."

He seemed to have changed his position since telling her that her visits to Jack had to stop, but she wasn't sure he'd be so supportive of what she had in mind; taking a deep breath, steeling herself for another blow out, she admitted, "Actually, Dad, I was thinking of taking him with me this time."

She expected him to warn her against it; to tell her that it was one thing to take that risk with herself; but when she met his eyes, he nodded, his expression grave. "I think that would be a good idea."

* * *

It took her over an hour to get J.J. ready, fretting about what he was going to wear, as if this would somehow make a difference to Jack. She wanted him to love him as much as she did, to want to become a better person for him, like she had, the first time she'd held him.

He was sitting propped against the pillows, staring into space, when they entered his room, his morose expression replaced with one of shock, then horror, as his eyes settled on J.J., balanced on her hip.

"Kate," he said, his voice soft as he dragged out the lone syllable, loading it with meaning: guilt, regret, sorrow… fear. "You shouldn't have brought him. You know—"

"I don't care," she told him, dropping her purse onto one of the visitor's chairs, and approaching the bed. She'd spent the entire drive rehearsing what she was going to say to him when she got there, but now that she was standing in front of him, all she could think about was how much she wanted to kill him herself. "You scared me, Jack – now it's my turn to scare you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she ignored him, refusing to leave until he heard her out.

"This is J.J. – this is your son," she told him, transferring him onto his lap, and he sat there looking around, first at Jack, then back at her, then around the room, oblivious to the importance of the occasion.

To her relief, it wasn't lost on his father, who struggled to keep his emotions in check as he reached out a tentative hand to touch his cheek.

"He almost lost his father last night," she continued, tears welling in her own eyes at the thought of how close they'd both come to losing him. "And he needs you, Jack – we both do. So you don't get to play the martyr. You don't get to give up. You're part of this, whether you want to be or not, so you can stop pretending you're the only one who made a mistake. You didn't know what was gonna happen – none of us did."

Afraid that she was being too harsh, driving him towards another desperate act, she softened, perching on the edge of the bed beside them. "You wanted something worth staying sober for, a reason to get clean – well here it is, _the reason_. Nothing else matters, not you, not the past, not whoever's watching… You always told me you wanted to be a better dad than yours was to you – so be one."

They were both crying by the time that she finished her rant, Jack looking cowed, and ashamed, and she knew that she'd done the right thing by bringing their son there, even if he wasn't happy about it.

"So this is Jack junior?" he said, his voice breaking as he studied him, watching him squirm in his lap, grabbing at things, full of life and energy; everything that he himself was lacking. "He's beautiful, Kate – you did a good job."

"Well I had help," she teased him, squeezing his hand, and he smiled, weak at first, before letting it go and pulling her up beside him, so that they were sitting together at the top of the bed, her head resting against his.

"I promise you will from now on," he told her, kissing her, as they curled up together, admiring their son, and for the first time since she'd discovered his existence, she felt nothing but contentment. And hope. "I wanna be there for you, Kate – both of you. I wanna be the kind of man he can look up to again. I just need time to figure out how to do that."

* * *

Next chapter: Kate and J.J. hang out with Jack in his hospital room, and a message is delivered... ;) 


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews. I was so happy to hear that this fic reminds some of you of the show! Here is where things get Lost-ier, as I put you out of your misery and reveal the identity of the unseen them... (a.k.a My theory about who might be on the freighter). You'll all read it and go "Ohhh...Why didn't I think of that?" I actually thought it would be really obvious. ;)

* * *

Chapter 8. Consequences 

While Kate could tell that Jack was distracted, tensing each time the door opened and one of the nurses entered the room, his resolve to protect her and their son wasn't strong enough for him to send them home, not now that he'd seen what he was missing.

"I wanna know everything about him," he told her, still watching J.J. with an affectionate smile, as if he were trying to commit every detail to memory, gripping him under the arms and pulling him back when it looked like he might try to crawl over the side of the mattress. "About when you were pregnant, the day he was born, his life so far..."

"I thought you might," she agreed, sliding off the bed and retrieving her purse. "That's why I made you these." She took out one of the albums, and spread it across his knees. "I only have the first two, but I'll bring some more tomorrow. That way you should be all caught up by the time you get out of here."

She tried to keep her tone bright as she climbed back up next to him, opening the book to the first page, but she could see the sorrow in his eyes as he studied their son's first picture, tracing the pale blur in the middle of the print out with his index finger. It was a nice thought, but it could never make up for all that lost time.

"I was so nervous that day," she confessed, snuggling back into him so that they could look at the album together. "I had no idea what to expect, and the only other person I could think to call was Sun, so I told my dad, and he flew out for the appointment. He was pissed off at me, but when he saw J.J…  
"Since then, he's been amazing. He moved out here so I wouldn't have to give up school after the baby was born."

"I'm glad you had someone to take care of you," he said, his voice soft and bitter as he turned the page. "I'd hate to think of you going through that alone."

She wasn't sure what to say to that, how to comfort him, so she slid the arm closest to him around him, hugging him as she continued to explain what he was looking at.

"And that's me getting really fat," she told him when they came to a picture her father had taken of her, around the fifth month, when anyone could tell that she was pregnant. She'd tried to keep that fact hidden for as long as she could, afraid that someone would put two and two together, but nothing happened. "I think I put on about ten pounds in the first couple of months," she joked, and he laughed.

"You weren't fat, you were just as beautiful as ever. I'm sorry I wasn't around to remind you of that."

"Maybe next time," she said, and he frowned.

"Maybe."

It took them several hours to get through both albums, from her first sonogram, to the end of their son's fourth week of life, while J.J. alternated between grabbing at the edges, trying to put them in his mouth, and falling asleep across their laps.

She let Jack feed him when the time came, loving how gentle and earnest he was as he coaxed him into opening up, but by the afternoon, all the excitement had proved too much for him, so, after a prolonged goodbye, she took him back, bouncing him on her hip to settle him as she gathered up her purse.

When she looked up, Jack was smiling at them, a smile she'd never seen before.

"What?" she asked him, returning his grin, self-conscious all of a sudden.

"I just never saw you as a mom before," he admitted, and she wasn't sure how to take this: was it because she was an ex con? Or because he thought she was too flighty and selfish? Or did he just have limited imagination?

"Thanks," she replied, unable to hide the note of sarcasm in her tone, and he let out a soft chuckle in response.

"It wasn't an insult, Kate," he assured her, taking her hand and squeezing it. "When I saw you at the airport, I couldn't believe how together you were. You didn't even seem like the same person. I just… get it now. You became what he needed you to be."

"And you will too," she agreed as she leant down to kiss him goodbye. "But right now, you need to rest, so we can take you home." She kissed him again, longer this time, then, squeezing J.J.'s foot, he let them go, settling back against the pillows.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Daddy," she teased him at the door; he repeated the word, testing it out with a lop-sided grin, and she had to duck out of the room before they both started getting emotional again.

Their visit had lifted his spirits higher than she ever could have hoped for, and she was glad that she'd decided to bring their son along. "Good job," she told him, smiling and planting an affectionate kiss on the top of his head as they made their way down to the car park.

She wasn't sure how things were going to work when he got discharged, whether they would continue to meet alone, or as a family, but at that moment, she was just relieved that she didn't have to keep secrets from him anymore.

And that he was as in love with their son as she was, maybe even more, since he was still basking in that new parent glow.

By the time they got out of the lift, J.J. had drifted off with his cheek pressed to her shoulder; she was trying to transfer him to his car seat without incurring his wrath for waking him when she became aware of a presence behind her.

"Cute kid you've got there," someone said, and she turned to see a man in lab coat standing in the empty space beside hers, watching her.

"Uh, thanks," she told him with a weak smile, speeding up her efforts to buckle J.J. in. She wasn't sure why, but something about the stranger creeped her out. Maybe it was because he didn't seem to have a car.

"It'd be a shame if something were to happen to him," he continued, and she froze, rounding on him.

"Just so we're clear, are you threatening my son?"

"Of course not," he assured her with a mirthless chuckle. "I just know some folks who could find plenty of uses for a child that young and impressionable."

"You're one of _them_," she realised with a sense of slow dawning horror. "D.H.A.R.M.A. They sent you to spy on us."

He let out another forced laugh, but the smile that followed didn't reach his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Kate. I'm just a lab technician. I'm filling in here for a couple of days, then I'll be heading back over to St. Sebastian's." He enunciated the name carefully, as if to make sure that they were on the same page.

"So you're watching us," she repeated, pulling her son back out of the car, and hugging him to her chest. The sudden movement woke him up, and he began to whimper, warming up for the main event. "What do you want?"

"We want you to end your relationship with Dr. Shephard – no emails, no phone calls, no visits… No more rendezvous at motels."

"Why?" she retorted, trying not to let him see how shaken she was that they knew about these meetings, that in spite of their precautions, they hadn't fooled anyone but themselves.

"Because that's the deal you made to get off that island."

"And if I don't?"

"As I said, it'd be a shame if something were to happen to your boy," he reminded her, and her stomach clenched into a painful knot as he confirmed her deepest fears.

So that was their game: they were appealing to her emotions, making her choose, assuming that they understood her. It was like the marshal all over again.

"We're very interested in human behaviour, Kate – nature versus nurture, that sort of thing. It's not easy to find parents willing to subject their children to experiments of that kind, so we take them from wherever we can."

She wasn't sure whether his use of the word "take" was deliberate, but either way, the message was clear.

"You have twenty four-hours," he concluded as he turned back towards the lift. "Go, see your boyfriend, tell him whatever you have to get him to leave you alone, because the next time we catch you betraying our agreement, there will be consequences."

* * *

Next chapter: Kate goes to see Jack again, but will she listen to her new friend, or tell him the truth? ;) 


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. As the title implies, the ending _will _be happy (regardless of whether or not they go back to the island), but at the moment I am toying with the idea of a character death (Not Jack, Kate or J.J., don't worry! They would all have to live for it to be happy!)... ;)

* * *

Chapter 9. Exposure

All through the drive home, and for the rest of the day, Kate kept replaying the conversation in her head, trying to decide what to do. She couldn't let them take her son, but she couldn't break it off with Jack again either, in the wake of his suicide attempt. He was still so fragile; she didn't want to be the thing that pushed him over the edge.

She was afraid that if she confided in her father, he would reinstate his opposition, so she forced herself to act normal as she went through the motions, relieved when J.J. was down, and the kitchen was clean, and she could go to bed herself.

She didn't sleep much that night, waking not long after dawn from a nightmare that someone had sealed J.J. inside a soundproof box. She could see him crying for her, his little face turning puce, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get him out.

She didn't want to tempt fate, so she left him with her father the next morning when she went to the hospital, still unsure of how to protect him. She could tell Jack that it wasn't worth the risk; that she didn't love him anymore; or insist that she'd lied about J.J. being his son, but she doubted that he would believe her on either point.

She could have let him die, and given them both peace, but she'd rushed over in the middle of the night, in her pyjamas, to stand under the shower with him. And even without sharing his name, her son was the spitting image of him. She'd seen it from the moment that he was born, but watching them together, she'd noticed that even some of their mannerisms, and expressions, were alike.

Jack was revisiting one of the albums, grinning at a picture of her propped up in a similar bed, holding their newborn son; he glanced up when he heard her come in, and his smile wilted when he saw that she was alone.

"Where's J.J.?" he asked, trying to hide his disappointment as she moved over to kiss him.

"At home with my dad," she admitted, and he nodded.

"Oh. I have something for him," he told her, after beat, reaching into a pile of stuff on the chair by his bed, and she felt a pang of guilt when he produced a little brown bear in pale green scrubs. "I'm not trying to pressure him – don't worry – I just saw it in the gift shop and thought it was cute." He handed it to her awkwardly. "Can you give it to him for me?"

"Sure," she agreed, forcing a bright grin as she took it from him, to cover the fact that she was fighting back tears. They couldn't ask her to do this. It wasn't fair. Not to her, not to Jack, and not to their son. He deserved so much more.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked her, touching her arm when she bit her lip, staring down at the linoleum.

"We should go for a walk," she told him when she composed herself, in case anyone was listening, loading the statement with as much meaning as she could without making it too obvious.

He gave her a dubious look. "Is that safe? Someone could see us."

"It's fine," she agreed, knowing that for once, it didn't matter, and he nodded.

"If you're sure." Climbing out of bed, he pulled a pair of jeans and a jacket on over his hospital gown. "Okay, let's go."

Tucking the bear into her purse, she took the hand he offered, and they left the room together, heading down to the grounds.

He stopped when they found a secluded bench in the sun, pulling her down beside him. "So are you gonna tell me what's going on now?" he asked her with a firmness that reminded her of the old, island Jack, and once again, she found herself marvelling at his uncanny ability to read her.

"One of _them_ ambushed me in the parking garage yesterday," she told him, and his face went bone white.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he demanded, and she smiled.

"I'm fine. He didn't touch us, he just talked."

"What about?" he pressed, and she could see that he was getting impatient. "Did he threaten you, Kate?"

"He told me I had to end our relationship," she confessed, a fresh lump forming in her throat at the look of resignation that passed over his features. It was almost as if he'd been expecting it, waiting for someone to ruin their happiness. "He said they were gonna take J.J. and do tests on him if I didn't."

She expected him to tell her to go home and never come back again, but to her surprise, he leapt to his feet, his face livid as he paced like a caged animal in front of her. "Those sons of bitches! I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm gonna find 'em, and I'm gonna kill 'em, starting with whoever that guy was."

"You won't have to look very hard, Jack – he works at St. Sebastian's. That's how he knew about us," she told him, and some of the anger left him as he sank back onto the bench, dropping his head into his hands.

"I can't let them win," he said, and the illusion faded. "Not again. I'm scared of what I'll do without you in my life – you and our son. You saw me."

"Me too," she agreed, rubbing his back, feeling how tense he was. "But I don't know what else to do, Jack – we don't know that they're bluffing."

"We don't know that they're not," he argued, straightening, and she took her hand back.

"He knew about the motels, Jack – if we keep seeing each other, they're gonna find out," she insisted, choking back a sob as she remembered her dream. She couldn't put her son through that. She couldn't let him grow up in a lab. "They're gonna find out, and we're gonna lose him."

"That's why we need to try something else – something offensive," he agreed, casting off his despair, looking more determined than she'd seen him since he'd led them all to ruin at the radio tower. "I'm sick of lying for them – it's time we flushed those bastards out. Once we've got them on the run, they'll be too busy looking over their shoulders to worry about what we're doing."

"You wanna bring them down?" she supplied, part of her wishing that he _had_ sent her packing again, instead of opting for a suicide mission. It was the kind of thing she feared would lead to them both being eliminated if it failed and they got caught.

"No, I want them to bring themselves down, by giving them what they're most afraid of – exposure," he explained, and she couldn't argue with his strategy. That was the one weapon that they had against them: that they'd been to the island, and they knew. "But to do that, we're gonna need two things – witnesses and information."

"Okay, so we have one of those," she allowed, "but even if we can convince them to get involved, it's our word against theirs."

"Which is exactly why we need to talk to someone on the inside. Someone who can get us proof," he went on, and she could see that he was already formulating a plan in his head.

"You really think one of them is gonna help us?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. It was putting a lot on faith, which wasn't like him at all.

"No, one of _us_ is," he corrected her with a smile.

"One of us is one of them now? Who?" It only took her a moment to come up with the answer. "Sayid." He was the only one that she could see volunteering for such a dangerous mission. Even Juliet seemed to have had her fill of working for the bad guys.

"Before everyone scattered, he told me they'd offered him a job," he agreed. "They said they could use a man of his… skills."

Even though she'd never viewed them as frightening before, Kate shuddered now at the thought of a research organisation recruiting a torturer into their ranks. Sayid would never hurt them, at least no more than he had to maintain his cover, but where there was one…

"Did he tell you where they were sending him?" she asked, a tiny part of her hoping that he hadn't, and that the realisation that he had no idea where to look caused Jack to abandon on the plan.

But she wasn't that lucky. He was going, whether she wanted him to or not. "Germany," he agreed, and she felt her heart sink. Sayid was even further away than she would have guessed, all the way on the other side of the world. "He's in Berlin."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack starts making plans to go to Germany, and Kate insists on going with him... ;) 


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the reviews. ;)

* * *

Chapter 10. Taking The Long Way Around

"Berlin, Jack? You can't be serious," Kate argued, and Jack had to remind her to lower her voice. "What if they find out? We almost lost you once…" She felt tears burn her eyes, and she ducked her head, to stare at the ground. She was going to lose him no matter what, but at least while he was alive, there was still hope.

"They won't," he assured her, cupping her chin in his palm to get her to look at him. "I'll make sure of it."

"How're you gonna do that? One look at the manifest will tell them everything they need to know," she reminded him, confused when he grinned, as if he'd already come up with a solution to this.

"You were on the run for three years, Kate – what did you do when you didn't want the marshal to know where you were going?"

"I took the long way around," she explained, realisation dawning on her when he responded with another smile, and an emphatic nod. "You're not going to Berlin, are you?"

"I was thinking somewhere like Copenhagen," he agreed. "Then, when my plane touches down, I'll buy a train ticket for cash."

"If I can't talk you out of it, then I'm coming with you," she blurted out without sparing a thought for the consequences, as though they were back on the island, and it was another hike through the jungle that she was volunteering for.

"No, Kate," he said, shaking his head, and she could see that he was bracing himself for an argument. "It's too dangerous. Someone has to stay here and keep J.J. safe."

"And who's gonna keep you safe?" she insisted, frustrated when she felt another bout threatening to escape. She wasn't ready to trust him again, and she wouldn't be until she saw that he could cope without drugs. "You said it yourself – you need me to stay clean. You're sober now, but there's no telling how long that'll last."

The harshness of her words wasn't lost on her, even though she knew that what she was saying was the truth; she expected him to lose his temper with her then, but he didn't.

He laughed.

"Motherhood hasn't done anything to help with that stubbornness, has it?" he said with an affectionate grin, lifting her hand, and squeezing it.

"Haven't you heard what they say?" she teased him, returning his smile now that he wasn't trying to fight her, "Mothers always know best," and he laughed again.

"I'm not sure that includes other people's," he pointed out, and she slapped his shoulder with her open palm.

"It does if I say it does."

"Fine," he agreed, rubbing his arm in an exaggerated manner, "You know best," before his mood turned serious again, "But that doesn't change the fact that we can't both go to Berlin–or _Copenhagen_–without drawing unwanted attention to ourselves."

"So I'll go somewhere else," she told him, reaching all the way back to high school geography for a map of Europe "—Paris."

"Are you gonna listen to me if I tell you no?" he asked, and she shook her head, crossing her arms as she dug her heels in.

"No, just like you wouldn't listen to me."

He sighed, resigned, as he leant back, running a hand over his hair. "I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea for us to procreate," he told her with a lopsided grin, and she hit him again, laughing.

"He's pretty mellow now, but when the time comes for him to start rebelling, we're just gonna have to gang up on him," she agreed.

They spent the next hour making travel plans, organising to meet at the Berlin airport in three days time.

Once the arrangements were finalised, and committed to memory, Kate stood up, collecting her purse, but when she leant over to kiss Jack goodbye, he put out a hand to stop her.

"You want it to look like we just broke up, right? In case they're watching," he checked, his expression grim, and flashing back on her conversation with the man in the car park, she nodded. "So just walk away. And don't forget to give that bear to J.J. for me."

"I'll make sure it's the first thing I do when I get home," she told him as she straightened, forcing the smile from her face. "I guess I'll see you in Berlin."

And she did, resisting the urge to look back.

* * *

J.J. was sitting on his mat on the living room floor when she got home, playing with a pile of blocks.

"Look, J, look what Daddy has for you," she said to get his attention, crouching down to his level, and pulling out the bear. "You remember Daddy, don't you? He remembers you."

He chuckled when she waved it in front of him, reaching out for it as she danced it through the air towards him; shoving its ear into his mouth and chewing once it was in his hands.

Her father was reading on the other side of the room, but he glanced up when he heard her son's laughter. "What's that?" he asked, curious. He was the one with cash to burn, so he bought most of J.J.'s toys.

"A present from Jack," she explained, her eyes still on J.J., trying to crystallise his reaction in her mind so that she could describe it to Jack later, when he asked. "He asked me to give it to him."

"That's nice," he agreed, taking his glasses off, and putting his book down on the arm. "You haven't said much about him since you got back yesterday. How's he doing? Better, I hope." He was trying to sound supportive, but she could hear the disapproval in his tone. Now that the shock had worn off, and there was no permanent harm done, it seemed that he still hadn't forgiven Jack for what he'd tried to do.

"He wants me to go to Germany with him," she admitted, standing up, and his eyes widened.

"What's wrong with wherever you've been meeting him?" he asked, but while he framed it as a joke, she could see that the question was serious.

"It won't be forever," she assured him. "Just a few days. We have a friend there. He can help." She did her best to make the trip sound reasonable, but she could see that he wasn't convinced.

"Katie," he said, with a sigh, his voice slow and careful, "Honey, I know you miss him, and I'm sorry for that, I really am, but you can't let yourself get dragged back into that life. You need to think of your boy."

She glanced over at J.J., still munching on the ear of his bear, oblivious to the silent battle raging around him. "I am," she agreed.

* * *

Next chapter: The adventure begins... ;) 


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews. I thought it was time I updated again... ;)

* * *

Chapter 11. Planes, Trains and Automobiles 

On Friday, less than two days after Kate last saw Jack in the hospital, her father drove her to LAX, where she was catching an Oceanic flight to Paris. It felt a little ominous to be using the same airline, but Jack had insisted that it would look less suspicious if they were both using the passes they'd been given. And it was safe, he'd assured her; too safe, considering his futile hope of landing back on the island. Not that either of them wanted to go back there anymore, at least not without each other and J.J.

"Maybe I should take him with me," she told her father as she kissed him for what she realised must have been the hundredth time that morning, hugging him so tight that he squirmed in protest. "Wouldn't that make Daddy happy?" she asked him, though she wasn't entirely sure that it would under the circumstances.

"You wanna find out what happens when you force a fussy six month old to sit still for twenty hours straight, you go right ahead," her father agreed with an affectionate laugh as he pried J.J. out of her grip. "But he'll be fine, Katie. He'll miss you like crazy -- we both will -- but he'll be fine."

"Promise me you'll take really good care of him," she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, as he slipped out of her arms, regretting her decision to leave him now that the moment of separation had arrived. She hadn't spent more than six hours without him in the entire fifteen months of his existence, and now, he would be on a whole other continent, where she couldn't even drop by during lunch.

"The best," her father assured her, drawing her in for a one-armed hug of his own, before giving her a gentle push in the direction of the boarding gate. "Now you just worry about putting your family back together, and leave everything else to me."

After one last kiss, and one final cuddle, she forced herself to turn her back on them, and start down the long, windowless corridor to the plane.

As she buckled herself into her seat; on the aisle, where her view of the world below was limited; she wished that Jack were there to hold her hand during take off, but if he were, she wouldn't be travelling to Europe in the first place. She would be at home, with him and their son, where she belonged.

She tried to get comfortable, to sleep, so that the trip would go faster, but there was a baby three rows behind who wouldn't stop crying, and all she could think about was J.J. When all this was over, she decided, she was going to suggest to Jack that they take him on a real vacation, somewhere far away, where they could all spend time alone as a family.

She wasn't sure if it was because she was anxious, not just about being on a plane again, but about what would happen when she arrived, or because it spanned the better part of the day, but the flight seemed to drag on forever. She'd brought her notes for a paper that was due at the end of the week on in her carry on luggage, but by the time the plane touched down at the Charles de Gaulle International Airport in Paris, she hadn't managed to draft more than a few disjointed paragraphs.

She'd exceeded her tolerance level for travel by then, but she still had to make the eleven-hour journey to meet Jack, so she took a cab to the Gare du Nord, where she used the cash he'd given her to book a sleeper cabin to Berlin.

It was so different to the stations back home, older, and full of ornate statues representing the various places the lines ran to, that she wished she'd had more time to explore it; it seemed like a shame to come all the way to France just to see the inside of the airport and the train station, but at the same time, she knew that she wouldn't be able to enjoy until she'd heard what Sayid had to say.

Maybe they could come back for their honeymoon, she found herself thinking, forcing herself to shake the idea off before she got too attached, determined not to start making plans while they still had such an uncertain road ahead of them. She'd been disappointed before; she didn't think she could take it again, not now with so much riding on their success.

It was much easier to sleep now that she was back on solid ground, so after boarding the train, and calling home to check on J.J. for the umpteenth time since setting out, she locked the door, and crawled into the bottom bunk still in everything but her shoes. She missed him more than she'd ever believed she could someone who'd only been in her life for the better part of a year, but the thought of seeing Jack kept her from jumping on the next flight home, giving her something to look forward to once she reached her destination.

She was so tired and jet lagged by then that she drifted off as soon as her head hit the pillow; the next thing she knew, a voice was announcing Berlin Hauptbahnhof, the station where she was due to disembark.

The plan was to catch another cab to the airport, which they'd chosen as a meeting point because they knew it wouldn't be too hard to find, but when she stepped of the train, she was surprised to spot Jack waiting for her on the platform.

Her first thought was that they'd been discovered, and that he'd come to intercept her, or that his information about Sayid was wrong, but she forgot all this when he took the suitcase from her hand and swept her into a fierce embrace.

"I couldn't wait another hour to see you," he confessed, keeping her wrapped in his arms as he greeted her with an enthusiastic kiss.

"That's good, because I'm not sure I could've waited much longer to see you either," she told him, bowing her forehead against his, reflecting on how torturous the past few days had been. It was nice not to have to hide for once, to be with him in public without having to worry about who saw them. To everyone here, they weren't Jack and Kate; they weren't survivors, or witnesses; they were just another young couple in love.

She kissed him a few more times, then let go, allowing him to take her suitcase for her. "So do we know where to go to look for Sayid?" she checked as he led her out to the car park, where he'd left his rental.

"Better – I have an address," he told her, showing her the scrap of paper he'd tucked into his pocket. "I drove past, and as far as I can tell, it's a normal apartment building, so we shouldn't have any trouble getting in to see him."

"Is that where we're going now?" she asked him once he'd loaded her luggage into the trunk and joined her in the front seat. It was still early evening, not too late for a social call; even if he worked Saturdays, he should be at home.

"You just got here, Kate – wouldn't you rather go back to the hotel and rest first, and worry about all that tomorrow?" he prompted her with an impish grin, and she couldn't help grinning back.

"You planned this, didn't you?" she said, levelling an accusing stare at him, but she was laughing, and so was he, as he put the car into gear. "That's why you came to pick me up. No wonder you couldn't wait for my train to get in."

* * *

Next chapter: Sayid... ;) 


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for the reviews. More spoilers in this chapter (slight!). Hope no one minds! ;)

* * *

Chapter 12. Elsa 

Rolling over to glance at the clock, a languid smile spread over Kate's features. It was after ten a.m. on Sunday morning, and she was still in bed with the man she loved, recovering from what had to be one of the best nights of her life; for perhaps the first time in the course of their relationship, circumstances hadn't forced one or both of them to dress and slip off while it wasn't even light outside.

The only thing that could make it more perfect; more _normal_; was their son, tucked up in his crib in the next room; wondering if he was awake, and missing her as much as he missed him, she leant over the edge of the bed, retrieving her cell from the pocket of her jeans.

The action was met with a soft chuckle from behind her. "You do realise it's 3 a.m. over there?" Jack reminded her as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back towards him, and kissing the side of her neck.

"You're right," she agreed, abandoning her cell on the dresser, and settling into his embrace, closing her eyes as his lips travelled lower, to the back of her shoulder, but as hard as she tried to focus on him and what he was doing, her mind kept wandering back to California.

"Go on, you know you want to," he said, laughing, pressing one final kiss to her shoulder blade as he reached across her to hand her her cell.

"That doesn't make me crazy?" she asked him as she took it from him, her cheeks flushing pink, feeling embarrassed and guilty for being so distracted, and for killing the moment.

"That just makes you a mom," he agreed with an affectionate smile, kissing her again, on the lips this time, before pulling on his jeans and heading into the bathroom to give her some privacy.

Her father answered on the first ring, J.J. wailing somewhere in the background. "He was fine until you woke him," he pointed out when she seized on this, softening his tone as he added, "I told you not to worry, Katie. I'll make sure you get him back exactly the way you left him."

"I know," she agreed as she said her goodbyes and hung up.

"Everything okay?" Jack asked her as he came back, showered and dressed.

"Except that I've turned into one of those mothers… You know, the ones who spit into a Kleenex and wipe their son's face at graduation," she told him, tossing her cell aside, and flopping back against the pillow with a sigh.

"It's possible," he agreed as he perched on the edge of the bed to replace his shoes, and she aimed a feeble blow in his direction, connecting with his side, "but a weirdo in a parking garage told you he was going to make your son into a science project – what's their excuse?"

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, sitting up to give him an incredulous look, but something about what he said put it into perspective, and she found herself laughing as she pulled the comforter off the bed and started gathering her own clothes.

* * *

An hour later, Jack had parked in front of a whitewashed building on a tree-lined street in the upper middle class district of Charlottenburg.

"Nice," he said, leaning back, and taking it in with an appreciative whistle. "Who knew D.H.A.R.M.A. paid so well?"

Kate forced herself to return his smile, but she couldn't keep from voicing her fears. "What if he's changed, Jack?" she asked as they climbed out, nervous all of a sudden. "What if they got to him?" The thought of getting caught was frightening enough without Sayid being the one to report them.

He took her hand as they started up the walk to the entrance, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "If you have to ask that, then you don't remember Sayid," he said.

They stopped talking outside the door to his apartment, exchanging perplexed looks when a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman, similar in age to Kate, answered instead.

"We're looking for Sayid Jarrah," Jack told her in English, checking the paper again. "Do you know where we can find him?"

The blonde woman looked them both up and down, flashing them a polite smile that Kate was convinced was fake. There was something about her that reminded her of Shannon, only shrewder, and more detached, like Juliet. "Yes," she agreed in her thick German accent, turning back into the apartment. "Sayid, there are some people here for you."

A moment later, Sayid appeared behind her, his hair shorter and more conservative than Kate remembered, but otherwise the same. He raised an eyebrow on seeing them together, covering his surprise with a welcoming smile.

"I see you've met Elsa," he said, putting a hand on her waist in a way that required no further explanation as he gestured for them to step inside. "Elsa, this is Jack and Kate – old friends from the U.S."

"The U.S.? Wow. You must tell me some time if it is like in the movies," she said, sounding impressed, but there was something in her tone that Kate didn't like. It was like she was playing a part of someone shallower than she was. Then again, didn't that describe a large percentage of the female population? Maybe Sayid had told her about Shannon, and she thought that was the kind of woman he preferred.

"Only if you tell us if Germany is just like in the movies," she agreed, and Jack glanced over at her with a questioning look, but didn't comment.

If Sayid noticed the tension between them, he didn't acknowledge it. "Elsa, would you excuse us?" he asked her, and she nodded.

"Of course," she agreed, pecking his cheek as she left the room, but as she disappeared around the corner, Kate caught a glimpse of something else. She was annoyed.

"I assume Jack filled you in on our last conversation?" Sayid asked her in a low voice, drawing her attention back to him.

"Yeah," she agreed, wondering if this was the moment where he took them out into the hall, and warned them that Elsa was a spy. "He told me you were working for D.H.A.R.M.A. now."

Sayid let out an ironic laugh, and she relaxed at the knowledge that he didn't approve of her phrasing. He hadn't been turned. "Elsa doesn't know anything about the crash, or what I do, and I would like to keep it that way," he explained, providing Kate with the answer to at least one of her questions. His new girlfriend wasn't D.H.A.R.M.A., at least, not as far as he knew. "Can we do this somewhere else? Somewhere where we can talk in private? Perhaps we could meet for dinner?"

"Sure," Jack agreed as he and Kate exchanged a look, both of them thinking the same thing: J.J. They had to get back to him before anyone figured out where they were. "Tonight okay? We weren't planning on staying that long."

"Tonight's perfect – Elsa has plans, so she won't be underfoot," Sayid told them, his smile returning. "Now would you like to stay for drinks?"

* * *

Next chapter: Dinner with Sayid... ;) 


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the belated update -- I didn't get the chance to finish it on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday the site wouldn't let me post it. (The whole "Oceanic Six" thing also threw a spanner in the works of my plans, and I had to decide whether or not to incorporate it!) Everything in this chapter is canon, but I'm deviating from the show's mythology in favour of what was revealed in _The Lost Experience_, so some people might not be familiar with it.

Now that the site's back online, I'm going to try to update "Hide And Seek" some time later in the day, or tomorrow... ;)

* * *

Chapter 13. _The Valenzetti Equation_

"Is it just me, or is there something weird about Elsa?" Kate asked Jack as they returned to the rental. They'd just spent an hour making small talk with her and Sayid over coffee, and yet, in spite of her best efforts, she still couldn't understand what he saw in her. Or rather, _she could_, and that was what worried her.

"Weird as in how?" he checked, frowning as he slid back behind the wheel.

"Weird as in… fake," she explained, climbing in to the passenger's seat, self-conscious as she realised that he didn't share her suspicions. As far as she could tell, Elsa had failed to leave a favourable impression on him too, but he didn't dislike her. Not as much as she did.

"A lot of women are fake, Kate," he reminded her, slotting the key into the ignition, but he didn't start the engine, turning to her instead. "Shannon was fake."

"Shannon – you noticed that too?" she asked him, seizing on this, surprised that the resemblance didn't seem to bother him as much as it bothered her.

"Yeah. It was pretty obvious," he agreed, giving her a look as if to say, _So_?

"So, what if she's one of them, and he's just to close to see it?" she filled in for him, withdrawing her cell as panic clutched at her heart. "What if they _chose_ her, Jack?"

This seemed to strike a nerve with him; he shifted his gaze to the windshield, staring straight ahead. "It's always possible, I guess, but Sayid's the best judge of character of anyone we know. He's never given us any reason not to trust him – he was right about Ben when everyone else, even I, believed him."

"What about Juliet?" she pointed out, still not convinced that she was being paranoid; years on the run had taught her to treat strangers' intentions with a healthy amount of cynicism. "He was wrong about her."

"That's different," he complained with a sigh, running a hand over his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with being overly cautious."

It was exactly the response she'd been hoping for. "That's all I'm saying," she told him, and he put his hand down as he realised that he'd fallen into her trap.

"You heard what your dad said this morning – he's fine, Kate," he said, softening as he reached across the console to stroke her jaw with his thumb. He moved in as if to kiss her, stopping when their faces were inches apart.

"We made it this far, so let's hear what Sayid has to say tonight," he told her, his voice low and intimate, comforting, and, as she looked into his eyes, she found herself relaxing, "Then, if you're still worried, I'll drive you to the train station as soon as we're done."

He closed the distance between them, finishing the kiss, before pulling back with a reassuring smile. "I promise."

* * *

Under the guise of walking them to the lift at the end of their visit, Sayid had slipped Jack the address of a quiet pub on the inner city limits, where it was unlikely that the three of them would be seen together. He had already staked out a corner table when they arrived, catching each of their eyes in turn as he glanced up to check the clock over the bar. 

"I must admit," he confessed, sounding apologetic, once they'd dispensed with the handshakes and hugs, and they were all seated, Jack and Kate on one side, him on the other, "I was surprised to see the two of you together, under the circumstances. Tell me, what brings you to Berlin?"

Following his example, and cutting to the chase, Jack's voice took on the same determined tone it had at the hospital. "We wanna know about D.H.A.R.M.A. Everything you've found out since you started working for them."

Sayid stared back at him, holding his gaze, as if he were trying to see inside his mind, to figure out what he was missing. "It's been almost three years, Jack," he said in his careful, even tone. "Why now?"

Clearly, this wasn't how Jack had imagined the conversation playing out. "Why now?" he repeated, struggling to control his temper as he was forced to remember what had brought them there. "Because one of them threatened Kate."

"Really?" A light went on in Sayid's eyes as he shifted his attention to her, regarding her with interest. "What did he say?"

Until that moment, she had been careful not to mention J.J., just in case he or Elsa couldn't be trusted, but remembering Jack's words, she admitted, her disgust and outrage returning, "He told me they were gonna kidnap my son – use him in some kind of experiment."

Sayid raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Your son?" he repeated.

Pulling her wallet from the back pocket of her jeans, she slid out a more recent picture than the one she'd given Jack; his eyes were open this time, leaving little doubt about who his father was. "This is J.J.," she told him as he took it from her. "He's six months old, and he met his father for the first time this week."

He studied it carefully, glancing from her, to Jack, without comment, before handing it back. "D.H.A.R.M.A. is only the tip of the iceberg," he began, lowering his voice, and Kate smiled.

"It stands for the Department of Heuristics and Research on Material Applications. It's a research initiative, financed by the Hanso Foundation – a non-profit organisation set up by Alvar Hanso, a Danish weapons supplier – and two other corporations—" he gave them each a meaningful look "—The Widmore Corporation and Paik Heavy Industries."

It took Kate a moment to realise where she'd heard the names before, and then her mouth fell open in surprise. "Is that…?"

Sayid nodded. "The companies owned by Sun's father, and Charles Widmore, father of Penelope Widmore, Desmond's girlfriend – the one Naomi told us employed her."

Jack let out a low whistle. "It's all connected."

"It is," Sayid agreed, "which is why we need to approach this with caution."

"Any idea what they might be hiding?" Jack pressed.

"There're rumours within the foundation of an equation – the Valenzetti Equation – commissioned by the U.N. to predict the exact date of humanity's extinction. It's a sequence of numbers, totalling 108 – 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42…"

"The numbers," Kate supplied, thinking back to all the times she'd punched them into the computer while on shift in the Hatch. "They were an equation?"

"According to Gary Troup, the author of the only known book on the subject," Sayid agreed.

Again, Kate was struck by a strange sense of deja vu. "Why does that name sound familiar?" she asked, trying to place it.

"He was one of the people killed in the crash – Hurley found one of his other manuscripts in the wreckage," he explained, and something inside her brain clicked as she remembered Jack throwing the last pages into the fire to convince Sawyer to give back the guns. "Conspiracy theorists have speculated that it was orchestrated to cover his murder, since Hanso bought up all the copies of _The Valenzetti Equation_ shortly after publication."

"Why would anyone plan something like that?" Kate couldn't help insisting, sickened by the thought. She couldn't believe that all of those deaths were a means to an end, not when they couldn't even be sure that they'd succeeded. "Sun was on that plane – why would her father want her dead?"

"Either Hanso was acting alone, or Desmond was right, and it was an accident," Sayid agreed. "It's more likely that Troup's death was a fortunate coincidence."

Jack had fallen silent, processing this, but he jumped back into the conversation then. "So then what does all this have to do with us?"

"According to the rest of the book, the D.H.A.R.M.A Initiative was designed to alter the course of human history by using scientific research to manipulate the environment, in hopes of changing these core factors," he explained, and Kate found she had to replay it in her head a couple of times before she was sure that she understood it.

"That's what they were doing on the island? Manipulating the environment?" Jack repeated.

"Apparently."

"So if they're trying to help, why don't they want this getting out?" she asked, confused. If they were the good guys, why was secrecy so important to them? And why were they threatening her and Jack to ensure it?

"The island has properties not seen anywhere else on earth," Sayid told them, and Jack nodded, his expression a combination of enlightenment and disgust as he seemed to guess what was coming. "They don't want to share that with the rest of the scientific community, any more than they want to create mass hysteria by publishing their findings."

"I guess the question now is, how do we stop them?" he asked.

This time, it was Kate who arrived there first. "We find the books," she said, before the thought had even finished forming in her mind.

Jack looked to Sayid for confirmation, and he nodded. "She's right. Once we have the books, we have evidence, which leaves them with two choices – they can go public with their findings before we have the chance to do so, in which case, we will no longer be liabilities to them, or they can agree to meet a list of demands."

What he was saying made sense, but Jack didn't look convinced. "That sounds good in theory," he agreed, and Kate could feel the but coming, "but what's to stop everything from going back to the way it is now once they have them back?"

Sayid smiled, the broad smile that always told them he'd already factored this into his plan. "We make a copy for each of the survivors before we return them. If anything happens to one of us, we agree to alert media."

A slow smile crept over Jack's face, and Kate found that she was grinning to, until it occurred to them that this might not be possible. Did they really think that Hanso was going to leave all those books in a warehouse somewhere, where anyone could find them? It was extortion waiting to happen. "What if he destroyed them all?"

"It's possible," Sayid allowed, sobering as he considered this, "but if the book is as important as everyone says, I'm willing to bet that Troup had a back up plan."

* * *

Next chapter: More conspiring... and Coming Up: Scotland! ;) 


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for the reviews and for the PMs. :) After taking a few days off (and seeing the new trailer!), I feel a lot better, and pretty much back to my old self. Barring a skaby (which Kristin seems willing to bet on), I can't wait for season 4. I've decided not to change directions for the "Oceanic 6" since, as some of you guessed, I was already planning to include Desmond in an upcoming chapter... ;)

* * *

Chapter 14. Thomas Mittelwerk

"Couldn't we just go to Hanso and tell him what we know?" Jack asked, his voice wrought with frustration; he just wanted it to be over, they both did, so that they could go home to their son.

"Perhaps, but Hanso has been missing since 2002," Sayid confessed, and Jack let out an audible sigh, dropping his face into his hands.

"So who was it that rescued us?" he asked, and instinctively, Kate reached over to rub between his shoulder blades. He sounded so tired and resigned to the fact that he would never be part of their lives that she wanted to wrap him in her arms and comfort him, like she would J.J., but it wasn't the time or the place.

"Thomas Mittelwerk. Hanso's successor – president and chief technologist of the Hanso Foundation until Hanso's disappearance," Sayid told them with an air of contempt, and Kate could tell that he'd already come to his own conclusions about this.

"You think he killed Hanso?" she pressed, curious, and he gave her a tight, humourless smile.

"I think he's the only one who knows what happened to him," he agreed, as if he hadn't decided whether it made more sense for Mittelwerk to kill his mentor, or turn him into his puppet.

"So I'm guessing he's not someone we wanna drop in on?" she guessed, and he nodded.

"The foundation was always corrupt, but in the past five years, it's gotten worse. There're rumours that in order to unbalance the equation, Mittelwerk ordered the creation of a genetically targeted retrovirus, designed to control the population by wiping out a small percentage."

When Jack lifted his head, alarmed, and Sayid saw the panic in Kate's expression, he added, "To my knowledge, it's just speculation. The technician I spoke to wasn't convinced that such a thing could be possible, much less exist – at least not for another ten years."

Ten years. J.J. would be ten. What if he was in that percentage?

How could anyone decide something like that?

Unsatisfied with Sayid's assurance, which she knew was meant to placate her, Kate looked to Jack for the truth, but he just shrugged.

"It sounds a little far-fetched, but it really isn't my area," he agreed, and she let her hand slide to her lap, blinking back tears as she stared at the picture in front of her.

"Hey, let's just take it one step at a time," Jack murmured, lifting her chin, and when she glanced back at Sayid, he gave them a curious look, but didn't seem to think that it was any of his business.

They stayed in the pub until closing, when they were forced to move outside, hovering on the corner as they said their goodbyes.

"How do we contact you?" Jack asked as he and Sayid shook hands, and Sayid glanced over at Kate, looking thoughtful.

"When you get back to the U.S., set up a free email account using a false name and send me the address," he told her, scribbling down a quick note of his own, almost as if he were trusting her to handle the subterfuge.

Retroviruses might not be any of their area of expertise, but if anything, that was hers.

She nodded, and he hugged her, clasping her hand and pressing it into her palm as he pulled back.

"Good luck," he said, his eyes flicking over to take in Jack as he let her go. "And be careful. If they learn that any of us have spoken…" He didn't elaborate, leaving the threat hanging silent in the air, but seeing the fear that passed through his eyes, Kate wondered if he'd seen what would happen first hand. Or been responsible for it.

"We will," she agreed, forcing a smile, and as he turned to cross the street, he added with a knowing look at each of them, "By the way, I never got the chance to tell you – congratulations."

Exchanging abashed glances with Jack, like teenagers caught out with a crush, Kate wondered if it was that obvious to everyone. No wonder the people from the Hanso Foundation were so defensive; she hadn't fooled anyone by pretending to cut Jack out of her life, not when the proof was right there in L.A.

Once Sayid had disappeared into the night, Jack stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, turning his attention on her. "So I guess you'll be heading out too then," he said, sounding rueful, and her heart broke a little for him.

It was clear that he wanted her to stay in Berlin, where they could be together without anyone bothering them; it wasn't fair that she had her father and J.J. to go home to, while his life consisted of an empty apartment and a job that no longer seemed to satisfy him.

"Come on," he went on when she didn't answer, shifting a hand to the small of her back, and starting back towards the car. "We'll go get your stuff, then I'll take you to the train station like I promised."

After hearing what Sayid said about the virus, and seeing the fear in his eyes at what could happen to them if they continued down this road, part of her wanted, more nothing more than to go home and hold her son, and forget the whole thing, but she couldn't stand to see him look so defeated. She knew that if she left him again, it would be for the last time.

"That's it? What about the books?" she asked, and he stopped, giving her a sad smile.

"It was a nice try, but it's a needle in a haystack, Kate – we don't even know where to look."

"So let's find Hanso. Maybe if he takes over again, they'll leave us alone," she insisted, and the corners of his mouth quirked as he brought his free hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her in close and kissing the top of her head.

"It's over," he told her, without letting go, and she heard the quiver in his voice as he tried not to break down. "I thought we could do this, but whatever it is, it's bigger than all of us. I can't let them hurt you _or_ J.J. That's why you have to go back. We can just pretend it never happened."

"All we've done for the last three years is pretend, and nothing changes," she argued, lifting her head so that he could see how determined she was. She wasn't going to let him give up. Not again. "It's not over 'til we're out of options, and last time I checked, we had two. Sayid said Penny Widmore's father knew Hanso – I think we should go to Scotland."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack and Kate fly to Scotland... ;) 


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks for the reviews, _especially_ for the last chapter of "Hide and Seek". I was beginning to think I'd lost whatever attracted people to my writing, but I guess it was nothing personal, just the holidays. :) I'm working on another update, so expect it in the next few days, but until then, you'll have to made do with an extra long chapter of "Going Back". It has been two weeks, so I thought I really should post something so no one thinks I've abandoned it... ;)

* * *

Chapter 15. Daniel 

There were no trains running from Berlin to Edinburgh since Scotland wasn't part of the mainland; after dismissing the idea of taking a bus to the coast, and crossing the ocean by boat, as too time consuming, they decided that their only option was to fly.

Going into a small, quiet travel agency early the next morning, they managed to bribe the girl on shift into letting them buy tickets for cash, without providing their real names; better she think that they were having an affair than that the people from Hanso find out that they were leading a rebellion against them.

It didn't hurt that she seemed to find Jack attractive; watching him turn on the charm, leaning close to whisper something conspiratorial, knowing that there could come a time when she was forced to let him go, Kate couldn't help feeling an irrational stab of jealousy. Any other woman on the planet was free to be with him, but because of who she was, what they'd done, she was the only one to whom these unfair rules applied.

They had checked out of the hotel before leaving that morning, so once the girl had entered the false information (they were travelling as a married couple, the irony not lost on Kate), and handed over their tickets, they headed straight for the airport to catch their flight to Glasgow.

Just as Kate had imagined, the take off was less unsettling with Jack's palm pressed against hers, his voice whispering the numbers into her ear like he had so many times in her mind ("Ready? One… two… three… four… five…"), making her smile despite of herself.

Once they were in the air, she freed herself from her seatbelt and curled against him, tucking her head under his chin, the shape of his body so comfortable and familiar that she found herself falling asleep.

She woke two hours later to the gentle pull of him snugging the belt into place across her lap; he smiled when he saw that she was no longer asleep, pausing just long enough to place a tender kiss against her lips.

The landing was more turbulent than she remembered, the sharp decline sending her mind reeling back to the moments before the crash; she reached for his hand on instinct, and he pulled her in as close as their seat belts would allow, holding onto her until the plane came to a stop.

"You okay?" he asked her as they waited for the other passengers to file out, and she fixed him with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah," she agreed, only half joking when she added, "I think my life just flashed before my eyes."

"It gets better," he assured her, kissing the top of her head, and using the hand still trapped inside his to propel her to her feet. "Besides, you know what they say about lightening," he finished with a wry smile.

"I guess you're living proof of that," she said, remembering what he'd confessed to her at the airport as he let go of her to rescue their hand luggage from the overhead compartment.

Desmond was living further north, in the city of Aberdeen, so they caught a train out to the coast, where their eyes were met with prehistoric villages, Victorian era architecture, and parks and gardens filled with millions of roses, daffodils and crocuses.

It was exactly how Kate had always envisioned Scotland, minus the lochs and emerald green hills; as Jack parked in front of a grey granite building, cordoned off by a dark fence, and neatly trimmed hedge, she found herself wishing that she and Jack had chosen to follow his lead and run off to somewhere equally remote and beautiful.

When Desmond saw them standing on his doorstep, he almost slammed the door in their faces, but Jack caught it with the toe of his shoe.

"Where're you doing here? Did you not hear those men?" Desmond asked, gaping at each of them in turn, and for a moment Kate was reminded of the wild-eyed man they'd met in the Hatch.

"We just wanna ask you a couple of questions," Jack assured him, and after muttering to himself in silent debate, Desmond stepped back to admit them with a sigh.

"I know I'm gunna regret this, but I suppose it's the least I can do," he agreed as a boy, no more than two years old, and wearing only a diaper, scurried into the hall behind him, peering up at them with a shy smile.

"David!" an exasperated voice called after him, and a few seconds later a blonde woman appeared, stopping when she saw that they had company. "Oh hello, are you friends of Des's?" she asked in a well-to-do English accent, catching the toddler up in her arms, and positioning him on her hip so that he couldn't escape her again.

This must be Penny, Kate thought, matching her face to the picture Desmond had carried on the island.

With no choice other than to introduce them, Desmond sighed again. "Pen, this is the doctor I was telling you about – the one who got us all rescued – Jack, and Kate, from the island as well," he explained and she acknowledged them with a warm smile.

"It's very nice to meet you. I wish I'd known that you were coming – I feel like I owe you a thank you of some sort."

Jack shifted with discomfort beside her; Kate knew that he had stopped feeling like a hero the moment the cost of his actions became clear. She was relieved when Desmond broke the tension by continuing, "This is my wife, Penny—" he grinned at her "—and our son, David."

As he gave the child's hair an affectionate scruff, Kate caught Jack eying them with a wistful look, as if he wished he could trade places with him. Finding his hand, she squeezed it; this seemed to snap him out of his trance, reminding him of why there were there.

"I'm glad you're here – you might be able to help us," he told Penny, and she nodded.

"Of course," she agreed, glancing back at him with a puzzled look as she led them into the living room, setting David amidst a pile of small plastic toys, like J.J.'s, Kate noted with a pang. "Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked, straightening up once he was occupied. "Coffee, tea, no beer, I'm afraid – Des has sworn off."

Jack exchanged a look with Kate as he perched on the edge of the sofa beside her. "We're fine," he assured her, speaking for both of them.

He waited until Penny was seated, Desmond hovering behind her as if preparing his escape, to get down to business, cutting straight to the chase without preamble. "We were wondering if you could tell us anything about a business associate of your father's – Alvar Hanso."

The smile disappeared from Penny's face, replaced with shock, and Kate found herself tensing as she asked, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just… I haven't heard that name in a while," she explained, and Kate felt Jack relax along with her.

"So you know him?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Brilliant man, a little reserved, but nice – I think he gave me a doll once," she agreed, cocking her head to one side as she thought back. "Shame what happened to him, really – he was one of the few men my father worked with that I could actually stand."

Jack opened his mouth to get her to elaborate on this, but before he could, Desmond had shifted around to her side, placing a hand on her shoulder in a protective stance. "There, you got what you came for. She hasn't seen the man in years – no one has," he assured them, and when Jack pushed himself to his feet, Kate was afraid that they were going to come to blows, one trying to protect his happiness, the other to secure it, but excusing them both, Jack drew him aside, into the kitchen.

From where she was sitting, Kate could just make out them out, watching as, saying something in a low voice, Jack slid a crumpled square of paper from his wallet, studying it with the same wistful look he'd given David before handing it over. Desmond's features softened as he forced himself to see whatever Jack was showing him, and for a moment, Kate wondered what she was missing, until she realised that it was the exact size and shape of the picture she'd left his apartment the night he'd tried to kill himself.

Tearing his eyes from J.J.'s face, which Kate knew must look almost accusing in its likeness to Jack's, Desmond shoved it back into his palm, all the fight going out of him as he nodded. He waited until Jack had tucked it carefully into its hidden compartment, replacing the wallet in his jeans, before clapping him on the shoulder and leading him back into the living room.

Pretending not to have seen what transpired between the two men as Jack continued his questioning, Penny about her father's involvement with Hanso (of which she knew very little) and Desmond's about his with D.H.A.R.M.A (of which he knew a surprising amount, but nothing useful), Kate couldn't help wondering why he never talked to her about what he was feeling. She felt as shut out of his life as he did of J.J.'s; searching for something that she might have missed, it occurred to her that she could count the number of conversations they'd had about him since the day she'd failed to bring him to the hospital on one hand. It was like he was trying to forget that he was his son too.

"Well that was fun," he said, trying to sound glib, when the door closed behind them an hour later. Penny had invited them to stay for dinner, but Jack had convinced her that they had reservations somewhere, both of them aware that while it was nothing personal, Desmond would be relieved to see them gone. He had his own family to protect, just as they had theirs. "Thirty years as a Widmore and I think we got more out of Sayid."

He slung an arm across her shoulders, leading the way back to their rental. "What d'you say I take you somewhere nice for dinner, and we talk about going to Korea?" he said, and she knew that he was doing his best to keep from losing heart again after the speech she'd given him the night before. It was like they'd traded places.

"Now _that_ sounds fun," she agreed, letting her head fall against his until they separated at the curb, determined not to bring him down by mentioning the picture. There would be plenty of time to ask him about it when he wasn't in such a good mood.

Her cell went off as he unlocked the doors, so while he reached into the back for the brochures they'd collected at the train station, she tugged it out of her pocket, her stomach tightening when she saw her father's name. She hadn't called him that morning for fear of him thinking that she didn't trust him: what if something was wrong?

"What about seafood?" Jack asked, scanning one of the brochures, "There're a couple of places down by the water," but she wasn't listening as she snapped it open, forcing out a shaky, "Hello?"

Her heart leapt to her throat when she realised that the voice that greeted her wasn't her father's. "Katherine," it said, and she felt her knees go weak.

"Who are you?" she demanded, "What're you doing with my father's phone?" and Jack glanced up at her, as pale as she felt, all hope of a pleasant evening gone from both their minds.

"My name is Daniel – Daniel Hill. You probably don't remember, but we met once, when you were very young," the voice explained and as she tried to determine whether or not this was a lie, she flashed back on a picture taken during her father's Ranger days. "Sam asked me to call you if anything happened to him."

All of the relief of realising that he wasn't one of them rushed out of her, along with the air from her lungs, as he confirmed her worst fear. If those were her father's instructions, then that meant…

"Where is he?" she whispered, feeling helpless, a day away, on the other side of the world, unsure whether she was still talking about her father, or J.J., who she knew was the real target.

There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line, as if her father's friend was trying to figure out how best to sanitise the truth. "He's in the hospital, in the I.C.U," he told her, and she felt her heart shatter into a thousand jagged pieces as she managed to fill in the blanks.

He was there because of her, because she hadn't listened, because she'd refused to let Jack go. He was in hospital, and their son… The nightmare about the glass box slipped back into her mind, and she closed her eyes, the ache in her chest too raw to allow her the refuge of tears.

It took her a moment to realise that Daniel hadn't hung up. "Those people you and your boyfriend are running from?" he said, causing her to jump, startled at the sound of his voice in her ear after almost convincing herself that she was alone. "Looks like they found you."

* * *

Next chapter: More on what's been happening on the homefront and J.J.'s whereabouts (Review and you'll get the answer tomorrow!)... ;) 


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for the reviews. Poor J.J. -- seems like not a lot of people care what happens to him! But I promised Radical Rachel I would update, so since I already had it written... ;)

* * *

Chapter 16. You Can

As she tried to come to terms with what Daniel was telling her, Kate found her mind travelling back in time, to the day J.J. was born. She couldn't remember feeling exhaustion as acute as she had after twelve hours of labour; a thirteenth of actually giving birth; but as tired as she was, she wouldn't let them take him from her, to put him in the nursery with the other babies, because she knew in her heart that if she did, when she came for him, he would be gone. She was always so careful, so protective and concerned: how could she let something like this happen to him?

"My baby… Jack," she said, using his real name for the first time since she'd announced it to her father, almost as soon as the doctor placed him into her arms. "Is he…? Did they…?" Her throat closed up, and she couldn't get the rest of the words out: all she could think was that she didn't have a baby anymore; she wasn't a mother; she wasn't anything, not if it was really over.

"He's fine, Katherine," Daniel assured her, and she almost didn't hear him over the sound of her own grief. "He's at home with my wife."

"How?" Some of the pressure eased off her lungs and she found that she could breathe again, until she remembered her father, lying in a hospital bed in L.A. He had to be the reason her son was safe; he'd kept his promise by taking the best possible care of him, making sure that she got him back exactly the way she'd left him.

"The men who attacked Sam came to the door pretending they were collecting for the church," Daniel explained. "He knew right away, of course, but he played along – said he was going to get his wallet, so he could hide your son, and call me. By the time I got there, he was unconscious – they tortured him, but he never gave in. Looks like he managed to convince them that someone else was taking care of him.

"I found your son behind a pile of boxes in the attic. They never knew he was there. Guess they didn't bank on Sam being an ex-ranger."

At his words, Kate felt a surge of pride. She'd asked him to do one thing for her, to protect her child, and he hadn't let her down. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, realising that all she knew was that he'd been tortured, and that he was in hospital. It wasn't much to go on. "I mean, what's his condition?"

"He's still listed as critical," Daniel confessed, and she felt her eyes tear up again as the sliver of hope that it wasn't as bad as it sounded slipped away, "but the doctors think he has a pretty good chance. He's a fighter, Katherine – you of all people should know that."

There wasn't much else to say, so she thanked him, assuring him that she'd be home as soon as she could, but as she moved to hang up, she realised that if their pursuers had posed as charity collectors for her father, they wouldn't have any qualms about pretending to be a friend of her father's if they thought it would get them J.J. Or her.

"Wait, how do I know this isn't a trap?" she insisted before he could sever the connection either, and to her surprise, he let out a soft chuckle.

"You father said you might ask that," he said. "That's why he told me to tell you that he didn't call the police."

"What?" she asked, wondering if this was a clear sign that she shouldn't trust him. "I thought he was unconscious when you got there?"

"He was," Daniel agreed, grave now. "But when he asked me to call, he told me to tell you that the day you came to say goodbye, he didn't call the police. He said you'd understand."

She wasn't sure that she did, after all of the speeches he'd given her on civic duty, or why in all the time they'd been living under the same roof, he'd never felt the need to clear up this point, but she thanked him again, and ended the call.

She was still staring at the phone a moment later when she realised that Jack was still in the car, waiting for her to explain.

"What happened? J.J…" he began, sounding breathless and as panicked as she had, but she shook her head until she could gather her thoughts.

"He's safe – he's with friends," she agreed when she recovered her voice, and Jack slumped back against the headrest, closing his eyes and massaging his brow in relief.

"But your dad…?" he asked when they snapped open a few seconds later, remembering Sam.

"He's not doing so well," she confessed, the emotions she'd tried to suppress during her conversation with Daniel bubbling back to the surface, and he reached across the console for her.

"He could die, Jack," she whispered as he gathered her into his arms, cupping the side of her face in his palm as her head came to rest against his shoulder. She could feel the gearshift sticking into her side, but she didn't care; it felt good to be comforted by him again. His strength was one of the things she'd missed most.

"He did a good thing," he told her, stroking her hair as she clung tighter to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "He saved our son. Whatever happens, I think you know he wouldn't change it, just like you wouldn't, if it was you."

"But that doesn't make it fair," she insisted, and at that moment, it struck her that of all the people she knew, he was probably one of the few who would understand.

"It never is," he agreed, bringing his lips down to brush the top of her head. That was it; he didn't try to justify it, to offer a silver lining, and for that, she was glad.

"Come on," he said, after a long moment, pulling away from her. "Let's go find a flight home."

It wasn't until he'd set the car in motion that his words sank in fully, and it occurred to her that he intended to fly back with her. "You mean for both of us?" she asked, and he gave her a look that said she must be more grief-stricken than he'd thought.

"Of course," he said, turning to her as he stopped at the intersection at the end of Desmond's street. "Where else would I go?"

It didn't matter if they were seen together now that their game was up, but as he said it, she realised that she couldn't let him do it: if they gave up now, after everything they'd been through, then it was all for nothing. "Korea, just like you said," she told him softly.

"I can't," he said, lifting his hand to brush her cheek with his knuckles, even though she knew it hurt him to let go of the hope that they would all be together some day soon, "not when you need me."

"Yes, you can," she argued, fresh tears springing to her eyes, this time, of indignation. She couldn't stand by while they took away everything that mattered to her: her father, J.J., Jack. It had to end, and soon. "You can. One of us has to keep going – we have to take those bastards down so that they can never hurt any of us ever again."

* * *

Next chapter: Kate goes home to L.A., Jack continues on to Korea, and they get a new little helper on their quest... (Review and I won't kill Sam! Not that that ever works...) ;) 


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for the reviews. Has anyone been reading the spoilers for 4.04 Eggtown :( They're getting really depressing. Not at all what we hoped. I swear sometimes I like writing about these characters more than I like watching them.

Oh, and I was kidding last time: Sam's fate was decided back at the beginning... ;)

* * *

Chapter 17. A Team 

For a brief moment, as she stepped out of his embrace and into the tunnel that would take her to the plane, Kate considered telling Jack that she'd changed her mind, that she wanted him to come with her, but something urged her to hold back.

After seeing the aftermath of their decision, it would be too easy for them to slip back into the routines they'd had before: her with school and J.J., and now, caring for her father, and him with his job at the hospital and his addiction. Once things settled down, he would phase himself out of the picture, so that before long, it would be as if he'd never come back into her life.

But she knew that that wasn't the only way she could lose him; as she turned in time to watch him fade into the crowd, part of wondered if she was seeing him for the last time, if the next time her cell rang, it would be the police telling her that he'd ODed in a park somewhere, too overcome with guilt and despair to fight for her or their son.

That thought, more than anything, made her want to go after him, but she had to believe that she could count on him now, when she needed something from him. It was his turn to take care of her, just like he always had, back before any of this started.

The distance was the same, but the flight back to L.A. was lonelier than the one she'd taken out now that she remembered what it was like to hold his hand. Closing her eyes, curling into her blanket, she tried to imagine that it was his arms around her, his voice telling her to stay calm, to keep hope, but even after all this, she didn't manage more than a few hours sleep, her whole body feeling heavy as she trudged off the plane.

During the train ride back to Glasgow, she'd called Daniel back to arrange to pick up J.J at the hospital, so she took a cab straight there, arriving with her luggage still in tow.

One of the nurses directed her to a room at the end of the hall where her father lay pale and still, hooked up to a series of tubes and monitors, and she sank into the chair beside him, unable to take her eyes off the thick, white bandage that covered most of his head.

They'd tortured him, Daniel said, but how? With bamboo and pokers like Sayid, or something more severe, intended not just to main, but to kill? She wondered if the Iraqi could tell her; after all, wasn't this what he did now?

Letting her thoughts wander back to their meeting in Germany, she was filled with a sudden burst of rage as it hit her that she had to have been right about Elsa the first time: she was a mole sent to make sure that Sayid didn't make contact with any of the other survivors because of her resemblance to Shannon. It couldn't be a coincidence that less than twenty-four hours after she'd seen them together, their enemies had made good on their promise by putting her father in hospital.

It hurt to look at him, to know that if it weren't for her, he'd be at home reading the morning paper, or feeding some new gooey concoction to her son. He'd sacrificed everything to keep them from taking him, and now, because of it, he might not even live long enough to take him on his first camping trip, or buy him his first fishing rod, or spend an entire day tracking deer with him like he had her.

She couldn't bring herself to touch him, even to pick up his hand, so she just sat there a few feet away, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, the peaks and inclines of his heart, waiting for a line that was a little too flat, a breath that was a little too long, until she heard a voice behind her.

"He's proud of you, you know."

She started at the sound, turning to see a tall, grey haired man whose face was vaguely familiar standing in the doorway with J.J.; without a word, she was on her feet, sweeping her son into her arms and breathing him in, the sweet scent of his hair, his milky baby breath, clinging to him while he clutched back at her.

"You know yourself, all any parent wants is to know their child is strong enough to take on the world," Daniel continued, crossing his arms and leaning into the doorframe as he watched the reunion with a smile.

He waited until she kissed J.J.'s head and tore her eyes from her son, bouncing him on her hip as she glanced up at him, curious, to add, "The fact that you are… I could see it in his eyes the day he told me what you were doing. He's proud of you. He'd want you to finish it."

It was almost as if he'd read her thoughts, reaffirming Jack's claim that this was how her father would have wanted it, even if he wasn't around to see the outcome. "You really think so?" she asked him, and his smile widened, though she could see the sadness in his expression at the thought of losing an old friend.

"He told me once that he gave up on you too easy. He was a soldier and he took the coward's way out. Helping you now is his way of redeeming himself for not doing what he should have done a long time ago. He wants you to be happy, Kate. Don't let that go to waste."

He didn't seem to expect a response, setting a bag on the floor just inside the room, and acknowledging her with a curt nod before ducking back out into the corridor. While he never said it, in that moment, a silent agreement passed between them: he would take care of her father by keeping vigil if she decided to take his advice.

It was strange to think that someone might know him better than she did; as she dropped back into her chair with J.J. in her lap, she realised that Daniel was right. She told Jack that he couldn't give up before they'd done what they set out to do: why should it be any different for her? He needed her. They were a team.

J.J. babbled something incoherent, wriggling in her grip, and glancing down at him, at the perfect melding of her and Jack's features that greeted her every time she looked at him, it occurred to her that that team didn't just include the two of them anymore. Their son was as much a part of what was happening as either of them, no matter how much she wished that she had the power to shield him from it. By the very fact of his birth, he was involved. She could try, but she couldn't keep him safe, not if she wasn't there to protect him.

Before she could think too much about what she was doing, she shifted J.J. onto her hip, adjusting her father's blankets, and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, before collecting her luggage with her free hand and letting herself out of the room. Daniel wasn't in the hall, so she headed straight for the lift, calling a cab on the way down.

What she saw when she manoeuvred her way in to the house almost made her wish that she hadn't come home: the living room was a mess, the chair where they'd kept her father prisoner tipped on its side, the restraints discarded a few feet away. She could still see his blood staining the carpet.

Swallowing the bile that rose in her throat, she dragged her suitcase up to her room, replacing the dirty clothes with clean ones, and tossing some things in for J.J. before forcing the lid shut.

She would have left then, but as she struggled back down the stairs, her eyes fell on her father's computer, and she found herself thinking about Sayid's instructions. He deserved to know the truth, even if it wasn't something that he wanted to hear.

Depositing her luggage at the foot of the stairs, she booted it up, and settled herself at his desk with J.J. on her lap. Once she'd finished setting up the account, was staring at a blank email with Sayid's address at the top, she wasn't sure what to put, so after a few moments deliberation, she just typed:

"We've been compromised. Someone saw us in Berlin."

It wouldn't take him long to draw the same conclusion that she had, and she wouldn't want to be Elsa when he did. Something told her he wouldn't be all that forgiving of the fact that she'd exploited his pain.

Reading it over a couple of times, she hit send and logged out, opening her own inbox just in case there was something worth noting.

It was mostly junk, but buried amidst all the SPAM and the handful of emails from classmates, there was one from her professor reminding her that the paper she'd tried and failed to complete on the plane was now two days late. She thought about replying, but she didn't know how to explain without relying on the age-old 'family problems' excuse, which she knew he wouldn't accept, so she closed that down too.

"Screw it," she said to J.J., who flashed her a gummy grin in return, deciding that at that moment, school wasn't high on her list of priorities.

Then, shutting down the computer, she gathered their bags, and walked out of the house.

* * *

Next chapter: Kate and J.J. arrive in Korea, Sun and Jin (and Ji Yeon!), and Jack finally gets to spend more time with his son... ;) 


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks, as always, for the reviews. With a couple of exceptions, disinterest in my stories appears to have peaked. (Some of you might have noticed that I've already discontinued the "Picking Up The Pieces" one shots.) It can't just be the time of year, because a lot of other writers seem to have recovered from that, so if you have anything to say that might explain this, I would love to hear from you. For someone who wants to do this for a living, even criticism is welcome feedback, since it will help me to fix whatever I'm doing wrong.

That said, after all the exposition I've been dumping on you recently, this chapter is pretty mythology-lite... ;)

* * *

Chapter 18. A Normal Evening

In her wildest dreams, Kate never thought she would be one of those harried mothers who spent the flight shooting apologetic glances at the people around them, but over the course of the next few hours, she came to understand her father's warning about forcing fussy six month olds to sit still.

For some reason that she couldn't discern, J.J. didn't want to be on the plane; in fact, his mood had been deteriorating since they left the hospital. Each shrill wail made her want to sink further into her seat; by the time they landed in Seoul, she was so embarrassed that it was a relief to slink into a cab and leave all of those piercing stares behind.

To her dismay, Sun and Jin's apartment was in an elaborate skyscraper at the heart of the city: the kind with its own doorman, that Kate hadn't known existed outside of Hollywood movies. She felt conspicuously underdressed in her dark t-shirt and jeans as she scrambled into the lift with a grubby infant perched on her hip; more so when a Korean girl who looked like she could have been a model stuck out a hand to hold the doors for her.

Kate smiled and thanked her in English, but the whole time they were riding up together, all she could think was that she could put J.J. in day care for months on what that dress must have cost her.

Jack must have told them that she was coming, because Sun answered the door before the doorbell had even finished ringing.

"Kate!" she said, throwing her arms around her and pulling her in for an enthusiastic hug. "It's so good to see you."

Her attention shifted to J.J. as they stepped back and she smiled. "And this must be J.J. He's beautiful, Kate. He has his father's eyes." She gave Kate a knowing look, and Kate couldn't help sharing her grin.

"Let's see this little girl of yours," she said as her friend took her luggage and led the way to the living room.

Jack was there with Jin, trailing off in mid-sentence, his eyes widening with surprise when he saw that Kate wasn't alone.

"You didn't tell me you were bringing him," he whispered as he stood to kiss her, but she shot him a look that said 'I'll explain later', and he seemed to decide against forcing the issue.

"Hey, little guy," he murmured instead, mussing their son's hair, and J.J. turned his head to look at him, babbling something that almost sounded like 'Da da'.

"You can put him down with Ji," Sun told them, looking slightly uncomfortable at witnessing such a private moment as she gestured to where a little girl in pigtails was playing on the floor, and the spell broken, Jack took his hand away and returned to his seat.

Glad to give her arms a break, Kate set her son on what she hoped for their friends' sake wasn't an expensive rug, watching as Ji Yeon eyed him with mistrust, scowling when he picked up one of her toys and put it into his mouth. She was obviously spoilt; Kate found herself wondering if, without a brother or sister to teach him how to share, that would be her own child in a few years' time.

"Jack has been telling us what you are doing," Jin said in carefully enunciated English once she was seated on the sofa with Jack, and coming back to the moment, Kate found herself almost speechless at how far his skills had come in such a short time. "If there is anything else we can do to help…"

"We've already told him everything we know about my father's dealings with Alvar Hanso," Sun added with an encouraging smile, and Kate managed a polite smile back, swallowing her disappointment at the subtext.

As far as she could tell, that wasn't much more than they'd gotten from Penny and Desmond, in spite of the fact that she and Jin were still in that world.

"We couldn't let you go to a hotel, so you'll be staying in the guest bedroom with Jack," Sun told her to break the silence, her confidence faltering as she rushed on with a sheepish look, "I hope that's all right," and exchanging a shrug with Jack, Kate nodded.

"That's fine," she agreed, amused by Sun's less than subtle way of confirming the status of their relationship when she clapped her hands together, looking simultaneously relieved and pleased.

"Good. I'll get Jin to move Ji's old crib in after dinner."

Over dinner she explained that if anyone asked, while they were staying with them, Jack was a visiting American language professor helping Jin with his English, and Kate was his wife.

"Why can't I be the professor? I thought you guys were pretty modern," Kate complained, mostly to tease Jack, fixing him with a challenging stare, and he laughed, lifting his hands above his head in mock surrender.

"Hey, wasn't my idea," he assured her, and she found herself laughing too, enjoying what had to have been one of the most normal evening they'd had in a long time.

"If it was up to me, you could be anything you want," he continued sweetly, and she slapped his thigh under the table.

"Suck up," she mouthed, but she squeezed his hand to let him know that she wasn't serious.

"Because then my father would ask why I allowed such a beautiful young woman to be my husband's teacher," Sun explained with a wry grin, and Kate took a sip of her wine to hide her blush.

"Just so long as that's it," she agreed, swatting Jack again, this time in the ribs, when he raised an amused eyebrow at her.

"That's right – other people think I'm beautiful," she reminded him, daring him to disagree.

After dinner, while the men took care of the dishes, she and Sun caught each other up on their lives as they bathed the children side by side, and dressed them in their pyjamas.

It was past J.J.'s usual bedtime by the time they were ready for sleep, but knowing that Jack would be disappointed if she put him down before he got the chance to see him, she let their son play with her on the bed until he came into the room.

"Where's Jin?" she asked, rolling onto her side and pushing herself up on one elbow when he kicked his shoes off and sat on the end of the bed, noting for the first time how quiet the rest of the apartment was.

"Sun made him go to bed early – I think she wanted to give us some time alone," he explained, and Kate made mental note to thank her friend later.

"And what exactly did she think was gonna happen?" she teased him with a coy nod at the pink wooden crib Jin had moved in for their son.

It was a good thing he was too young to care about these things, she decided, or else she'd never get him to sleep there.

"Not that," he agreed, glancing at J.J. with a look of horror. "I think she just wanted to give us some space."

He crawled up onto the mattress beside her, mirroring her position so that they were facing each other with J.J. between them.

"I know I probably shouldn't've brought him—" she began, feeling the need to justify her decision to him now that they were alone, but he silenced her with a kiss.

"It's okay," he agreed, stroking her jaw with his thumb when he pulled back. "I know what you were thinking – he's as safe here as anywhere else."

"Safer, because I know you'd die before you let them hurt him," she told him, and he smiled, kissing her again.

"I'd die before I let them hurt either of you."

A comfortable silence fell over them as they both turned to watch him, sitting up with one of his toys in the middle of the bed.

"Hey, is that…?" Jack asked when he registered what it was.

"Yeah," she agreed softly as J.J. continued to suck on the ear of his bear. "I haven't been able to get it away from him."

"Do you think he knows where it came from?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her, sounding hopeful, though they were both aware that this was next to impossible. He probably just liked the taste or the texture or something.

"I don't know," she told him truthfully, and he looked disappointed, until she added, "But it was the only thing that could get him to stop crying on the plane."

This seemed to be enough for him for now; with a faint smile, he got up to turn out the light, and after kissing him, and each other, goodnight, that was how they fell asleep: side by side with their son nestled between them.

* * *

For anyone who hasn't heard, Ji Yeon is the official name of Sun and Jin's daughter in the flashforwards. ;)

Next chapter(s): The two familes spend more time together, and Jack and Kate come up with a new plan... ;)


	19. Chapter 19

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed (That goes for both fics). You have no idea how much I appreciate you coming through for me like that. :) I'm not so unrealistic as to think that everyone will have time to comment on every chapter (especially at the rate I write!), but when reviews dropped by almost two thirds, and I found myself getting 3 reviews out of more than 150 hits... You can imagine how insecure that made me, especially when so many of you have expressed concern over how depressing both fics are at times.

I haven't had time to finish another chapter of Hide And Seek, so since most of you appear to be reading both, this should be the next best thing. Don't forget to let me know if you want to see any more Picking Up The Pieces one shots (and in particular, which missing pieces you'd like me to address)... ;)

* * *

Chapter 19. Making Up For Lost Time 

The last thing Kate remembered was drifting off with J.J. curled into her chest, grasping her shirt, Jack spooned protectively against his other side, so she was surprised to find herself alone when she opened her eyes the next morning.

Throwing on some clean clothes, she hurried down the hall to the living room, stopping, the breath catching in her throat, when she spotted them before they saw her.

They were sitting on the floor, Jack's long legs stretched out on either side of their son; bracing her shoulder against doorframe, she watched J.J. mimic him by adding another block to the wall they were building, laughing and clapping his hands when Jack knocked it down.

It wasn't until he started to gather them up again that Jack noticed her presence, glancing up at her with a sheepish grin. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied, straightening, fighting the tide of emotions she felt on seeing them together after so long. "You're up early."

"Yeah, well, I figured you don't get the chance to sleep in very often," he agreed with a shrug as he swept the blocks back into the centre, ready to start over again, but while he tried to sound like it was no big deal, she knew that his motive wasn't really that selfless.

"You wanna give him breakfast?" she asked as consolation for the fact that she'd woken up sooner than he expected, surprised when he explained that he already had.

He must have caught her stunned look, because he added in a rush, "I hope you don't mind. Granted, I don't have a lot of experience, but I did a paediatrics rotation final year of med school, so I think I have the basics covered."

As far as she could tell, he'd already managed to get J.J. up, fed and dressed for the day, all before eight o'clock, which was more than she was capable of a few months ago.

"Of course I don't mind, Jack – he's _your_ son," she agreed, doing her best to ignore the first stirrings of jealousy as it occurred to her that with Jack around, J.J. didn't need her as much as he once had. He was as much Jack's as he was hers, even if he hadn't been in the picture as long; it wasn't fair for her to resent him for wanting to be more involved.

He relaxed visibly when she forced a smile for his benefit, the tension leaving his shoulders as he returned to laying the foundations of the wall; with nothing left to do except enjoy the rare morning off, Kate drifted into the kitchen to find Sun.

She was cleaning up after breakfast, Ji Yeon swinging her legs under the table and singing to herself in Korean as she nibbled on a slice of toast.

"Jin at work?" Kate asked, running her fingers through one of the little girl's pigtails as she passed, to greet her, plonking herself onto a stool at the bench while her friend put on a pot of coffee.

"He usually leaves around seven," Sun explained, turning back to her while they waited for it to boil.

There was a smile on her face that Kate had never seen before. "What?" she asked, glancing back over her shoulder, until she realised that Sun had a clear view of Jack and J.J. from where she was standing.

"I always knew Jack would make a good father," her friend said, watching him show J.J. where to position the next block. "He's so patient and kind."

"You mean you've thought about him that way?" Kate asked, returning her attention to Sun in time to see her lift one of her thin eyebrows almost imperceptibly.

"You haven't?" she asked in a tone that implied she found that hard to believe. "You're the one who was interested in him."

"When I got pregnant, sure," Kate agreed, averting her eyes to the marble countertop, unwilling to admit that she'd entertained the idea long before that, maybe as far back as when she was grappling with the idea of having Sawyer's baby. "But things were so complicated by then…"

Sun put a hand over hers, smiling when she glanced up at her. "No one's judging you, believe me," she said, and Kate knew that they were both thinking of the day on the beach when she pleaded with her not to tell Jin she was pregnant. "I would have done the same thing.

"He seems to be making up for it now," she continued, returning to their former topic, sneaking another peak into the living room as she poured the coffee into a mug and handed it to Kate. "You should have seen him this morning, when I got up. He was feeding him mashed bananas from one of those jars you brought – he still hasn't mastered getting him to open up, but he was doing better than Jin."

She laughed, taking a sip of her own drink, and imagining Jack sitting with their son in his lap, wiping down his chin after he refused to open his mouth, Kate found that she was strangely turned on. In spite of how territorial she felt over J.J., there was something about seeing Jack play daddy that made her want him even more.

"He _is_ a good father," she said, half to herself, as she watched the wall crumble again, this time after J.J. put his foot through it.

For reasons that would forever remain a mystery to her, he seemed to find this hysterical. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him have so much fun. Either of them.

"Guess I'd better get back out there," she told Sun, sliding off the stool, and filling a second mug for Jack, suddenly wanting nothing more than to join the men she loved.

"So how does this game work?" she asked, dusting her hands off on her jeans, and sinking cross-legged onto the rug once she'd set their drinks on the coffee table.

"It's not really a game," Jack confessed, leaning away from J.J. to take a careful sip. "It's more like a lesson in cause and effect."

He demonstrated by taking J.J.'s hand, and helping him stack a second block on top of the one he'd already put out for him. "See, cause."

He waited until J.J. added a third on his own before sending it crashing down with a flick of his finger. "And effect."

J.J. watched it intently, giggling when it was over.

"I read somewhere that children his age like discovering they can make things happen. It makes them feel like they have some control," Jack explained with a shrug as their son retrieved one of the blocks, bashing it against the rug in his excitement.

He slammed it down in front of Kate, clapping his hands together in anticipation of what he knew by now was coming, and deciding that this was his way of including her, she shot Jack a questioning look.

"Go ahead, Mommy," he told her with a grin, handing her a block, and as she placed it on top of their son's, waiting for Jack to take his turn, she found that she was grinning too.

* * *

Next chapter: There're two ways I can go with this, I can write a few more chapters like this one, with Jack, Kate and J.J. working on being a family, or I can move on to the next stage in their plan, which involves another trip to Sydney (and the appearance of another Lostie)... ;) 


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for the reviews. :) Since the general consensus is that most people want more bonding chapters, I'm going to hold off on the mythology for a while... ;)

* * *

Chapter 20. One Day 

"I noticed you didn't bring much stuff for J.J.," Jack said without glancing up as they packed the blocks back into their container, but while the comment itself was innocent enough, Kate couldn't wondering what he was really asking.

"That's because he doesn't have much," she explained before he could get it into his head that she was only planning on staying for a couple of days. "He grows so fast… It makes more sense for me to keep washing what he has while it fits – that way I can afford to buy him new clothes when he needs them."

She said it matter-of-factly, but watching him slide the last block from between J.J.'s gums, she could see his sorrow at the thought of him growing up like that when could give him a more comfortable life. Both of them.

"That might've worked back home, but if he's gonna stay with us, he's gonna need a few more things, in case we can't get to a washing machine for a while," he insisted, and she assumed it was his roundabout way of offering to help her until he went on, "Let me take him out shopping, okay? You too."

She knew she should be grateful that he was determined to do the right thing by them, but somehow, she couldn't help feeling offended by his assumption that could provide for their child better than she could. "You don't have to do that," she told him, hoping he would back down, but he didn't.

"_Yes_, I do," he argued, locking eyes with her.

"Jack…" she said, deciding to try a different tactic. They shouldn't be out in public together anyway. It was too dangerous. "After what happened in Berlin, I just think we should lay low – stick close to the apartment."

She realised it was the wrong thing to say when he jumped to his feet. "I'm sick of all this spy crap," he cried, cringing when J.J. let out a soft whimper. "I just wanna take my son out."

Glancing through into the kitchen, where Sun was showing Ji Yeon how to make cookies, she saw that her friend has stopped what she was doing to watch them, turning away quickly when she caught Kate's eyes.

"And you will," Kate assured him, lowering her voice as she stood, lifting J.J. onto her hip, "Just as soon as it's safe."

She expected him to launch into another tirade, but to her surprise, he held his arms out for their son. She wasn't sure what he wanted her to do, so she handed him over, watching as he brought him to his shoulder, rocking them gently, an affectionate smile alighting his features as they both began to settle.

He looked like he'd forgotten that she was still there; it was such an intimate moment between them that she almost felt guilty for witnessing it.

"Please, Kate," he said once J.J. was drowsing against him, sounding almost desperate as he met her eyes again. "Just let me have this one day."

"Okay," she agreed softly, unable to stand his pain. "Sure. Just let me get my purse."

* * *

When they went into the kitchen to fill her in on their plans, Sun gave them directions to Dongdaemun, the largest shopping district in Seoul, and Korea. There, she explained, they would find Western-style malls, department stores and specialty shops, selling everything from clothes to electronics, as well as more traditional markets. 

In spite of his assurances that their son would be safe, Jack insisted on keeping him close, so Sun gave them her old baby carrier, and with J.J. strapped securely to his chest, they set off into the city on foot.

"You realise we never had that date I promised you in Scotland?" he pointed out as they walked hand in hand along the busy street, which would have reminded her of New York, if it wasn't for the centuries old temples and pagodas tucked between high rises.

"I guess we're having it now – even if we had to go all the way to Asia to do it," she agreed with a grin, amused by the thought of taking their six-month-old son along on their first real date.

"You ever think about how strange our lives are compared to most people's?" she asked him, and he laughed, letting go of her hand to slide his arm around her.

"All the time. But at least we get to see the world – that's something," he told her as she settled in closer, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. A couple of years ago, I was sure I was never leaving Iowa – now I've been to seven countries on four different continents, and that's not even counting the island."

She still wasn't comfortable with the idea of Jack buying her anything, so they spent what was left of the morning picking out clothing for J.J., coaxing him into holding still long enough for them to try them on. Most of these were practical items: t-shirts and jeans and overalls, but she couldn't resist getting him fitted out for one of the traditional outfits they were selling at the markets as a souvenir of his first overseas vacation.

"You realise he's gonna hate you for that one day?" Jack said, laughing, when she whipped her phone out to take a picture of him.

He didn't put up a protest, but she could see that he was getting grouchy, as if knew that it was an affront to his dignity.

"Only when I show it to all his girlfriends," she agreed happily as she put the phone away, and kissed the top of his head.

They celebrated their first meal together by eating lunch at a traditional restaurant, then, after buying J.J. a few small toys (including some blocks of his own) from the toy store, so that he would have something to share with Ji Yeon, they took him to the park.

Sitting on a bench with the bags, watching Jack mess around with him in the sandbox, showing him how to scoop the sand up, and let it trickle back out through his fingers, Kate couldn't help feeling like he really was trying to pack everything into one day, in case he never got another. It was all too idyllic, too perfect.

Sun was on her way out when they met her at the door, shepherding Ji Yeon into the hall, both of them dressed up for the evening. "We're having dinner with my parents tonight, so you'll have the apartment to yourselves," she explained with a pleasant smile, waiting until Jack took J.J. and the bags into the bedroom to add, "You can pay me back by babysitting tomorrow night. Jin and I hardly ever get any time alone – you'll see."

"I don't think I've ever told you what a great friend you are," Kate said by way of a thank you, grinning as she watched them get into the lift, before closing the door.

* * *

Next chapter: A night alone, and Coming Up: Babysitting... ;) 


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for the reviews. :) I'm not sure if anyone's missed me, but my absence over the past few days has been a combination of getting hooked on Invasion and being fairly upset about the new Eggtown spoilers. I was on the verge of writing a very bitter, very angry Jack-centric one shot but after a mammoth discussion with SassyLostie (We talked for exactly 8 hours and 15 minutes, which we're very proud of! I know, we have no lives!) I realised that anything else was just wishful thinking... ;)

* * *

Chapter 21. Later

Closing the door behind her, the first thing Kate noticed was her son's hysterical chuckles echoing through the apartment.

Curious as to the cause of it, she crept down the hall to the guest room, where Jack was undressing him on a towel on the bed, blowing on his bare stomach to keep him amused.

"You like that, don't you?" she heard him say, lowering his head to do it again, and J.J. shrieked with laughter, rocking and gripping his toes as Jack slid the diaper out from underneath him.

He seemed to like it too, at least, the reaction he was getting; he was still grinning as he hoisted him up off the bed, his expression turning sheepish when he saw that she'd witnessed the whole thing.

"What're you smiling at?" he asked, feigning nonchalance as he shifted their son onto his hip, and her own smile grew.

"Nothing," she told him, leaning back so that she was hugging the doorframe. "Just… you."

Suddenly, for the first time in a long time, she was deliriously happy, her happiness increasing when instead of continuing past her, he stopped, bringing his hand up to her cheek and closing the gap between them.

"Later," he murmured when they broke from each other, and he didn't have to say anymore because they were both grinning like love-starved teenagers.

"Later," she agreed, filling the word with the same promise as she pulled him back down to kiss him again.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked her when she released him, steering the conversation onto safer things, and as she followed him out of the bedroom, she couldn't resist teasing him by countering, "Why? Are you gonna cook for us Jack?"

Realising that she'd backed him into a corner, he laughed, scratching his head with his free hand. "Actually," he explained, seemingly embarrassed that that wasn't what he'd meant, "I was thinking we could make it together."

There was something about the everyday domesticity of it that made her jump at the suggestion. "Okay," she agreed, and his expression brightened.

"Great. Just let me wash my hands, and I'll meet you in the kitchen," he told her, transferring J.J. to her as he turned and headed further down the hall to the bathroom.

Sun had left them a note encouraging them to help themselves to whatever they needed; Kate settled J.J. in Ji's old highchair with his bear and a pile of blocks, and when Jack returned, they found the ingredients for a rice dish Sun had saved the recipe for.

Jack insisted that it wasn't possible, but somehow, she managed to burn the rice, so that most of it ended up stuck to the bottom of the saucepan; even so, it was hands down one of the most perfect meals she'd ever eaten just because they'd cooked it together.

Everything about the evening was wonderfully, painfully normal; once he finished feeding J.J., Jack washed the dishes while Kate dried them and put them back where they'd found them, then they bathed their son together, and tucked him into Ji's crib.

"Alone at last," Jack whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind, as they watched his eyelids flicker shut, but tilting her head to look at him, she knew he wouldn't have traded the moments leading up to it for anything.

"I had fun today," she told him softly, settling back into his embrace. "I'm glad you talked me into it."

Letting go of her, he led the way out of the room, closing the door partway behind them. "Why did you need me to talk you into it?" he asked, rounding on her once he was sure that the sound of their voices wouldn't disturb J.J., his brow furrowing in confusion. "Kate?"

For a moment, she was afraid she'd said something wrong, until she realised that the confrontation would have happened eventually, whether or not she'd given him an opening. "Jack…" she began, unsure how to explain how she felt, but the look on his face told her that he wasn't giving up without an answer.

"Don't tell me you were afraid of getting caught, because we both know it's more than that."

"I don't know," she confessed with a sigh, and he softened towards her, taking her hand, and urging her to come sit with him in the living room. "I guess I'm still uncomfortable with this. I mean, we were never really together, even when we were together, if that makes sense."

"Yeah, it does," he agreed, staring down at his hands. "But that doesn't mean we can't try now. Isn't that what all this is about? Us, being a family, like we should have from the beginning?"

"It is, but…" she bit her lip, thinking of that moment in the park. What if this really was it? What if they never had another day like it?

She could see that he was losing his patience, with her, and with the situation in general. "But what? Say it, Kate," he prompted, finishing the thought for her when she still couldn't bring herself to voice it, "We don't know what's gonna happen?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt," she agreed, even though she could see in his eyes that he already was at hearing how ready she was to give up on him, on them.

"You don't want me to get hurt? Or you don't wanna get hurt yourself?" he insisted, and it was all she could do to keep from yelling back.

"Both. I don't wanna hurt you, Jack, and I don't wanna hurt our son."

"Then how is pulling away from me the answer?" he asked sharply, surprising her by leaning forward, massaging his brow with both hands. "I know you're scared," he added softly. "I am too. I don't know how to be a father – it's not like I had the best role model. The only difference is I'm doing the best I can, and you keep fighting me on it."

He sounded so tired and sad that she found herself scooting over to him, slipping her arms around him so that her chin rested in the crook of his neck. "You're right, I am scared," she confessed, her voice muffled by her position, and he lifted his head to look at her. "I'm not used to sharing this with someone, so I'm scared it won't work out, and I'm scared that it will. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying, Jack."

"You don't need to be afraid of me, Kate," he told her, disentangling himself from her arms, and turning so that they were facing each other, taking her shoulders gently. "I'm not the enemy here."

"I know, trust me – I know," she told him, her eyes filling with tears as she remembered how happy he looked every time he got to be their son's father. "And I'm sorry – the last thing I want is to be fighting with you."

Some of the weight left his expression then, and he smiled, holding his arms out to her; accepting the olive branch he was offering, she sank into them, pressing her cheek to his chest, feeling the steady pulse of his heart. "So how about we stop fighting each other, and worry about fighting them instead?"

"Okay," she agreed swallowing against the lump in her throat as she lifted her head to kiss him.

Their eyes locked when they broke for air, tentative until she whispered, "Is it later yet?"

His response was a soft chuckle as he pulled her back in. "Come here," he murmured, weaving his fingers through the hair at the back of her neck as he brought her lips back to his.

"So I guess that's a yes?" she asked to tease him, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, sliding it up over his head when he didn't object.

"_That_ is a yes," he assured her as she cast it aside, and laughing, they fell back onto the couch together. Propping himself up with his elbows on either side of hers, he smiled down at her, his eyes full of love and reassurance, before leaning in to kiss her again. "Definitely a yes."

* * *

Next chapter: Babysitting... ;) 


	22. Chapter 22

Thanks for the reviews. I'm so glad you're all enjoying the fluff... ;)

* * *

Chapter 22. Time Out 

"Okay," Kate said, running through the list of instructions as she followed Sun through the apartment in search of Ji Yeon, "Her dinner's in the fridge, bedtime's at eight – what do we do if we need to tell her something?"

She'd been worrying about this since Sun first suggested she and Jack babysit; she wasn't sure why this was amusing to her until Sun shook her head. "She speaks English too – she just doesn't like to," she explained, and Kate let out a sigh of relief at the knowledge that she wouldn't have to rack her brains for the few words of Korean she knew.

"We thought it was important for her to learn, in case we…" Sun trailed off with a sad smile, and Kate remembered her telling her once, back on the island, that up until a few minutes before she boarded the plane, she was going to leave Jin to run away to America. After the island, she'd always assumed they would go there together. "Never mind."

They found Ji in the living room with Jack and J.J., parked in front of the TV, just as Jin stepped out of the bedroom knotting his tie; both parents kissed her goodnight, then rushed out the door to make their dinner reservations, leaving the four of them alone.

"So what d'you wanna do?" Kate asked her, but she just made a shushing motion and pointed at the screen, so Kate turned her attention back to her own child instead.

He was sitting on the rug with Jack in only a t-shirt and diaper, lining up a handful of cars; she watched as Jack drove one across the carpet, up along his bare leg, making him squirm and squeal with delight.

When it came to a stop around his chest, he pried it carefully from Jack's hand, and Jack sat there patiently, trying not to laugh as J.J. did the same to him, blowing little spit bubbles as he tried to mimic his sound effects.

"Are you copying Daddy again?" she asked him, stooping down to kiss the top of his head, and he flashed her a bright smile to let her know that he was having fun, before continuing to drive the car up as far as he could reach.

"I can't get over how smart he is," Jack told her, leaning forward to make it easier for him, wincing as it travelling over the back of his head. "He sees me do something…"

"Just wait until he starts swearing, or playing with knives," Kate said, but she dug her cell out of her pocket and took a picture of them anyway, "It won't be so cute then."

It was another half an hour before they managed to wrangle Ji Yeon to the table for dinner, and even then, it was only by agreeing to let her have ice cream afterwards. Sun had cooked her a special meal; some kind of orange soup with noodles in it; but halfway through, she decided she wanted what the grown ups were having, even though she ended up spitting most of it into the trash.

"What a waste," Jack said as he scraped the remains of both meals in after it. In the end, she hadn't eaten more than a few mouthfuls of either. "Next time we should just say no."

"What makes you think there'll be a next time?" Kate asked him, only half joking. The children were back in the living room where they could still see them through the divider; turning around from the sink to check on them, she saw that J.J. was waving one of Ji Yeon's dolls around while she followed it unhappily with her eyes. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can put up with."

Ji Yeon leapt to her feet when he stuck some of its hair into his mouth, whining something in Korean.

"He doesn't understand, honey," Kate called to her, hoping that this would encourage her to be a little more tolerant of her younger playmate, but she just switched to English instead, shrieking, "That's mine!"

"What a little charmer," Kate muttered, rolling her eyes to Jack, and he laughed.

"I think I liked it better in Korean," he agreed with a grin as she tried to figure out how best to diffuse the situation. If she took the doll from J.J., she would only upset him and make him cry, but if she didn't…

An ear-splitting wail erupted, and she realised with a pang it was J.J. Dropping the dishcloth she was holding, she raced into the living room with Jack on her heels, overcome by a burst of maternal fury when she saw the teeth marks on her son's wrist, Ji Yeon standing over him clutching the doll triumphantly.

"It's okay, I've got him," Jack assured her, reaching J.J. first, scooping him up into his arms to soothe him; she watched him bring their son's wrist tenderly to his lips, kissing the wound as he bounced him against his chest, before turning her attention back on the little girl.

"Ji Yeon Kwon," she said, filling each syllable with menace, "I think you need a time out," expecting her to hang her head with shame and try to talk her out of it, but she just eyed her with a wary look.

"What's that?"

"A time out is when you go to your room, and you think about how we don't bite people, especially people younger and smaller than us," Kate told her, swallowing her surprise as she took the doll out of her hand and led her from the room. "How would you like it if he bit you?"

"He can't – he doesn't have any teeth," Ji Yeon told her innocently, and as angry as she was, it was all she could do to keep from cracking a smile.

She was going to leave her to stew on her own bed until looking around, seeing all the toys she had to sugar coat her punishment, she decided to take her to the master bedroom instead.

"Now you sit here and you think of a way to apologise to J.J.," she ordered, letting go of her once she was seated. "I'll come get you when your time's up."

She was about to leave when she heard a small voice pipe up. "Kate?"

"That's Aunt Kate to you," she told her, and the little girl's meek expression got meeker until she was almost sinking into a puddle at the end of the mattress.

"Aunt Kate?" she corrected herself. "Are you gonna tell Omma and Oppa?"

She looked so genuinely remorseful that Kate's heart softened towards her. "I have to," she agreed, "but if you're sorry, I'll tell them that too."

"I am," she whispered, but before either of them could say anything more, Kate heard Jack's voice call out to her from the living room.

"Kate! Come look at this!"

Thinking that Ji Yeon had done more damage than she'd initially guessed, she gave her a sharp look, rushing out to the living room to find Jack more excited that she'd ever seen him, almost running into her as he met her at the door.

"Look," he repeated, and following his eyes she saw that J.J. had recovered from his injury, and was sprawled on his stomach on the rug, pulling himself towards the coffee table where she left the doll.

There were still tears in his eyes, and his wrist was still red, but his face was set into the same determined expression Jack got when he made up his mind to do something.

"I guess he really likes that thing," Jack said as their son's fingers wrapped around it, and he slid it down onto the floor with him.

"I guess he does," Kate agreed, grinning at him, overjoyed at sharing her first milestone with him.

They were both still ecstatic an hour later when they put the children to bed, J.J. tucked into Ji Yeon's crib with the doll as a peace offering.

Kate had just finished checking on Ji, to make sure she wasn't fretting about getting into trouble, when Jack slid his arms around her waist, pulling her down onto the couch with him.

"You'd better get out of here before Mr. and Mrs. Kwon see you," she teased him, and he laughed against her lips, kissing her a few more times before they settled onto their sides with her back moulded against him.

They stared at the screen in comfortable silence until she blurted out the thought that had been circling her head all evening. "When this is over, I think I wanna try to get pregnant again."

He didn't say anything, shifting his position so that they were facing each other, his expression unreadable.

"I don't mean right away," she added quickly, just in case he thought it was a bad idea. "I just think it would be nice for J.J. to have a little brother or sister one day."

"Me too," he agreed after a moment, his voice soft and hoarse, seeming to realise what had prompted this desire. She didn't just want it for J.J.; she wanted it for them. She wanted them to experience it together this time.

"I always wanted a little sister," he confessed, sliding her shirt up, absently caressing the skin it exposed with his fingertips, as if already imagining the baby there

"I think I wanted a brother," she told him, thinking of Tom in the days before she'd realised how she felt.

"No kid should have to be that lonely," he murmured, and all of a sudden, she wasn't sure if he was talking about her, or himself. "You're right – when this is over, he should have that."

* * *

For anyone who's wondering, Omma is Korean for mum/mom and Oppa is Korean for dad. 

Next chapter: Jack and Kate decide to make the dream a reality by continuing their quest to bring down the Hanso Foundation and Coming Up: The appearance of another Lostie... ;)


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks for the reviews. :) It's been too long since I updated this fic, but don't worry, I've only got four and a half more chapters of "Hide And Seek" to write and you will have my full attention again... ;)

* * *

Chapter 23. Walkabout Publishing

When Kate filled her in on the incident with the doll after she and Jin arrived home from the restaurant, Sun was more flustered and apologetic than she'd ever seen her, promising to speak to Ji Yeon as soon as she was awake. After asking her several times if J.J. was okay, and offering to give her the name of her paediatrician in case his wound needed treating, she insisted that he keep the doll, though Kate suspected Ji Yeon would be getting something new in its place.

After discovering his first taste of freedom, Kate found that she had to keep a more vigilant eye on her son from the next morning on, because instead of staying in the spot on the rug where she left him, he started going on little treks across the room, one of which ended with him ingesting half of one of Ji Yeon's crayons before Jack managed to wrestle it off of him.

"He's growing up so fast," Jack said as they sat in the park across the street from Sun and Jin's apartment, watching him explore the grass a few feet away. "He's crawling now – soon he's gonna be walking, and talking." He stared at him pensively. "When I think of everything I've missed… I don't wanna miss anything else."

"And you won't," Kate assured him, wrapping her arms around him with her cheek resting on his shoulder, but the truth was that the peace of the past few days was only an illusion; they still had a long way to go before they were safe.

"I wish we could stay here and do this forever," he told her with a wistful smile, brushing the top of her head with his lips as he pressed his own cheek against it, "but you know, we have to get back to reality."

"You mean go home?" she asked, starting to let go of him, that old defensive instinct rising inside of her, turning to anger as she remembered his speech about wanting to try life as a family. "You said—"

"I know, and that's not what I meant," he agreed with a soft chuckle, pulling her back to him, and she relaxed, comforted by the knowledge that he hadn't been leading her on.

"Well what did you mean?" she asked him, kissing his shoulder through the sleeve of his t-shirt.

"I meant that since we're getting nowhere asking people about Hanso, I think we should try a different approach," he explained, and sliding her arms from around him, she leant back on her hands so that she could look at him.

"Like what?"

"Like since the only lead we've gotten so far is the one Sayid gave us, maybe we should follow that up," he continued, leaning back beside her, warming to his topic as something akin to a plan began to formulate in his head.

Glancing over at J.J. in time to catch him putting a pebble into his mouth, Kate pried it out of his hand and threw it away, pulling him into her lap. "You mean Troup?" she supplied as she wrestled their son until he was seated on her thigh, distracting him with a little toy truck.

"Exactly," Jack agreed, without seeming to notice the interruption, still lost in his own thoughts.

"Didn't Sayid say he died in the crash?" she reminded him, her heart sinking at coming up against another dead end, but his smile told her that he didn't see this as being much of a problem.

"He also said he had a back up plan."

"Any idea what that might be?" she asked hopefully, sighing when J.J. broke free from her again with a disgruntled whine that made her think he must be about due for a nap.

"Publishers keep copies of all of their books, right?" Jack said, taking him from her absently as he continued to think out loud, and she nodded.

"Normally, they would, but didn't Sayid also say Hanso bought them all?"

"The ones that were already printed," he agreed, rubbing J.J.'s back with the heel of his hand, and within seconds, he was settled placidly, sucking on the wheel of his truck. "But who knows how many there are? What if what they gave Hanso wasn't everything? They could still have it on a computer somewhere."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Kate said, though she couldn't help smiling at the contradiction of Jack soothing their son while proposing strategies for bringing their enemies down. It was one of the things she loved most about him: that combination of hard and soft, strong and vulnerable, commanding and nurturing.

"We've seen what these people can do," she added softly, thinking of her father, still unconscious the last time she'd checked in with Daniel.

He glanced down at J.J., and she could tell what he was thinking without him even having to say it. "If the book is as important as Hanso seems to think it is, then don't you think it would be worth the risk?"

* * *

They dropped J.J. back at the apartment with Sun after lunch, then, once he was asleep, walked the couple of blocks to the public library to use their computers.

An Internet search using the terms Valenzetti Equation, Alvar Hanso, and Gary Troup failed to bring up more than a couple of blogs by conspiracy theorists speculating about the book, and the equation's, existence, but they were able to learn that Troup's other manuscript, Bad Twin, was published by a company called Walkabout Publishing shortly after his death.

The crash had added to his notoriety, making it a worldwide bestseller. There was a copy in the library; after locating it on the self, they managed to track down an English-speaking librarian who could translate sections of the introduction, and the publishing details for them.

"Do they have an address?" Kate asked her eagerly, eliciting a curious look.

"It's in Australia," she explained, with a shrug. "That's all I can tell you. This one was printed here in Seoul – if you want to know more about the original publisher, you'll have to consult their website."

After thanking her profusely, they returned to their station at the computers, and a few minutes later, they had successfully located the site for Walkabout Publishing, Kate shifting impatiently in her chair as Jack scrolled down the page, skimming its contents.

"It says here that the Senior Editor is a woman called Christine DeVries," he told her, turning to meet her eyes with a hopeful expression. "Think she's the one who was handling Troup?"

"If she wasn't, maybe she can tell us who did. Either way, there's only one way to find out," Kate agreed, feeling something like excitement for the first time in days as she scanned the rest of the contact details over his shoulder. "Looks like we're going back to Sydney."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack, Kate and J.J. head to Sydney ( I refuse to say "Down Under"!), and encounter another Lostie with some interesting news for Jack... ;) 


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for the reviews. :) I thought it was about time I posted something, but don't worry, updates should become more regular now that I only have one fic to contend with!

And the next Lostie cameo is, you guessed it... (Although some of you will be pleased to know I have plans for Jack and Kate to visit Florida and Tennessee later!) ;)

* * *

Chapter 24. Claire 

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose now that they had a clear objective, they booked a flight to Sydney for the following morning.

While Sun, and even Jin, seemed sorry to hear that they were leaving, Kate could tell that they too were relieved, just as Desmond had been, because it meant that they were free from suspicion; a luxury Jack and Kate didn't have. After examining it from every angle, they decided that they had no choice but to travel together using their real names now that their cover had been blown. With airport security so tight, producing fake papers was risky, especially with a baby in tow; Kate suggested using different airlines, or flying in a day apart, but Jack was afraid to let her and J.J. out of his sight.

Secretly she was pleased when he shot down every one of her arguments; she wasn't ready to be separated from him, and neither was their son. Before they'd landed in Seoul, he hadn't known what he was missing, or even that he was missing anything at all, but now that he'd spent time with Jack, she suspected that he wouldn't be satisfied with just her anymore. Things would change when Jack went back to work, but for now, J.J. seemed happy to be at the centre of his father's world.

He wasn't the only one enjoying the attention.

"What?" Kate asked as they finished breakfast in the food court at Seoul International Airport, when she glanced up from wiping J.J.'s hands with her napkin to find Jack staring at her.

He shook his head, turning his eyes back on his food, but when she continued to smile at him, expectant, he confessed, "When I think about where I was a couple of weeks ago – I can't believe this is my life now. I figured I'd be dead in a month, and here I am with you and our son…"

"What're you saying Jack?" she asked when he stumbled over whatever it was he was trying to get out, shuddering at the mention of his drug problem. He was doing so much better now that, sometimes, it was easy to forget how she'd found him, but she still lived in fear that he would relapse again the moment things got too hard.

"I guess I just want you to know how much I love you," he finished, sounding less sure of himself now that he was arriving at his point, and it occurred to her that in all the time they'd been rebuilding their relationship, it was the first time either of them had dared to use those words. It was like they were avoiding them, in case it all went wrong.

It still could, but she was glad to hear his resolve strengthened by the promise of a future with her. "I love you too," she agreed, her heart swelling with happiness as she leant across the table to kiss him.

* * *

J.J. was much better behaved the second time around with Jack there to do what his bear had before; he held him in his lap and talked to him softly, and after shedding a few tears during take off, he was fine. It should have made her jealous; defensive; but as time went on, she found herself getting used to it, even liking it. 

With Jack around to pick up the slack she didn't have to be perfect, or worry about screwing him up; she could enjoy her son without feeling like there was something more important that she should be doing.

* * *

It was late by the time they checked into their apartment; J.J. was getting fussy, so after dinner, and a quick bath, they put him straight down in his rented crib. 

"All this travelling is wreaking havoc on my body," Kate complained when they moved to their own room, flopping down on their bed with her wrist flung over her eyes, buzzed and exhausted at the same time. "I don't know which time zone I'm in anymore."

She sighed when she felt the mattress sag, and a hand lift hers away so that a stubbled mouth could graze the side of her throat. "Jack? Are you even listening to me?" she checked, cracking one eye open and sneaking a peek at him, where he was balanced on one knee, leaning over her. "What did I just say?"

"You said something about your body," he murmured against her neck with a soft chuckle, and she couldn't help laughing when their eyes met, and she saw the mischievous twinkle in his as he brought his lips up to hers.

"Oh yeah, what?" she teased him the next time they broke from each other, feigning disapproval, but she pulled him down onto the bed with her, pleased to have him to herself for a few hours before their son needed him again.

* * *

The first thing Jack did when the woke up the next morning was set up an appointment with Christine DeVries, claiming to be a close friend of Gary Troup's. 

"What do you think she'll say? Do you think she'll tell us anything?" Kate asked when he got off the phone with her assistant, and read the details back to her.

It wasn't until the afternoon, so they had a whole day to come up with a list of questions. Of course that didn't mean she would be willing to answer them.

"I don't know," he agreed, shaking his head, and she could see that he was apprehensive about this too. After Elsa, it was hard to know who, if anyone, to trust. For all they knew, she could be working for Hanso as well. "I guess that depends on if someone else has gotten to her first."

* * *

They spent the next hour discussing whether or not they should take J.J. with them to the meeting. Jack suggested Kate stay with him, rather than take any chances, but she didn't want him going alone, in case it turned out to be some kind of trap. 

"Too bad we can't just hire a babysitter," he said as he watched Kate feed him some of her eggs, and she realised that this wasn't a bad idea.

"Maybe we can. He was safe with Sun…" she pointed out, causing him to furrow his brow in confusion.

"It's not like we can just walk down the beach to her tent," he reminded her with a rueful smile. "We're pretty much on our own here."

"No we're not," she argued. "We have Claire. She might not be just down the beach, but she lives with her aunt a couple of blocks from here."

"You think we should ask her?" he checked, still not sounding convinced; or maybe he just wanted an excuse to leave her back at the apartment, out of harm's way.

"Why not? She does have some experience," Kate told him. "And the best part is, we know we can trust her."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack and Kate go in search of Claire, Claire meets J.J. and gives Jack some life-changing news... ;) 


	25. Chapter 25

Thanks for the reviews. I'm just gonna assume most people don't know this fic is back... ;)

* * *

Chapter 25. The Elephant In The Room

A blonde woman with features similar to Claire's, only without her sweet nature, answered the door to the house she and Aaron shared with her aunt.

This must be Lindsay, Kate thought, remembering the conversation she'd had with Claire on the rescue boat. She hadn't wanted to go back to Sydney, but without the support of the other survivors, she wasn't sure what else to do with herself.

"I'm Jack – Jack Shephard – and this is Kate. We're here to see Claire," Jack explained with a polite smile, but it seemed to have the opposite effect to the one he'd intended; the little bit of warmth she'd shown them on arriving evaporated then as if, with those few words, he had somehow managed to insult her.

"I was wondering when you were gunna show up," she said, eyeing him with contempt, and Jack shot a sidelong glance at Kate, mystified.

"You know who I am?" he asked, frowning at her, and Kate could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out what Claire might have told her to cause that reaction.

"Of course I know who you are," she agreed, her tone clipped. "She's not here – try the park."

And with that, she slammed the door in his face.

"What do you think that was all about?" Kate asked as they made their way back to their rental, bouncing J.J. in her arms to settle him. She wasn't sure if it was Lindsay's hostile behaviour, or the bang that sounded a few yards in front of his ears, but something about the encounter had upset him.

Or maybe he was just picking up on Jack's mood.

"I don't know," he told her, shaking his head, but his voice was low and strained, and she could tell that he was blaming himself. "Maybe we should just forget the whole thing and take him with us."

It hurt her to see him looking so miserable, like he had after Locke's funeral, when he tried to convince her that he was responsible for ruining all of their lives. "Look at me," she insisted, grasping his elbow with her free hand, and when he did, it was with the same deep sadness and regret. "Whatever just happened, it had nothing to do with you – when we find Claire, you'll see that."

He seemed so sure that at least one of their friends hated him; she was determined to prove him wrong, so they drove around the neighbourhood until they found a playground just over a block east of her house.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Kate spotted a pair of matching blonde heads over by the swing set. "There," she said to Jack, pointing them out.

She got out first, rescuing J.J. from his car seat, and Jack had no choice but to follow, hanging back at a safe distance as he waited to see Claire's reaction.

"Claire!" Kate called when they got close enough for her to hear them, and as her son sailed back into the air, the younger woman turned, her jaw almost hitting the sand when she saw who was approaching her.

"Jack? Kate? Oh my God!" she cried with a breathy laugh, pulling the swing to a stop as she rushed up the hill to meet them. Aaron slid off, scurrying after her, and remembering the tiny baby she'd helped bring into the world, Kate was amazed to see that he was now up to his mother's waist.

To her relief, and Jack's confusion, Claire gave them each an enthusiastic hug while Aaron looked on shyly, stepping back to fix Jack with a tight, awkward smile before shifting her attention to J.J. "And who is this?" she asked in a playful tone, brushing the curls on the top of his head with her palm.

"This is J.J. – our son," Kate told her proudly, a broad smile creeping over her face, pleased that, after keeping his existence a secret for so long, she was finally getting the chance to show him off to their friends.

Claire's response was to gape at her, then Jack, in astonishment. "I can't believe you guys have a baby now," she gushed, sharing Kate's grin as she looked their son over, and when Kate snuck a peek at Jack, she saw that he was beaming too despite himself. "Wow, he's like a mini Jack. _J.J._ – I get it."

She turned to her own son, urging him to come closer. "These are friends of Mummy's, from the island where you were born," she told him, resting her hands on each of his shoulders. "This is Jack – he looked after us all – and Kate – Kate saw you even before I did."

He looked up at her with a mixture of awe and suspicion as he acknowledged her, then Jack, who still didn't seem to know how to act. Clearly, wherever her aunt had gotten her information about him, it wasn't from Claire.

"So what are you doing in Australia?" she asked as she led them over to one of the picnic tables at the side of the playground. Kate set J.J. down in the grass, and he offered one of the toy cars he'd brought with him to Aaron. "I thought we weren't supposed to see each other?"

"We're not," Jack agreed, sliding onto the bench opposite Claire, recovering his tongue as he launched into an explanation of everything that had happened to them over the past few weeks, concluding with their appointment that afternoon. Here, at least, he seemed to be in his element.

"Blackmail, huh? Cool," Claire said with a nod, but she didn't seem quite as jovial as she had before he began. "So what can I do?"

"You can take J.J. home with you and keep him there until we come to pick him up," Kate told her from her place next to Jack, suddenly afraid that her aunt wouldn't want him in her house, but Claire nodded again.

"Sure – I'd be happy to."

Once this was settled, an uncomfortable silence fell over them.

Seeing this as an opportunity to steer the conversation towards the elephant in the room, Kate cleared her throat. "When we stopped by your house before, your aunt slammed the door in our faces. Do you know why that is?" she asked Claire, deciding to cut right to the chase.

The younger woman stared down at her hands, twirling the ring on her thumb, biding her time before answering. "It's not what you think," she assured them, her voice muffled by the fact that she refused to look up. "I didn't tell her to do that, she just… I don't think she wants to see you, Jack."

"Why?" he prompted her, leaning forward, but she still wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"Because you remind her of someone." Seeming to guess at his next question, she hesitated before explaining, "Your father."

"What does my father have to do with this?" he asked her, and Kate had been through this with him enough times to recognise that he was beginning to lose his temper with her evasiveness. It was all too much for him to deal with; he wanted an answer, and he wasn't prepared to wait.

Seeming to realise this too, Claire glanced up at him then, meeting his eyes, her own expression stuck somewhere between apologetic and defiant. "He's my father too."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack reacts to Claire's news (and probably not in the way you're imagining)... ;) 


	26. Chapter 26

Thanks for the reviews. Now for Jack's reaction... ;)

* * *

Chapter 26. Like Father, Like Son 

Watching Jack shake his head stubbornly, refusing to believe what Claire was telling him, Kate's heart went out to him. It wasn't easy, learning that everything you'd come to depend on was a lie.

"That's not possible," he argued, setting his jaw, but she could see the doubt in his eyes. "My father's only been to Australia once, and that was right before the crash."

His apparent rejection of her must have stung; more than Kate could imagine; but she was impressed with Claire's patience as she waited for the news to sink in. "Trust me, if you asked me when we were back on the island, I would've said the same thing, but it's true," she assured him with an uncomfortable smile. "Lindsay told me. My father's name was Christian Shephard. He was a spinal surgeon from L.A. – like you."

"Then she's thinking of somebody else," Jack snapped, jumping up from the bench, throwing Kate's hands off when she tried to get him to sit back down.

She called out his name, but he ignored her, starting off across the park in the direction of the road before she could stop him.

"Where is he going?" Claire asked, staring after him, her voice laced with guilt.

"I think I have an idea," Kate told her, sick at the thought. He'd come a long way, but he wasn't out of the woods yet. This just proved it. "Can you stay with the kids?"

When she nodded, Kate shoved herself to her feet, glancing back at J.J. one last time to make sure he was still occupied with Aaron before she raced up the hill to the parking lot.

She searched every bar within a mile radius before she found him hunched over a glass in a dank, smoky dive near the harbour, the sight filling her with sadness, but above all, disgust. He was better than that. How could he not see that?

"God, Jack," she said, rushing over to snatch it from his hand before he could take another sip, ignoring the looks she was getting from the rest of the bar's all male clientele. The old Jack would have had something to say about that, but this one was too busy wallowing in self-pity to notice.

She couldn't tell what he was drinking, but whatever it was, it was working fast. "What're you doing here, Kate?" he asked when he was forced to acknowledge her, his eyelids drooping, his voice beginning to slur. "Where's J.J.?" He glanced around her as if expecting to see him.

"Safe," was all she would give him, taking hold of his elbow. "C'mon, we're leaving." She tried to haul him to his feet, dropping it again and letting out a frustrated sigh when he went limp, using his superior weight against her.

"You should go," he told her, and she figured he just wanted to drown his sorrows without her bothering him, but then he added, "I'm sure you could still get a flight."

"And leave you here to kill yourself?" she demanded, her stomach turning at the thought.

"I was going to," he confessed, and she decided he must be drunker than she'd anticipated until he continued, "He came here to tie up his loose ends – to die – and I was angry because I had to come after him. I didn't know – he was my father, and I didn't know the first thing about him."

Seeing how tortured he looked, she softened towards him, climbing onto the stool beside his. "You can't blame yourself, Jack – he should have told you," she said, touching his arm.

"Why didn't he?" he insisted, and she could see that he was working hard to understand, but there was a good chance that he never would. The only person who could tell them that was his father, and he was long gone. "He had this whole other life I didn't even know about."

"Which part of that bothers you more, Jack – that you didn't know about it, or that you weren't a part of it?" she asked, thinking that she could see the bigger picture here.

Jack had never felt like he'd lived up to his father's expectations; in his mind, that had to be the reason he hadn't seen fit to confide in him. He wasn't good enough, or smart enough, or loyal enough to earn his father's respect, when in reality, it was the other way around.

"The bitch of it is," he went on, ignoring her question, "at the end of the day, he and I aren't all that different. He was a lousy dad and a drunk when he was around, and he was a lousy dad when he wasn't – what does it say about me that the best thing I ever did for my kid was stay out of his life?"

She opened her mouth to remind him that that wasn't his fault; that he _was_ a good dad, at least as far as J.J. was concerned, but he cut her off. "You should've left me, Kate – that night I took all those pills. It would've been better for everyone if you had."

Watching him turn back to the bar, ordering a drink to replace the one she'd taken, she found herself filled with the same desperate anger she'd felt at the hospital.

"Better for you, you mean," she spat, sliding off her stool, fighting back tears as she wondered how he could possibly think he would be doing her a favour by leaving her alone.

"You're not the only one in hell, Jack. My dad is in the hospital because he told me I couldn't save you – that I shouldn't even try – and I wouldn't listen. If he dies, I have to live with that, so maybe you can let this go, but I can't."

She couldn't watch him slip back into that shell of his former self either, so she tried to storm past him, but he caught her wrist, dragging her back. "Don't," she warned him, shooting him a furious look, but when he stood, pulling her into his arms, she didn't fight him, burying her face in his chest. "Don't leave me, Jack. I can't lose you too."

"I'm not sure I can," he assured her with a lopsided grin when she met his eyes.

"I won't let you," she agreed, hugging him tighter, smiling at him through her tears. He was back, _her_ Jack.

"I'm sorry – I shouldn't've said all those things," he told her, letting his cheek fall against the top of her head with a sigh. "We're gonna go to this meeting, and we're gonna hear what this woman has to say, and then we'll decide what to do from there. Maybe we can go back to L.A. and check in with the doctors."

"Thank you," she whispered, rasing her head to kiss him before he stepped out of their embrace.

He was still a little tipsy so she had to support him as they left the bar, but she didn't mind as much as she knew that she should because it meant she didn't have to let go of him until they reached the car.

"Claire," he said as she helped him with his seatbelt, wincing as if remembering something painful. "If she didn't hate me before..."

"She doesn't hate you," she assured him, sliding the key into the ignition. "But as hard as this is for you, you've gotta remember – this is hard for her too."

He glanced over at her, and she could see the sympathy in his eyes as he realised that she was speaking from experience. "I really am sorry about your dad, Kate," he told her, resting his hand over hers on the gear stick.

She forced a weak smile for his benefit, squeezing back. "Yeah, me too."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack realises he has another reason to fight, and they go to the meeting... ;) 


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks for the reviews. I promise you that we've now seen the last of junkie Jack:)

I was going to update yesterday, but as some of you know, my dog of nearly eleven years passed away, so I was pretty cut up about that and couldn't find the motivation to write. :'( I'm feeling more like myself today, though, so I decided to finish the chapter... ;)

* * *

Chapter 27. The Flash Drive 

Claire was still sitting on the bench where they'd left her, watching the boys with a rueful expression when Kate parked the car and she and Jack got out.

"Jack – thank God!" she cried when she looked up to see them approaching, Jack leaning on Kate to keep from losing his footing on the hill, but she refrained from hugging him this time, folding her arms awkwardly across her chest.

"Hey," he greeted her with a shy smile, as if unsure what to say to her. "Sorry for running out on you like that, I just… you know."

"Yeah, I do," Claire agreed, still uncomfortable, but Kate could see her relax at his assurance that his reaction had nothing to do with her.

Aaron was building some kind of road for the cars while J.J. mimicked him, snatching up great clumps of dirt in his fists. He was covered in dark smudges; they were on his face, his arms, his feet, his clothes; but he was having fun, so Kate decided to leave him, and worry about cleaning him up later.

She slid her arm from around Jack's waist once they were close enough for him to sit down, settling back on the bench beside him.

"So what now?" he asked after a long, loaded silence, and Claire smiled.

"I don't know. We talk, get to know each other again, I guess – I mean, if you're up for it," she rushed on, self-conscious after everything that had just happened.

He studied her for a moment, and Kate was afraid he was going to refuse, until he nodded, returning her smile. "I'd like that," he told her.

* * *

The meeting with Christine DeVries wasn't for a few hours, so Jack offered to take Claire and Aaron to lunch while she filled them in the details of her life since the island. 

She seemed to be doing well for herself, Kate decided, though she couldn't help noting that three years on, she still wasn't dating again; now that her son was in kindergarten, she was working as a receptionist during the day, and taking night classes while Lindsay looked after him.

She was doing well, but like most of the other survivors, she didn't seem better off.

"Maybe we can convince her to come stay with us in L.A.," Jack suggested as Kate drove across town to the Walkabout Publishing offices later that afternoon. Rather than risk a fight with her aunt, Claire had taken the boys with her to run errands, which they'd all agreed was safer, because it meant that they would be in a public place.

"Us?" Kate repeated, enjoying the way it sounded, like they were a real family. "Last time I checked, you had your own apartment, and I was sharing a house with my dad."

"That's why I thought when all this was over, you and J.J. would come live with me," he agreed, and glancing over at him, she realised that whatever he'd been drinking had long since worn off. He knew what he was saying, and he meant it. In fact, as far as he was concerned, the decision had already been made. "You've gotta admit, it makes more sense than you getting your own place."

"Are you asking me to move in with you, Jack?" she teased him, feeling a broad grin spread over her features. She was going to live with Jack; they were going to raise their son together, maybe even have another baby like they'd discussed.

"Do I need to?" he pressed, looking less sure of himself, as if he were afraid that she was having second thoughts about their relationship, but shook her head.

"No."

* * *

Kate wasn't sure what to expect, but when she beckoned them through to her office, she discovered that Christine DeVries was a tall, blonde woman with a welcoming smile and self-deprecating sense of humour. 

"That'll teach me not to let myself get distracted when I'm driving, huh?" she said, patting a small bandage on her forehead as she gestured to a pair of chairs set aside for visitors. "Minor car accident. Fortunately I was the only one hurt."

She waited until they were both seated to get down to business. "You said you were friends of Gary's?"

"That's right," Jack agreed. "We met on a plane. I'm Jack, and this is Kate."

"You already know my name. So what can I do for you today?" she asked, folding her hands over her desk with an encouraging smile.

Unsure how to answer this, Jack looked to Kate, so she decided to take the lead. She was the better liar after all. "We're putting together a collection of his work and we were hoping you might have something to contribute."

"I'm afraid not," Christine assured them. "We only own the rights to one of his books, but if you'll settle for an extract, I'm sure arrangements can be made. I didn't know Gary very well, but he seemed like a nice guy, with a lot of talent. It would be a shame not to share that with people."

She smiled at them, and as she glanced over at Jack, seeing her beaten down expression reflected in his, Kate felt sick with disappointment. After everything that had happened; everything that they'd done; once again they would be returning to L.A. empty-handed, with the added baggage of a sister Jack was forbidden from seeing simply because they'd boarded the same flight.

"Are you sure that's it?" he insisted, surprising her with his tenacity when hours earlier he was ready to give up. "What about… what about _The Valenzetti Equation_? You published that too, didn't you?"

Christine was up and on her feet in seconds. "Who are you?" she demanded, rummaging through the top drawer of her desk, and before they could answer, they found themselves staring down the barrel of a sleek black pistol.

"I didn't think people were allowed guns here," Kate hissed to Jack, tensing, thankful that their son was safe with Claire.

"You'd be surprised how inconsequential that becomes after someone tries to run you off a cliff," Christine interrupted, and Kate realised that however it happened, her 'minor' car accident had nothing to do with letting herself be distracted. She was fighting for her life. "No point in worrying about going to jail if you're dead."

"That wasn't us – we're not here to hurt you," she told her, doing her best to stay calm as she raised her hands to where Christine could see them.

"We're survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 – the same crash that killed Gary Troup," Jack agreed, gesturing to her computer as he followed suit. "Don't take my word for it – look it up if you don't believe me – but trust me when I say we want the same thing. All we want is to be left alone – that's why we need the book. We need some kind of assurance that they won't keep coming after us and our families."

"You were really on that plane?" Christine asked, looking sceptical, but her gun hand wilted so that it was no longer pointed at their chests.

"Yeah," Kate agreed with a wry smile. "We were."

"And you want to try to blackmail the Hanso Foundation? One of the most powerful humanitarian organizations on the planet?" she continued, lowering it the rest of the way, her expression telling them that while she no longer doubted that this was true, she still thought they were both crazy.

"We do," Jack told her. "But we need that book."

Shifting the gun to her left hand, Christine turned slowly towards the safe behind her desk. "You'd better be careful, because someone knows you're here," she told them, dialling in the combination. "They're probably watching you right now."

It was a disconcerting thought, but at that moment, all that seemed to matter was that they were finally going to be the ones in the position to make demands; exchanging a hopeful glance with Jack, Kate held her breath as she watched Christine retrieve an object the size of a postage stamp from a little nook in the back.

She tossed it to Jack, who caught it in his palm, holding it out so that they could both see it. It was a flash drive; the kind used for storing data.

"They took everything else," Christine explained, closing the safe. "They even took my hard drive. I figured I should keep a copy for myself, just in case, but you know what? The bloody thing's more trouble than it's worth."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack, Kate and Claire celebrate the fact that the survivors now have the upper hand, and Kate gets some news about Sam... ;) 


	28. Chapter 28

Thanks for the reviews. Feedback still isn't what I hoped, but since those of you who have taken the time to comment have been so amazing, I still decided to update.

Oh, and I'm glad so many of you enjoyed my "Good News" one shot, since I wasn't sure how it would go down, but I'm afraid it was never meant to be anything other than that. I structured it in such a way that it was self contained, with a beginning, a middle and an end... ;)

* * *

Chapter 28. Something To Celebrate 

"Well that went better than I thought it would – aside from the part where she pulled a gun on us," Jack said once they were out of Christine's earshot, grinning as he looped an arm around Kate's waist. With the flash drive nestled in the inside pocket of his coat, over his heart, he seemed more optimistic than he had since Claire dropped the bombshell about his father, patting it every so often with his free hand to make sure that it was still there.

But as much as she wished that she could share in his joy, she couldn't seem to forget Christine's warning:

"_You'd better be careful, because someone knows you're here. They're probably watching you right now."_

She knew she would feel better once J.J. was with them, and they were all back inside the apartment; maybe they could just order take out and spend a quiet night in front of the TV. She might even suggest that they go to bed early, she decided, smiling to herself as they separated at the curb.

She let Jack take the wheel now that he had sobered up, reaching for her seat belt in time to see one of the drivers behind them put his car into gear. He pulled out a few seconds after they did, falling into the stream of traffic at a non-threatening distance, but was it really her imagination, or was he turning when they turned, stopping when they stopped?

Before Jack could make the right that would take them back to the park, where they'd arranged to pick up their son, Kate touched his arm to get his attention, directing his eyes to the rear view mirror. "Don't – we're being followed," she explained, and he shot her a quizzical look, but to her relief, he continued on past the turn off, heading straight towards the harbour.

"Where should I go?"

"Just keep driving," she told him, taking her cell out and dialling Claire's number. "I'm gonna call Claire and tell her to meet us at the apartment instead – I'll feel better if they stay with us tonight."

* * *

They couldn't risk leading their pursuers to the one place that they knew they would be safe, so they left the rental at a mall a block away and doubled back on foot. 

Claire was sitting on the floor of the lobby, colouring with Aaron while J.J. scribbled lightly over everything, when Jack and Kate stepped through the glass doors, but she was on her feet the moment she saw them, worry etched into her doll-like features.

"They wouldn't give me a key," she complained, gesturing to their little camp. "Is everything okay? You sounded weird on the phone."

"Everything's fine," Jack assured her with a grin, "Just a precaution," and she relaxed as she crouched down to get her son and his things into some kind of order.

Jack moved to do the same for theirs, but Kate reached him first, hugging him to her chest, relieved that they hadn't tried to come after him again. "Did you have fun with Aunty Claire and Aaron?" she asked him, kissing his nose, and pressing her forehead to his, and watching her, Jack smiled, his hand falling protectively to her side as he steered them towards the lift.

* * *

Once upstairs, the tension ebbed away, in favour of a more festive atmosphere. 

After feeding the boys, and settling them in the living room, Jack and Kate took turns filling Claire in on their meeting over dinner; when they got to the part about the flash drive, she insisted on seeing it, handling it as if it were made of glass.

"You really think this is gunna work?" she checked with a cautious smile, passing it back to Jack so that he could return it to his pocket.

"It better," he agreed with a laugh, and Kate could see that while he still had his doubts, he was refusing to entertain the possibility that it wouldn't. There was too much riding on their success. "In fact, I'm counting on it."

"So what happens now?" Claire asked, setting her fork down, her forehead crinkling into a frown, and Kate realised that as happy for him as she was, she was also disappointed that there was no longer anything keeping him in Sydney. "I mean, do you just go back to L.A., or are you gunna let them know you have it?"

"We're gonna give you a copy," Kate assured her, looking to Jack for support. They hadn't talked much about the next step, neither wanting to jinx the outcome of the meeting, but during the few short conversations that they'd had, they seemed to be in agreement.

"In fact," he added, his face breaking into the same grin he always got back on the island when he was certain that a plan couldn't fail, "We're gonna make sure everyone has one. They can't pick us off one by one – not unless they want everyone else to go public."

"That's pretty Machiavellian of you, Jack," Claire said with an approving smile, and he scratched his head, bashful all of a sudden.

"Yeah, well, I can't take all the credit – Kate's been the heart of this operation," he confessed, turning to her, his dark eyes warm, and full of unspoken gratitude.

She didn't know what to say to that, so she leant over and kissed him, both of them pulling away, self-conscious, when Claire let out an amused, "Aw, you guys are so sweet. So when's the wedding? You have to let me be a bride's maid."

"What? Who told you we were getting married, Claire?" Jack asked her, shooting an accusing glance at Kate.

"Wasn't me," she told him with a shrug, returning to her food to hide her grin.

"You've been together pretty much as long as I've known you, and you have a baby – don't tell me you're afraid of committing, Jack," Claire went on, doing her best to sound innocent, but the mischievous twinkle in her wide blue eyes told Kate that she was only half serious.

Watching him fumble for an answer that wouldn't make him look like an ass, Kate almost felt sorry for him. "She's just making fun of you, Jack," she assured him. "No one's asking you to do anything – not yet anyway," she couldn't resist adding with a smirk.

"I guess that's something I'm gonna have to get used to," he agreed once he recovered from his embarrassment, meeting Claire's eyes with a hesitant look, until she smiled.

"If you think you can put up with having your hippyish Australian little sister and her illegitimate son around."

They were still grinning at each other across the table, sharing a companionable silence, when Kate's cell went off, and excusing herself, she got up and took it into the bedroom.

"Hello?"

At first, she wasn't sure that she'd heard right, and she had to ask the caller to repeat it, but by the time she hung up, the news had begun to sink in.

"That was Daniel," she announced when she rejoined the others, and when he couldn't get a read on her expression, Jack tensed, bracing himself for the worst.

"Did something happen?" he asked, getting to his feet, "Your dad…?" trailing off when her face split into a grin.

"He just woke up."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack, Kate and J.J. head home to L.A., and Jack and Sam finally meet... ;) 


	29. Chapter 29

Thanks for the reviews. (The response to "Good News" has been so encouraging that I may actually have to consider a follow up! I already have an idea for my next ongoing fic, and strangely enough, that wasn't it!;)) Now, there's two ways I could have gone with this chapter -- hopefully you'll all find this one interesting... ;)

* * *

Chapter 29. Guy Stuff

Now that her father had regained consciousness, Kate was eager to get home, so Claire and Aaron spent the night in with J.J., and the next morning, once they'd given her a copy of the flash drive, Claire followed them to the airport to see them off.

"Take care of yourself," Jack said at the gate, surprising everyone by pulling her into a brotherly hug, pressing the key to the apartment into her palm when he stepped back. "It's paid up until the end of the week if you wanna keep staying there…"

"Thanks," she told him, eyeing it with a grateful smile as he bent down to say goodbye to his nephew. "I think we will."

Both she and Aaron hugged Kate and J.J. too, and then she led him off to one side to wave as the three of them made their way down the tunnel, onto the plane.

"You okay?" Kate asked when they were in their seats, and she caught Jack staring out the window, back towards the terminal with a pensive look. They couldn't see Claire from where they were sitting, but she knew that she was still weighing heavily on his mind.

"It's her I'm worried about," he confessed without seeming to feel the need to elaborate, turning to Kate, his dark eyes troubled. "If something happened to her because of what we did…"

"She's survived worse than this," Kate reminded him, shifting her grip on their son so that she could find his hand with her free one and squeeze it. "She's a smart kid – she'll be fine."

"You're right," he agreed, forcing a smile as he reached out for J.J., and deciding that he was the best distraction she could provide him at that moment, she let him lift him over the armrest, into his lap.

* * *

"I'll wait with him if you wanna go in by yourself," Jack told her when they arrived at the hospital hours later. 

It was morning again, but it still felt like night. J.J. was dozing against Jack's shoulder after drifting off in the cab; smoothing the curls back from his forehead, noting the way he didn't even stir at the contact, Kate nodded.

"We'll be right here if you need us," Jack added with an encouraging smile, pecking her lips before he stationed himself in one of the hard plastic chairs in the waiting room.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself as she walked down the hall, but any fears she might have had about her father's condition evaporated when she entered his room to find him still wrapped in bandages, but otherwise alert, his face lighting up at the sight of her.

"Daddy," she choked out, feeling like a little girl again as she rushed over to his side, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again, okay?"

"Hey, careful there, Katie – my ribs are still broken," he reminded her with a soft chuckle, groaning as he put a hand out to protect himself, but when she met his eyes, releasing him, she saw that he was crying too.

"Where's J.J.?" he asked when she perched on the edge of his mattress, taking his hand in hers, and he had time to digest the fact that she was alone. "Daniel said he gave him back to you."

"Outside, in the waiting room," she assured him before he could jump to any conclusions about her son's whereabouts. When he didn't seem satisfied with this answer, she hesitated before adding, "With Jack."

"Jack's here?" he repeated, his voice taking on a sharp tone, and for a moment, she was tempted to lie to him and say that he'd been called into surgery. It wasn't that she was ashamed of him, because she wasn't; it was just that she didn't think she could choose between them if, in light of everything that had happened, her father decided to withdraw his support.

"Yeah," she agreed, but before she could finish explaining, he ordered, "So send him in."

"Now?" she repeated, fixing him an incredulous look. He'd just come out of a coma thirty-six hours earlier, and his first impulse was to check up on her? "Don't you think you should at least wait until you get out of hospital?"

With any luck, she thought, it would all be over by then.

"Katie," he warned her, doing his best to sound patient, but his voice was stern, commanding; his army voice, she'd called it when she was younger. It made her feel like she was fifteen again, and dating for the first time. "Those bastards almost killed me so that the two of you could be together – I wanna know if he's worth all the trouble. Besides, don't you think it's time I met the father of my grandson?"

His tone made it clear that he wouldn't accept any excuses this time; if it was safe for Jack to come with her to the hospital, there was nothing stopping him from coming into his room.

"Okay, Dad," she agreed, kissing his cheek as she slid off the bed, "but I want you to remember I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a big girl – big enough to make my own choices… and my own mistakes."

"So I've noticed," he told her, looking her up and down with a sad smile. "Seems like it all happened overnight."

"How's he doing?" Jack asked her when she found him in the waiting room, thumbing through a magazine with J.J. stretched across his lap.

"He wants to meet you," she told him, watching the apprehension creep into his features.

He was worried, and with good reason too; she knew him well enough to know that his biggest fear was that her father might never respect him for skipping out on his responsibilities. Even if he wasn't aware that he had any. "Now?"

"That's what I said," she agreed with a grin, swinging J.J. up onto her hip so that he could get up. "We'd better hurry – he's waiting."

Her father had arranged himself to so that he was sitting upright when she led Jack into the room, still clutching his hand.

"Dad, this is Jack," she told him, her tentative smile increasing when she realised, from his stunned expression, that this tall, handsome, clean-shaven man wasn't at all what he'd been expecting.

He'd been preparing himself for a drunk, a junkie, someone dangerous. Someone he could disapprove of.

Instead, he didn't seem to know what to make of him.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sergeant Austen," Jack said politely, letting go of her, and stepping forward to offer him his hand. "Kate's told me a lot about you."

"Likewise," he agreed as he accepted it, the wariness in his tone assuring him that this was more in response to the latter.

"I can see why you called him Jack Junior," he added to Kate, postponing his judgment, though she could see the tiny smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

It was the same smile he'd always gotten during her visits before she wheedled him into making pancakes for dinner, or taking her on a camping trip, when he was still trying to maintain the illusion that he was in charge.

"Katie? Would you give us a minute? I'd like to have a little chat with Jack if you don't mind," he said, glancing sidelong at her before he continuing to size Jack up, staring him down.

To his credit, Jack didn't break eye contact. "It's okay, Kate, just take J.J. and go get some coffee or something," he told her when she hesitated, not sure she liked the idea of them chatting without her. _About_ her. "I think there're a few things your father and I need to discuss."

She shot him a questioning look, wondering why he was going along with this, but when he failed to offer her an explanation, she decided that it might be best to let her father have his moment. Maybe then he would see what she saw and accept Jack.

"Be nice," she said, levelling him with a warning stare as she slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

J.J. was getting fussy after going all day without a proper nap, so she took him for a walk around the corridors, stopping once to change him before heading back to check on them.

While she was pretty sure that her father had no real intention of intimidating Jack, she couldn't help feeling confused when she pushed the door open in time to catch them shaking hands again, having apparently reached an understanding, most likely about her.

"What'd I miss?" she asked, hoping that one or both of them would clue her in as to the terms, but Jack just shrugged.

"Guy stuff," he told her with an evasive grin, and her father laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

"You remember what I said before?" he asked her, and she nodded. "Well I've decided he is."

* * *

More on Jack and Sam's conversation later, but first, another poll: The last stage of the plan, before Jack and Kate are in a postion to blackmail the Hanso Foundation, involves delivering the flash drives to the other survivors (Which will require them to visit at least Juliet, Sawyer and Hurley to explain what's happening). I can move straight on to that, starting with Hurley, or have them spend another chapter or two with Sam... ;) 


	30. Chapter 30

Thanks for the reviews. Sam was supposed to be in this chapter, but somehow it ended up becoming more about Jack learning about Kate and J.J.'s life with him... ;)

* * *

Chapter 30. Living Arrangements 

"What was that?" Kate insisted when she and Jack drifted back into the hallway, determined to get the truth out of him now that they were alone.

Her father's nurse had shooed them all out of the room while she changed his dressings, so they were taking the opportunity to go home and rest before returning to spend the evening with him.

"What was what?" Jack asked, the picture of innocence as he manoeuvred himself and their sleeping son into the back of a cab, but Kate wasn't prepared to let it go that easily.

"That thing with my dad," she explained so that he couldn't pretend to misunderstand, climbing in the opposite side. She rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me it was about sports."

"It was a private conversation, Kate," he reminded her, settling into his seat once she'd given the driver directions.

"About me," she argued, expecting him to look guilty, but he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with excluding her. In fact, she thought he even looked smug. "I wanna know what you said to him – a couple of weeks ago he didn't even want me speaking to you and now you guys are buddies?"

He sighed, shifting J.J. when he stirred, reflexively grasping the shoulder of his t-shirt. "I just told him he had nothing to worry about," he confessed, "that I wasn't going anywhere this time."

"That's it?" she checked, aware of how dubious she sounded. If that was all it was all he'd said, then why had it taken him so long to answer?

She had almost convinced herself to give him the benefit of the doubt when he smiled, the kind of entertained grin that made her want to hit him. "In a nutshell."

* * *

He unpeeled J.J.'s fingers, pressing them to his lips, when the cab drew up in front of their house, but Kate couldn't bring herself to take him, earning herself a confused look. 

"The metre's running, Kate," he reminded her, and she smiled, "That's why you should just come inside."

"Kate," he murmured, his eyes darting to the mirror to make sure the driver wasn't listening. "It was one thing for me to come to the hospital, but I don't think we should be flaunting the fact that we're together. It's not safe."

"I don't care about them watching us," she complained, forgetting to keep her voice down. "The only time I feel safe anymore is when I'm with you. Please Jack – I can't sleep without you."

Her words seemed to have the desired effect when he smiled. "Okay," he agreed, shifting J.J. as he reached to open his door, "but only because I promised your dad I'd look after you."

* * *

"What else did you promise?" Kate pressed, rummaging through her purse with her free hand once they'd paid the driver and collected their luggage. Jack had insisted on carrying it, which required her to take J.J.; she wished she'd thought to get her keys out while they were still in the cab. 

"What part of 'private conversation' is that you're having trouble with?" Jack asked, grinning, when she finally succeeded in unlocking the door.

"The 'private' part," she agreed, letting them inside, watching as he took it all in.

"This is where you live?" he asked, his eyes travelling around the tiny foyer, to the living room, which was still in shambles from the attempted kidnapping, all the way up to the landing. Setting their suitcases down, he picked up a framed picture of her as a child, before exchanging it for one of J.J.

It was all so familiar to her; it was strange to think he'd never seen any of it before. "This is it," she agreed, realising how different it was to what he was probably used to. He'd told her stories about the house he grew up in, but she had trouble reconciling them with reality. "It's not much, but it's home."

"It's nice," he told her, putting the picture back where he'd found it, and she figured that he was just being polite. At least he managed to avoid the word 'cosy'. "Is the nursery upstairs?"

He seemed surprised to discover that it was the same room she slept in, barely big enough to house a double bed, J.J.'s crib, and the dresser that held both their clothes. They hadn't realised just how small it was when they bought the change table, and as result, it was now jammed under the towel rack in the bathroom, where it went unused most of the time.

"What do you do for privacy?" Jack asked, hovering awkwardly just inside the door as he watched her set their son on the mattress, stripping him down to his undershirt and diaper.

"Privacy hasn't been much of an issue," she confessed, tossing his t-shirt and jeans into the hamper.

"You didn't see anyone while we were apart?" Jack asked quietly, and she realised that it was something they'd never discussed before.

"No," she assured him as she laid J.J. in his crib, straightening to look at him. "Did you?" She wasn't even sure she wanted the answer.

"No," he agreed with a feint smile. "I guess that makes us both pretty hopeless."

"Maybe," she agreed, moving over to him, slipping her arms around his neck. "Or maybe it just means this is right, and we're meant to be together." She bowed her forehead against his so that they were staring straight into each other's eyes. "I could never replace you, Jack – I hope you know that."

The strain dissolved from his features, and he smiled, pulling her against him as his arms went up around her waist. "You know," he said, moving in to kiss her, stopping just as their lips were about to touch. "When all this is over, we really have to do something about fixing your living arrangements."

* * *

The light was gone when she woke and so were Jack and J.J.; she was halfway down the stairs when she spotten them in the living room, J.J. penned with his blocks behind the overturned coffee table while Jack cleared away broken bits of furniture and glass. 

"You don't have to do that, you know," she announced, startling him, but when he glanced up at her, the look in his eyes assured her that as far as he was concerned, he did.

"I didn't want you walking past it every day," he told her as he went back to shoving a chair leg into a trash bag, and when she got closer, she noticed that the bloodstain on the carpet was now a light brown. She only recognised it because the image was still there, burned in her memory along with the one of her father hooked up to those machines.

He seemed convinced that it was his mess, just like the one they'd made by agreeing to the terms of their rescue. "Come on, I'll help you," she said, squeezing his arm as she picked up one of the bags and brushed past him to ground zero.

* * *

Next chapter: Back to the hospital... (I've worked it all out, and there should be around ten chapters left depending on how I divide the material, which means we should be seeing some "Hurley Time" in chapter 32...) ;) 


	31. Chapter 31

Thanks for the reviews. I just wanna remind everyone that I put a note in the summary as soon as I introduced spoilers from "The Economist" (Germany, Elsa, and Sayid having a classified job) and "Ji Yeon" (Sun and Jin living in Korea and Ji Yeon), so you were warned. Everything else is made up...;)

* * *

Chapter 31. The Talk

"So I hear you're moving in with Jack," Kate's father greeted her later that evening when she kissed his cheek and dropped into the chair by the bed.

Jack had offered to take J.J. straight to the parents' room; it was the first chance they'd had to discuss him alone.

She knew she hadn't mentioned it, which meant Jack must have during their 'private' chat. "Eventually," she agreed, afraid to sound too eager in case her father thought she was abandoning him in spite of everything he'd done for her and J.J. "I'm still gonna be there to take care of you when you get home."

She was so prepared for another warning speech that she was surprised when he argued, "Nonsense," his expression grave, stubborn, refusing to let her win this time. "I'll be fine on my own. And if I do need you for anything, you'll only be a phone call away."

He placed his hand over hers on the bed. "You have to do what's right for your boy, Katie, and that's being with his father – I see that now. I'm sorry I didn't before."

They were the words she'd been praying for since the night Jack reentered her life; squeezing back, she flashed him a tiny smile to let him know how much she appreciated hearing them now.

"I can never get him to admit it, but he's so good with him," she told him, remembering the day in the bar when Jack insisted that he was a lousy dad, just like his own. "Sometimes I even get jealous, because it doesn't seem to come as naturally to me as it does to him."

"Maybe, maybe not," her father agreed, letting go of her hand, "but you're still his mom. He needs both of you – that's why I think this is for the best. You need to get used to sharing him."

"That's exactly what Jack said," she admitted with a bashful grin, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted of her shoulders now that she knew he was going to be okay with it. She'd worked so hard to rebuild her relationship with her father – her real father; the last thing she wanted to do was destroy it again.

"I'll say this for him – he's a smart man. And he's got good taste," he teased her, chuckling when her cheeks flushed pink, and she ducked her head, embarrassed by the compliment.

They could have added good timing to the list when he entered the room just as they had lapsed into a comfortable silence, juggling J.J. with one arm as he closed the door in that effortless way she was so envious of.

"How's my boy?" her father asked, turning his attention on them as he held his arms out for his grandson.

"Still a little cranky," Jack confessed as he handed him over, pulling up a chair next to Kate's. "I think he needs another nap."

"He's had a busy couple of days," her father assured them, rubbing between his shoulder blades to settle him. He bent over him, putting his face close to his, as if speaking solely to him. "He's been to places I even haven't gotten around to visiting, haven't you little guy?" When J.J. stopped whimpering to look at him, he smiled, ruffling the curls at the back of his neck as he kissed his dark head.

"It's just a shame he won't remember them," Kate pointed out, expecting everyone to agree, but her father glanced up at her, surprised.

"Why not? You've got those passes – you can make sure he doesn't forget. God knows everyone here could use a vacation."

"Maybe," she agreed, even though she knew Jack wanted to go back to Sydney, and seeming to pick up on her reluctance to make any more concrete plans, her father chose that moment to change the subject.

"So you have the flash drive – what's next?" he asked, directing the question to Jack, who looked pleased at having his opinion sought when he could have gotten the information from Kate.

"We get copies to as many people as we can before the Hanso Foundation finds out," he explained, his confidence faltering when a broad grin crept over her father's features. "What? What would you do?"

There was a moment of tension, during which Kate was afraid her father was going to play the Sergeant card and outrank him, before he shook his head. "That's a good, solid plan, Jack. They teach you that in medical school?"

Jack laughed good-naturedly at her father's playful teasing, and Kate could tell that he was pleased at earning his approval, not just where she was concerned, but in general. If things had gone the other way, she knew he would have started having second thoughts about their relationship. "I don't think I need to tell you how fast you pick this stuff up when your life depends on it."

"No, I don't suppose you do," her father agreed, his light eyes twinkling with amusement.

Glancing from one to the other, noting their smiles, Kate could feel the unspoken agreement hanging in the air between them. "Okay," she piped up, "is someone gonna tell me what's with you two?"

When her father raised an eyebrow at Jack, taking his cue from him, she added, "Jack, why did you tell my dad we were moving in together?"

"He wanted to know how serious it was," he explained with a shrug, shooting him a helpless look. "She's been like this all day."

"I'm still here, you know," she reminded them, rolling her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh when her father came to his rescue.

"Why don't you give it a rest, honey?" he warned her, his tone firm, though he couldn't seem to keep the smirk off his face. "Let the man have his secrets. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

At this rate, their son would be in college before that happened; if she had to drop it, she wasn't going to do it without making her displeasure known. "You know," she told Jack, doing her best to sound wounded, "I really hope the next kid we have is a girl, because I'm gonna need someone on my side, especially if you're gonna get J.J. in on it too."

"Next kid?" her father repeated with a sharp look at Jack, and watching his expression become wary, Kate laughed at the realisation that this was one conversation he hadn't been game to share. "I hope you don't plan on getting my daughter pregnant again anytime soon, son, otherwise I may have to take back what I said about you being smart."

"And you…" he continued, rounding on her, and she felt her own grin fade. "You told me you were being careful this time – the last thing you need right now is another surprise."

"We are," she assured him quickly, careful not to look at Jack, though she was sure he must have flushed the same deep crimson. They were too old to be getting this talk from her father. "I just meant we talked about it, and we'd like it if we could give J.J. a little sister some day."

"In that case," he agreed with soft chuckle, letting them off the hook, "I hope when that day comes, you'll still let me babysit."

* * *

Next chapter: It's Hurley Time! (I think I'm gonna call it that too!) ;) 


	32. Chapter 32

Okay, so I'm going to attribute the decline in reviews to the fact that most of you are disappointed that I didn't reveal what was said between Jack and Sam. As you'll see, it wouldn't make any sense for Jack to tell Kate at this point, so I'm going to break formula and post a short flashback instead of the Hurley chapter. I've started writing it, and can have it up as soon as tomorrow, but if interest doesn't pick up, this will be the last update for a while. ;)

* * *

Chapter 32. Welcome To The Family

"_So you're Jack?" Sam repeated once Kate had closed the door behind her. _

_The man standing in front of him wasn't what he'd pictured all those times she'd tried to describe him, though one look at him assured him that he was indeed J.J.'s father. They had the same eyes, the same intelligent expression. The same smile._

"_So they tell me," Jack quipped with a nervous laugh, shoving his hands into his pockets._

_He didn't come across as arrogant, rather serious and unassuming, even a little sad; Sam liked him already, but he wasn't about to let him off the hook. "What do you do for a living, Jack? My daughter says you're a doctor?"_

"_A surgeon," he corrected him, making the rest of the conversation a little tricky, but it didn't take Sam long to figure out how to address this._

"_If you're a surgeon, I don't need to tell you that that stuff you've been taking can kill you," he pointed out, so that he wouldn't kid himself into thinking that he was ignorant of his drug problem._

"_I know. It almost did," Jack confessed as he sank into the chair nearest the bed, pushing his head into his hands. _

_When he lifted it again, Sam could see the shame and the guilt written across his features, and he felt his heart soften towards him. He didn't look like an addict; he looked like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. "I want you to know how sorry I am for putting Kate – and you – through that. I'm working on getting clean – I'll even go to rehab, if that's what it takes, just as soon as I can be sure she'll be safe."_

"_You'd do that for my daughter?" Sam asked, touched by his honesty, and the vulnerability he was allowing himself to show; more so when he answered, "I'd do anything for your daughter – and my son."_

"_This isn't just about doing the right thing, though, is it? You love her?" Sam checked, just in case he was only saying what he thought he wanted to hear. He couldn't bear the thought of him staying with Kate out of a sense of obligation when he knew how much she loved him._

_But he needn't have worried. "More than I've ever loved anyone," Jack assured him, and he knew, by the softness in his eyes, and in his tone, that he was telling the truth. "J.J. too. He's only been in my life a couple of weeks, and already I can't imagine not being there to see him grow up."_

"_So how serious would you say you were about your relationship with her?" Sam continued, though these words had already told him everything he needed to know. _

"_I've convinced her to move in with me once this is over, and if it works out, with your permission, I'd like to ask her to marry me," Jack told him, less confident now, as if afraid that he would refuse to give it to him under the circumstances._

_He didn't seem like the kind of man who could go ahead with it if he did. _

_As sad as the thought of her and J.J. leaving him made him, it was better than anything he could have hoped to hear. "That serious, huh?" Sam teased him._

"_That serious," Jack agreed with a grin, sensing that he had as good as given him his blessing._

"_Can you promise me that you won't give me a reason to regret it? That you'll take care of her and that beautiful little boy of yours?" Sam asked him, though he no longer had any doubts that he would._

"_I'm not going anywhere this time – not unless it's what she really wants," Jack promised solemnly._

"_Well then, Jack," Sam agreed, holding out his hand, just as the door opened. "I guess I should say, welcome to the family."_

* * *

Next chapter: Hurley and another encounter with someone from the Hanso Foundation... ;) 


	33. Chapter 33

Thanks for the reviews. :) You know what? It just occured to me that J.J. has become a kind of mascot for the survivors -- everything they've done has been for him and Jack (It's about time _someone_ did something for Jack!). Oh, and any similiarities to "The Beginning of the End" are unintentional... ;)

* * *

Chapter 33. Hurley Time!

"Will you stay over tonight?" Kate asked as they headed back to her car later that evening. She would have preferred to spend the night at the hospital, surrounded by strangers and bright lights, but visiting hours were over, and they'd been instructed to go home.

When Jack didn't answer, still not convinced that they should tempt fate, she added, "They were watching us in Sydney, Jack – they know we didn't listen."

The senses she'd honed as a fugitive took over and she counted at least two dozen cars still in the parking lot; a couple more in the adjoining streets. They all looked empty, but who could tell in this light? Especially with the glare of the streetlights beating off the windshields.

"It makes me sick to think that they could be out there, waiting for right moment to try to take him again." Shuddering at the thought, she wrapped J.J. in her coat, clutching his sleeping form tighter against her. At moments like these, she found herself wishing that she could have kept him inside her, where no one could get to him, at least not without killing her first.

"I promise you I'm never gonna let that happen, Kate," Jack assured her, slipping his arm around her waist, hugging them both to his side. "They're not gonna touch a hair on his head."

"Does that mean you're coming back to my place?" she checked, leaning into him gratefully, relieved when he confirmed, "It means I'm not letting him out of my sight."

* * *

While Kate slept sounder that night with Jack's arms around her, her presence didn't seem to have the same soothing effect on him. When she met him down in the kitchen for breakfast the next morning, his dark eyes were underscored by translucent circles, reminding her of all the times he was up all night worrying back on the island.

"You look tired," she told him, brushing his forehead with the back of her knuckles once she'd kissed him good morning. "Did you sleep at all?"

"I'll sleep better once I know everyone is safe," he assured her, which only worried her more.

"Who knows when that'll be?" she reminded him as she poured herself a cup of coffee and pulled up a chair next to his. "It could take us weeks to get all those flash drives out." He was slumped with one hand on his neck, feeding J.J.; she took the spoon from him to give him a break.

"That's why I was thinking we could get rid of another one today," he agreed, sculling the remains of his coffee, and pushing himself to his feet to get another one.

"Who else is here?" she asked, stopping to give him a curious look. As far as she knew, they were the only ones still in L.A. Everyone else seemed to have scattered.

"Hurley."

As soon as he said it, she remembered that he was a native, just like Jack. All of his family was still here. "Any idea where he lives?" she asked, relieved that it was only a short trip this time.

It took Jack a moment to answer, and when he did, it was with fresh guilt. "Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute."

* * *

"I can't believe Hurley's in an institution," Kate said as they pulled up at the gates of an imposing, prison like compound. She wasn't sure how comfortable she felt about taking J.J. inside, but with her father still in hospital, there was no one to babysit him. Jack's mother didn't even know he existed. Nor was she supposed to.

"He told me he spent some time in one before the crash," Jack confessed as they signed in and collected their visitor's passes. "I guess he couldn't cope with being back in the real world."

Hurley was watching TV in the common room when a nurse showed them inside; the colour drained from his face when he saw them, and he blinked a couple of times, as if hoping that they wouldn't be there when he opened his eyes.

Unfortunately for him, he wasn't hallucinating.

"What're you doing here, man?" he hissed to Jack when he joined them at one of the tables. "If they find out you've been to see me…"

"It's okay, Hurley," Jack assured him, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, and Kate couldn't help feeling disappointed at receiving another unfavourable welcome from someone who'd been a good friend to both of them. "You're safe in here."

"Why do you think I let them put me back?" Hurley agreed in a tone that implied he thought this should be obvious.

When an uncomfortable silence fell over them, his gaze shifted to Jack's left, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't going anytime soon. "Hey, Kate," he said with a wary smile. "Who's the little dude?"

"This is Jack Junior, otherwise known as J.J.," she told him with a grin, enjoying the way his sad puppy dog eyes lit up in amazement.

"No way – he's yours?" he checked, looking to Jack for confirmation.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, smiling at Kate. "He's ours."

The words had barely left his mouth when Hurley leapt to his feet, laughing and throwing his arms around each of them, almost squishing J.J. in the process. "Sorry little guy," he told him with a sheepish grin, patting the top of his head. "I always knew she loved you, dude," he added to Jack, composing himself when it began to look as if he might actually belong there.

"Wait, isn't that against the rules?" he asked, frowning at them when he remembered where they were, and why he hadn't been pleased to see them. "What if they find out?"

"That's why we have this," Jack agreed, taking a flash drive similar to the one Christine had given them out of his pocket, and sliding it across the table to him.

"What is it?" Hurley asked, turning it over in his hands as if it were some kind of puzzle.

"Proof that the people who rescued us aren't as good as they want everyone to think they are," Kate explained, beaming at Jack. It was going to work. It had to.

"If any of them give you trouble, you tell them you have it – and that you're not the only one," Jack added, and a few seconds later, he was rewarded with another crushing bear hug.

"Thank you, oh thank you," Hurley said, squeezing him until he coughed in protest, and he was forced to let go. "You guys have no idea what this means to me."

* * *

After spending another hour with Hurley, catching up, they left the institution in higher spirits than they'd arrived.

"Did you see the look on his face when he found out you were J.J.'s dad?" Kate asked as they headed back to the hospital to check in with her father. It was nice to know that their friends were cheering them on, not just in their fight to restore things to the way they were, but their relationship, though they hadn't been to see everyone yet.

"Our sixth day on the island, he asked me if we were gonna move into a cave together," Jack confessed, sharing her grin, "So I guess it's fair to say he called it."

His smile faded as he caught sight of something in the rear view mirror. "Am I paranoid, or has that car been on our ass since we left Santa Rosa?"

"They're following us," Kate agreed when she saw the one he was looking at. "Turn here – maybe we can lose them."

He did as she suggested, turning right into an empty stretch of road, but rather than sail harmlessly past, the other car swung around the corner after them, clipping Kate's taillight.

"What the hell was that?" she cried when it dropped back to a safer distance, turning to check on J.J., who was beginning to whimper.

"I have no idea," Jack agreed, but before either of them had time to recover, the air was filled with the sound of someone revving their engine, and the screech of tyres as it slammed into them again. "Okay, now tell me that was an accident."

J.J.'s whimpers had escalated to a terrified wail; reaching into the back, Kate fumbled with his seatbelt, but Jack grabbed her shoulder to stop her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Kate – I don't know how much longer I can stay in control if they keep that up." J.J.'s face was an angry puce as he continued to scream, and she could see that it was affecting his concentration. Any minute now they were going to crash.

"I can't leave him back there," she cried, shaking his hand off when the car moved in again. Throwing off her own seatbelt, she finally managed to free their son from his car seat, pulling him into her lap just as they were hit for a third time, the impact shattering the back window, sending shards of glass raining down over the backseat.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're safe now," she whispered as she hugged him to her chest, but her relief at getting him out unhurt didn't prevent her from peeking behind her, to see what the other car was doing.

"I think they're giving up," she announced, letting out a sigh of relief as it fell back, then disappeared.

"Is he okay?" Jack asked her once they'd resumed a normal speed, eager to leave their pursuers as far behind as they could.

"Just shaken up," she agreed, rocking J.J. against her to get him to settle.

"You?" he continued, but before she could answer, the message tone on her cell went off.

She thought it might be father wanting to know why they weren't back yet, but the number was one she'd never seen before. "It says we've be warned," she read, closing it and dropping it back into her purse, alarmed when she realised who must have sent it.

"I'm taking you back to the hospital and you're gonna stay there," Jack told her in a tone that warned her not to argue with him.

Too bad. "What're you gonna do?" she pressed, rubbing J.J.'s back when he hiccoughed, too exhausted to cry anymore.

"I'm gonna finish this – alone," he insisted, but she shook her head.

"We're in this together," she reminded him. "I thought we agreed."

"You saw what just happened – our son could have been killed," he said, his eyes pleading with her to listen to him just this once. "I won't let them hurt you, Kate – either of you."

"How can you stop them if we're not with you?" she pointed out, pleased when he relented. She wasn't going to let them hurt him either.

"Fine, you can stay, but we need to get out of L.A. – make it harder for them to find us," he told her seriously, and this time, she didn't hesitate before agreeing.

"Where did you have in mind?" she asked him, apprehension creeping into the pit of her stomach when he answered.

"Miami."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack, Kate and J.J. go to Miami see Juliet (and I'm going to try to resist the urge to do one of the infamous Lost crossovers!)... ;) 


	34. Chapter 34

Thanks for the reviews. Once I factored in the aftermath of the accident, this chapter ended up longer than I thought it would, so Juliet doesn't come into it until near the end. The good news (no pun intended) is that she'll be in it a lot more next chapter. Oh and some of you asked which crossover I was trying to resist: if you remember, Miami is the home of a certain flashback character I'm known to have a slight obsession with... ;)

* * *

Chapter 34. Five Minutes 

J.J. was whining again when Jack eased the car into a space outside the hospital.

"We should get him to the ER," he told Kate after checking him over as best as he could with him being so uncooperative, the words setting her already fragile nerves on edge.

"Why? He's fine," she protested, her voice rising in panic as she wondered what he'd found that she missed. She was his mother; she was supposed to know if there was something wrong. "There isn't a scratch on him."

"He's crying a lot, which could be a sign that his injuries are internal," he explained in a clinical tone that made it hard to tell what he was thinking or feeling. "Or it could just mean he's scared," he added when he saw how alarmed she was. "It's hard to tell when we have no way of gauging his pain."

He opened his door and climbed out, careful not to jolt him too much; as she slid out after him, she noticed that the trunk of her car was crumpled like an accordion, the rear bumper twisted and detached so that it scraped the surface of the road. A few more inches, a few more seconds to get that seatbelt open, and they wouldn't be taking him to the hospital.

She was still shaking as she watched Jack vanish into a sea of people, following the nurse he sent through to where the doctor was checking J.J.'s vitals, feeling his abdomen, rattling off words and phrases she didn't understand. She wanted to demand a translation from Jack, but all she could think about was how tiny their son looked sitting in his diaper on that huge bed.

"What's going on? Where're they taking him?" she asked, grabbing Jack's elbow when it looked like they were preparing to move.

"She wants to send him upstairs for a CT, just as a precaution, because he was so close to the point of impact," he told her, those two letters scaring her more than anything else that had happened so far.

"A CT? That's a kind of test, right? Will it hurt him?"

"He'll be under sedation," he assured her in what she figured was supposed to be a soothing tone, but it only made whole thing seem more dramatic.

"Sedation?"

"Propofol. They use it on kids all the time. It's very mild – wears off in a couple of minutes. It's the only way to make sure he holds still," he explained, rubbing her shoulder in absent strokes, distracted when he saw that they were now ready to leave. "I can go with him now, or stay here with you."

"Go," she urged him without realising that she'd made a decision, and he gave her a brief reassuring kiss before racing off alongside them.

When they were gone, she headed up to the paediatric ward where they were taking him for recovery, pacing the waiting room until Jack joined her, his smile one of pure relief.

"How is he?" she asked him, even though she could see that there was nothing to worry about.

"He's great. A little drowsy, but that's normal."

"They didn't find anything?"

"Nothing that shouldn't be there. He's perfect, Kate," he agreed, laughing when, with a broad grin, she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck.

"That's good, because this family's had enough of hospitals," she told him, still holding onto him when they both settled down.

"It's too bad you feel that way," he said, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her, "because I was hoping you'd stay here with J.J. while I take care of a couple of things."

"What kind of things?" she asked, frowning when he stepped back.

"Travel arrangements. I'll put your car in to be fixed while I'm out."

Maybe it was just the accident, but the idea of him leaving without her, even to run errands, worried her. "Just promise me you'll be careful, okay? Remember what I said."

"I'll see you in about an hour," he agreed, kissing her one last time before he headed off in the direction of the lift.

J.J. started fussing again when he spotted her through the bars of the hospital crib, playing up to the attention as she scooped him into her arms, kissing every part of him that she could reach. He seemed no worse for the experience, so as soon as the nurse assured her that it was safe to remove him from the PICU, she took him to her father's room.

"Is everything okay, honey? You're looking a little pale," he said when she handed him over and collapsed into her usual chair, closing her eyes, basking in the moment of peace.

"We just got into a little fender bender on the way over – Jack's putting the car in the shop," she told him, deciding not to worry him with the truth now that there was no permanent harm done. He would only try to talk her out of going to Miami, and that was one trip she couldn't allow Jack to make on his own.

When he returned a while later, she was surprised to see that he had their luggage with him.

"We're going straight to the airport," he told her once they'd finished saying goodbye to her father, and were in a cab, heading in the opposite direction to her house.

"What time is our flight?" she asked him, wishing that he'd at least factored in time for them to go home and unwind first. They needed it after the morning they'd had.

"Whenever we're ready," he confessed, and she realised that she must have given him a strange look when he added, "I booked a private jet."

"Aren't those things ridiculously expensive?" she pointed out, surprised to hear that he'd taken it upon himself to do something so extravagant. It wasn't like him to throw money around.

"They're also discreet," he reminded her, and listening to his reasoning, she decided that it made sense. He wasn't taking any more chances, especially where J.J. was concerned. "We can't afford to keep using commercial airlines with those bastards tracking our every movement, so I paid cash, convinced them not to mention our names in the flight plan…"

"Wow, for someone who hates it as much as you say you do, you're really getting into this spy crap," she teased him, feeling more enthusiastic about the trip by the minute. At the very least, it would be a new experience; it might even be fun.

She was prepared for the interior of the jet to be nice, but she didn't realise how nice until she mounted the steps to the cabin. "It seems like a shame to waste to this on delivery work – you sure we can't just take off to Paris for the weekend?" she joked as she took in the reclining leather seats, the fold out tables, the state of the art entertainment system.

She succeeded in lifting Jack's mood when he laughed, but his wistfulness wasn't lost on her. "I guess you're just gonna have to settle for the beach."

An hour into the flight, lunch was brought out to them, and after they'd eaten, Jack tilted his chair back, and Kate curled against him, watching the countryside drift by while J.J. dozed in his lap. It was all so relaxing; romantic, even; that she stopped wishing she were somewhere else, worrying about what awaited them on the other side.

It was five years since she'd been to Miami; when the plane landed, and they stepped down into the humid air of the runway, she was surprised to see how much it had changed. There were skyscrapers in places she didn't remember, making the city look taller, more like Chicago or New York.

"Do we have an address?" she asked, eager to get the encounter over with, not wanting to linger there too long, but at the same time, she found herself bristling at the thought of Jack keeping in contact with her, especially during their separation. She wanted to be the only one he was prepared to break the rules for.

"Last time I spoke to her she was moving back in with her sister," he told her, and she relaxed. That had to be back at the docks, when she'd last seen her too. "She told me they had an apartment right on the beach."

They couldn't find anything under J. Burke in the phonebook, so Jack suggested they try Carlson, Juliet's maiden name; when he went on to tell her that R could be Juliet's sister, Rachel, Kate couldn't help feeling uncomfortable about how much he seemed to know about her. At some point during their time on the island, he seemed to have gleaned her entire life story, while there was still so much of Kate's he didn't know, including the eight months she'd spent living right here in this very city.

It was early evening by the time they found the right building, which meant that there was little chance of dropping the flash drive off with her sister while she was at work; Kate had spent so much time reminding herself to act civil that she was surprised when a little boy came to the door. For a moment she was sure that he must be Juliet's son; he had the same pale hair, the same blue eyes; until he shot off down the hall singing, "Mommy! Aunt Julie! Visitors!"

"That must be Julian," Jack whispered to Kate as if she should somehow know who that was. "Juliet's nephew," he explained when she raised an eyebrow at him. "Juliet helped her sister get pregnant with him before the Others recruited her."

Hearing what a saint she was in his eyes just made Kate dislike her even more, so she kept her mouth shut, letting him think that she was impressed. What irritated her the most was that she actually was.

"Jack? Kate? I had no idea you were in Miami."

A jarringly familiar voice snapped Kate out of these thoughts; she tore her eyes from Jack in time to see Juliet emerge from somewhere behind her nephew, her words friendly while the thin line of her lips suggested that she would have preferred it stayed that way.

"Can we come in? There's something we need to talk to you about," Jack explained, and her eyes shifted from him, to Kate, down to J.J. and back again, before she replied, "I'm not sure that would be smart, Jack. You might not care that they're watching, but I just got my life back. I have no intention of pissing them off."

Jack looked taken aback, surprised that she didn't seem happier to see him. "Five minutes," he insisted. "Then you really will have your life back."

Juliet glanced over at Kate again and a slow smile crept over her face. "Sure. Why not?" she agreed after a moment. "I think I can spare five minutes for an old friend."

* * *

Next chapter: More Juliet (including her reaction to J.J. and their relationship) and more jealous Kate (Gratifying, isn't it! Or it would be if it weren't for those _other_ spoilers!)... ;) 


	35. Chapter 35

Thanks for the reviews. For some reason, this chapter took me forever to write, but it actually made me feel better about a couple of things (For now!)... ;)

* * *

Chapter 35. The Other Woman

"I take it this isn't a social call," Juliet said, a hint of accusation in her tone that Kate was sure must be directed at Jack, as she ushered them through to an immaculate modern living room overlooking the water.

It was exactly what Kate had come to expect from her; everything about her was so perfect, from her starched blue blouse, to her spotless apartment, which, for some reason, didn't even seem to suffer from the usual clutter that came from having a small child in the house. It made her wonder if Jack wouldn't have preferred that life: clean, neat, simple; everything that theirs wasn't.

An older woman who bore a striking resemblance to Juliet, though not as pretty, was curled up on the couch, reading with Julian.

"Rae, I'd like you to meet Jack and Kate – from the island," Juliet announced, and she glanced up from the book, taking in first Jack, then Kate and J.J. It might just have been her imagination, but Kate thought the look she gave Jack was curious, appraising, while the one she gave her was slightly disdainful.

"Hey, I'm Rachel – Juliet's big sister," she told them, reaching over to shake each of their hands. "And this is Julian – my little miracle baby," she added, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Her attention shifted to J.J., squirming on Kate's hip, eager to be put down somewhere, and she shot Juliet a questioning look, turning back to Jack when she shrugged. "Who's yours?" she asked, doing her best to sound innocent.

"We call him J.J.," Jack replied, looking almost apologetic as he glanced over at Juliet to see her reaction.

His apparent guilt at choosing her only made Kate more territorial. "Short for Jack Junior," she told Juliet, but if this information surprised her, she didn't let on, her expression remaining neutral, polite.

Picking up on the tension in the room, Rachel tossed the book aside and jumped to her feet, pulling her son up with her. "We're gonna go pick up some dinner," she announced. "Thai food okay with everyone?"

"We're not staying," Kate insisted, shuddering at the thought of sharing a meal with them while they continued to make her feel like the other woman where Jack was concerned.

"That's up to you," Juliet said, raising a thin eyebrow in surprise at her outburst. "You're welcome to stay."

When she looked to Jack for his answer, Kate realised that her invitation had more to do with wanting to catch up with him than anything else.

"Sure," he agreed with a warm smile that made Kate want to hit him. Couldn't he see how uncomfortable they were making her? "There's nowhere else we need to be."

* * *

And so it was that Kate found herself sitting with J.J. in Julian's old high chair beside her, poking at her plate with a fork while Jack detailed their mission to Juliet and Rachel. He seemed to be enjoying himself; she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him so lively. It was a long time since he'd been anybody's hero. 

"You went all the way to Australia to talk some editor into giving you a book?" Rachel repeated, wrinkling her nose, incredulous, though no one could deny the fact that she was also impressed. "What's in it? The meaning of life? Proof God exists?"

"You know, with everything else that's been going on, I haven't had time to finish reading it," Jack confessed with a sheepish look, and they all laughed.

Seeing how well he got along with Juliet's sister, and how much she seemed to like him, Kate scowled, hating his easy manner, and the fact that he always had to be so damn charming. It wasn't making Rachel like her any more.

"Call me crazy, but I'm never setting foot on another plane, ship or submarine again – no matter how much you pay me," Juliet said during the next break in the conversation, grinning at Rachel as she added, "I'm going to stay right here on the beach until I die."

She smiled at Jack, and he smiled in return.

"Sounds great," he told her, and with horror, Kate realised that she was flirting with him, and he was flirting right back.

"We should get going," she told him, dropping her napkin and standing up, determined to get him out of there before Juliet actually thought she had a chance with him. Not that he'd done much to discourage her. "It's past J.J.'s bedtime, and we still have to find a hotel."

Obediently, Jack got up too, moving to unbuckle their son, until Rachel said, "You should just stay here," looking to Juliet for back up.

"She's right – it's late," Juliet agreed swallowing and wiping her mouth with her own napkin, gesturing to where her copy of the flash drive lay beside her plate. "Besides, it's the least we can do."

As well intentioned as the offer sounded, Kate couldn't help feeling suspicious. Had she and Rachel planned it this way? Was she using it as an opportunity to steal some time alone with Jack once she was asleep? "Thanks, but you look like you've got a full house already," she insisted, but Juliet shook her head.

"No, it's fine – I'll sleep in with Rachel, you and J.J. can have my room, and Jack can take the couch…"

She trailed off, watching the two of them exchange wary glances, and Kate got the sense that this was the reaction she was expecting. They hadn't filled her in on the particulars of their relationship; as far as Kate was concerned, it was none of her business; but no one was that naïve, at least not Juliet.

She was testing them.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she corrected herself, a sharp edge creeping into her tone, "I just assumed that since the rules were pretty clear, maybe you weren't actually together… But you know what? It doesn't matter."

Clearly it did, Kate thought, as she disappeared down the hall to finish sorting out the sleeping arrangements with her sister, or else she wouldn't sound so offended. Why should she care if they betrayed their agreement, or if anyone came after them as a result? It had nothing to do with her.

* * *

She was still fuming when Juliet left them to their own devices, wishing that she hadn't chosen her own room for them to sleep in. Seeing the neatly hung clothes in the closet, the bookcase full of well worn books, smelling the scent of her perfume in the air, made it hard to stop thinking about her; harder still for her to stop thinking about Jack thinking about her. 

"What's going on with you, Kate?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the mattress, watching her slam things around as she got ready for bed. "I hate to say it, but you were pretty rude tonight."

"I was rude? What was all that stuff about you sleeping on the couch?" she hissed, feeling like she was ready to explode.

"It was an honest mistake," Jack insisted, keeping his voice low, which only made her madder. Of course he wouldn't want Juliet to know they were fighting about her. "She probably just didn't wanna be presumptuous and make us uncomfortable."

"No, it wasn't! She did it on purpose," she told him, fighting back bitter tears at his unwillingness to admit the truth. He didn't seem to care that she'd been ostracised and humiliated by Juliet and her sister. He hadn't even noticed. "Can't you see that she's still in love with you?"

"That's what this is about?" he said, getting up to check on J.J. when he started to whimper inside the travel crib Rachel had leant them. "You think there's something going on between us?"

"Well is there?" she pressed in a more reasonable tone, doing her best not to frighten him again once Jack had him settled. "Because it seems like you never really got over it."

"I never got over it, because there was nothing to get over," he confessed. "I never loved her. I wanted to – I tried – but it wasn't the same."

The same as what, she wanted to ask him, thinking she knew what he was getting at, but she still wasn't convinced. "I should just believe you? I saw you kiss her," she reminded him. "It didn't look like nothing."

"You also know that you were the one I said I love you too, Kate – after she kissed me – even though I didn't think you loved me back," he told her, moving over to her.

"You wanna turn this back on me? At least you know what happened between me and Sawyer," she retorted, tired of it always coming down to that. Why couldn't he ever just let it go?

"And I wish I didn't," he agreed, his voice so soft that she almost wasn't sure that was what she was hearing, and she stared at him, stunned. She knew he was hurt, but he'd never been this open about it before. "You have to know that whatever happened – or didn't happen – with Juliet, it's over," he continued, and she realised that for the same reason, he wasn't going to tell her what that was.

"I'm doing this for you – so I can be with you," he told her softly, taking hold of her wrists to make sure that she was listening. "You're the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with, Kate."

As hard as she tried, she just couldn't hold onto her anger; not when he was being so charming. "Was that – was that a proposal, Jack?" she gasped, too surprised even to try. It was the last thing she'd expected to hear when she decided to confront him about Juliet.

"Yeah, I guess, in a way, it was," he agreed with a bashful smile, shifting his hands to her hips, tracing her sides with his fingers. "I know things are kind of a mess now, but I wanna marry you someday, when all this is over."

"So ask me again then," she told him as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him down to kiss her.

* * *

Next chapter: A little bit more Juliet, and some Sawyer! ;) 


	36. Chapter 36

Thanks for the reviews. I know some of you aren't sure about Juliet's behaviour last chapter, so I'll try to explain. Basically, the last time Juliet saw Jack they were warned not to make contact with anyone from the island. Naturally, she assumed that that was why she hadn't heard from him in three years, until he showed up on her doorstep with Kate and a baby, and she realised how stupid she was to think that he'd actually given her a second thought. So some of her coldness was real, but if you look back, you'll see that she was never actually rude: given Kate's attitude towards her, you had to take most of what she said and did at face value. It was just another one of my exercises in perspective... ;)

* * *

Chapter 36. Closure 

Despite his reassuring words, the thought of Jack alone with Juliet still made Kate uncomfortable when she woke the next morning to find him already up. She felt better when she saw that he'd taken their son with him; catching sight of herself in the mirror, she raked her fingers self-consciously through her hair as she left the bedroom, freezing when she heard voices.

Creeping forward to the end of the hallway, she saw them sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee together, Juliet in her work clothes with J.J. seated on her lap. Watching her smile and duck her head to whisper something in his ear, Kate felt a pang of fresh irritation, hating how comfortable she looked with her family, until she got close enough to overhear their conversation.

"He's beautiful, Jack," Juliet said, her expression wistful as she shifted her eyes back to him. "You should be proud."

"It was stupid – seeing Kate when I wasn't supposed to, getting her pregnant – but it's still the best thing I've ever done," he confessed with a grin, reaching over to stroke the back of J.J.'s head, and Kate found herself grinning too.

"I'm just glad you're happy," Juliet told him in a soft voice, and for the first time, Kate actually felt bad for her, especially when Jack supplied, "Even if it's not with you?"

"Yeah," she agreed with a sad smile, doing her best to sound sincere. "You're a good man, Jack – if anyone deserves to be, it's you."

Remembering Juliet's bitter words the from night before, _"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed that since the rules were pretty clear, maybe you weren't actually together…"_ Kate decided that she'd been too harsh in her assessment of her. She wasn't interfering in their relationship; she was just trying to understand why Jack hadn't chosen her. Why she wasn't worth the risk. It made Kate feel ashamed that she couldn't find it in her heart to be more forgiving when hers wasn't the one that was broken.

"Morning," she greeted them, coming out of the shadows, and when they turned to acknowledge her, Juliet's expression was slightly guilty as she moved to pass J.J. back to Jack.

"I think he likes you," Kate told her with a smile as she moved over to join them, nodding to her son and Juliet looked startled, then pleased.

"I like him too," she agreed, with a warm grin.

* * *

Juliet gave them a ride to the airport on her way to the fertility clinic, and after saying their goodbyes, they boarded another jet to Knoxville, which was the best lead they had on Sawyer's whereabouts. As far as Kate knew, he still had an aunt there; she figured that he must have made contact with her at some point after the rescue. She might even have an address for them, assuming that he'd remained in one place. 

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Jack asked, dubious, as he turned into a dirt road lined with dilapidated trailers, the little gardens and brightly coloured deckchairs doing nothing to make the neighbourhood more cheerful.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed, sad that Sawyer had been forced to live somewhere so depressing. Her family had never had much growing up either, but he looked like he'd had even less.

"That one," she told him, pointing to one near the end. It was kept better than most of the others, but the faded wooden porch made it obvious that it hadn't moved in decades. "I remember him describing it once."

She hadn't meant for this to make him jealous, but she could tell by the hard line of his jaw that didn't like being reminded of the fact that she and Sawyer had been on such intimate terms. She was about to give him the same speech he'd given her, about that being in the past, when to her surprise, the door opened, and Sawyer emerged carrying a trash bag.

"I guess that makes things easy," Jack said, watching him step down from the porch, and deposit it into the metal trashcans between his aunt's trailer and the next, his stunned expression mirroring her own. He killed the engine, but before he could get out, Kate put out a hand to stop him.

"Why don't you let me take this one?" she told him, reaching for the door handle, the sharp look he gave her making her feel guilty when she realised how he would interpret her reluctance to let him tag along.

"Why don't you want me to talk to him, Kate?"

"It's not that I don't want you to talk to him," she assured him quickly, wishing that she could avoid this encounter too. It would be easier to let him deal with it. "I just think he might be embarrassed if he sees you here."

She held out her palm for the flash drive, and with a sigh, he passed it over to her, his hand clasping hers for a few seconds longer than was needed.

"I'll be back soon," she told him, stroking the side of his jaw with her free one, reaching up to graze his lips when she saw how wary he looked. "Wait for me, okay?"

Before he could change his mind, she climbed out of the car, making her way up to the porch, conscious the whole time that Jack was watching her.

"Freckles?" Sawyer said, his eyebrows lifting in surprise when he saw her. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?" He wiped his hands on his jeans, scanning the car park, his eyes falling on the rental, conspicuous amid all the beat up old pickups and station wagons, before returning to hers. He didn't seem to recognise Jack.

"You, actually," she told him, regretting it when his breath hitched, his eyes hopeful as he waited for her to go on. She shifted her weight, glancing back at the car, hoping that it was too far away for Jack to pick up on this. The last thing she wanted was another fight, this time about Sawyer.

"I have something for you," she added to break the uncomfortable silence that followed, offering him the flash drive.

He picked it up out of her palm, turning it over with a perplexed look. "Okay, I give up – what is it?" he asked, growing impatient when he couldn't seem to make any sense out of it.

"It's a flash drive," she explained, smiling despite herself. He hadn't changed much.

"I know that – what's on it?" he insisted.

Still as belligerent as ever.

"Blackmail material, so we don't have to play by their rules anymore," she confessed, and a slow smile spread over his face. "I hear it's an interesting read."

"Does that mean you're stickin' around for a visit?" he asked her, flashing his dimples as his smile turned flirtatious.

"Sawyer…" she began, trailing off when she didn't know what to tell him; she was still trying to think of the least humiliating way to shoot him down when she heard the car door slam, and they both turned to see Jack coming towards them with J.J.

"You and Jacko, huh?" Sawyer observed his expression shifting from one of realisation to acceptance as it hit him that she was there for business and not pleasure. "I shoulda known." He cocked his head at J.J. "Kid yours?"

"Yeah," she agreed, understanding now why Jack had looked so guilty the day before. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him again. "I'm sorry, Sawyer."

"Why? Looks like you got what you wanted," he told her, an edge of bitterness creeping into his tone as he moved forward to shake Jack's hand, doing his best to save face. "Howdy, Doc – welcome to Casa de Sawyer."

* * *

Next chapter: Sawyer decides to help out, and Jack and Kate go back to L.A (Only four more chapters to go!)... ;) 


	37. Chapter 37

Thanks for the reviews. It's a good thing there's only three chapters left, because I'm really coming to hate this story -- for some reason, this chapter was extremely difficult to write... ;)

* * *

Chapter 37. Trust 

"This plan to cut those sons of bitches down to size yours, Doc?" Sawyer asked Jack after they moved their conversation to the corner booth of a nearby diner. He seemed more relaxed now that they were in a neutral setting, one that didn't make him feel like more of a loser than Kate was sure he already must after learning that they were together.

As disappointed as he was, she noticed that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off J.J.; as she spooned strained carrots into his mouth, she was conscious of Sawyer staring at them, watching their interaction. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and it made her uneasy: was he finally regretting all those negative things he'd said to her about having a baby, or did he still feel like she'd betrayed him by wanting something different? Something more than what he was offering?

"I wish I could say it was, but it's the work of a few people, actually," Jack confessed with an embarrassed laugh, either oblivious to Sawyer's frequent glances at her and J.J, or deliberately shutting them out. "Sayid was the one who suggested we go after the book."

"Sayid? You talked to him?" Sawyer repeated, tearing his eyes away from them, doing his best not to look too interested as a hint of nostalgia crept into his tone, reminding them of how cut off he'd been.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, taking a sip of his coffee. "We've seen a bunch of the others. We just got back from visiting Juliet in Miami."

Just as Kate had come to expect, Sawyer couldn't let this go without comment. "That musta been fun," he said, catching her eye, the corners of his lips twisting into a smirk, bringing out his dimples.

"It was – we even stayed the night," she shot back with a superior smile, and he just raised a dubious eyebrow that seemed to say, "I'll bet," in response.

Jack glanced from one to the other, picking up on this silent exchange, his expression wary, but didn't say anything.

"So how many of those things you got left to deliver?" Sawyer asked to break the awkward silence that followed, returning his attention to Jack.

Jack made a quick mental calculation. "Three – Sayid, Desmond and Sun and Jin," he told him, checking his watch, directing his next words at Kate. "In fact, we should probably be heading out. If we leave now, we can be in Korea by the time Jin gets home from work."

She had hoped to get a decent night's sleep before embarking on another round the world trip, but Jack seemed determined to get it over with; with a sigh, she slid the last spoonful of carrots into J.J.'s mouth and stood, dropping the empty jar and spoon back into the diaper bag.

"Or you could let someone else finish up," Sawyer pointed out when he noted how reluctant she was, shifting uncomfortably when they both turned to stare at him in surprise.

"Thanks, Sawyer, but we've got it," Jack assured him, lifting J.J. into his arms, touching Kate's shoulder to let her know that it was time to go, and her heart sank until Sawyer insisted, "You never were much for delegating, were you, Doc? You sure you really wanna do all that again?"

He jerked his head at J.J., who didn't seem happy about having his lunch cut short. He was frowning and making the whining noise that Kate had discovered came whenever he was trying to decide whether or not to cry. "Besides, you got your kid to think about…"

As if to illustrate his point, J.J. gave a particularly violent squirm, kicking his legs out, and for a moment, Kate was afraid that Jack wouldn't be able to hold onto him. "You really wanna help out?" he asked Sawyer, bouncing J.J. to get him to settle, putting his other hand on his back to steady him.

"Not like I got anythin' better to do," Sawyer told him, downplaying his enthusiasm as usual. "Hell, if it'll get me outta the trailer for a coupla days…"

Still not convinced, Jack looked to Kate to see what she thought, and she nodded.

"I think it's a good idea," she agreed, flashing Sawyer a grateful smile, eager to get back into something resembling a normal routine.

Jack considered this for a moment, and then his face broke into a grin as he reached into his pocket for the remaining flash drives. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

"I thought you were gonna stay in the car," Kate reminded Jack once they'd dropped Sawyer off at the airport and were on their way home. After following his carrots with a second jar of mixed vegetables, J.J. was napping in his car seat on the bank of seats behind theirs, so it was the first time they'd really been alone, without anything to distract them from this conversation. 

"That was before he started flirting with you," Jack insisted, folding his arms with a stubborn look, a note of accusation creeping into his tone. "And you just stood there, Kate. I watched you." So much for his assurances the night before: it was different when he was the one who felt threatened.

In hindsight, the whole thing seemed so ridiculous that it was all she could do to keep from bursting out laughing. "You were right there!" she pointed out as it occurred to her how insane her own behaviour had been. "What did you think was gonna happen?"

"I don't know," he confessed, running his fingers through his hair with a sheepish grin. "I guess I wasn't thinking much of anything."

"You know, it was actually kind of sexy – seeing you get all possessive and jealous like that," she told him, and he let out a soft chuckle, reaching over to pull her onto his lap.

"But bringing J.J.?" she couldn't resist teasing him, trying and failing to suppress her own grin as she regained her balance, looping her arms around his neck for support. "Come on, Jack – wasn't that a bit low?"

"He got he message, didn't he?" he murmured, slipping his own arms around her. "He had you, and he lost you – I'm not gonna make the same mistake."

"You're never gonna lose us, Jack," she assured him, kissing him softly and wriggling in so that she was lying against him, her head nestled under his chin. "We're not going anywhere this time."

"I guess I need to start trusting that," he told her as he adjusted his grip so that they were both more comfortable, tracing lazy patterns on her back with the tips of his fingers once they were both settled again.

"We both do," she agreed.

* * *

Next chapter: Sam gets discharged from hospital and Jack and Kate head to Copenhagen (sans J.J.) on one last mission... ;) 


	38. Chapter 38

Thanks for the reviews. Some of you seem to be under the impression that I've abandoned this fic (with only three chapters to go!), but the truth is, I was exceptionally busy over the weekend and the lack feedback hasn't exactly inspired me. It was a difficult chapter to write, and I didn't want to rush it, but I got there in the end! ;)

* * *

Chapter 38. The Belly Of The Beast 

In the days that followed their return to L.A., as they waited for Sawyer to call with the news that they were both anticipating and dreading, Kate got her first real taste of what a normal life with Jack could be like. Despite his fear of provoking another attack, he could never seem to tear himself away from her and J.J., so without either of them making a conscious decision, his presence pervaded the house as they continued to eat, sleep and take care of their son together.

She loved waking up in the morning with his scent on her sheets, still warm from his body heat, and going into the bathroom to find his clothes in the hamper, his razor on the sink; all the little traces of him that assured her that he wasn't going anywhere if he could help it. It made her long for the moment that it all became official and they could stop "playing" house and start living together.

As grateful as she was, she was also disappointed when, on the third day, her father was discharged, and Jack stopped spending all of his time at the house.

"You and J.J. aren't going with him?" her father asked, cocking an eyebrow at her when, after dinner, Jack kissed her and J.J. goodbye and headed back to his apartment for the night. "I thought you'd be halfway out the door by now." His tone wasn't angry or accusing, but full of gentle concern.

"You just got out of hospital," she reminded him, but deep down she knew that this wasn't it. Every time she moved to pack up their belongings, something stopped her; she was afraid that if she let herself to get too excited now that the dream was within reach, she'd jinx it, and it wouldn't come true.

They still had one final stage of their plan to complete before the safety of their family and those of the other survivors were assured; with each moment that brought it closer, Kate found herself growing more apprehensive, so that she was actually relieved when Sawyer called to announce that the last of the flash drives was in Sayid's hands.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jack asked her as they lay awake together hours before they were due to fly to Copenhagen, both of them knowing that the next day could be the one that changed everything.

They were alone in the house; Kate had dropped her father and J.J. off with Daniel and his wife after dinner, where she'd ordered them to stay until she gave the all clear.

"We agreed to do this together," she reminded him, lacing her fingers through his, "So that's how we're going to finish it – together." At least that was what she hoped.

"I'm sure I've said this before, but I don't know what I'd do without you," he told her, his dark eyes shining with gratitude as he lifted their joined hands from his chest, pressing the heel of her palm to his lips.

"I don't know what I'd do either without you either, so let's hope we never have to find out," she murmured, settling it against his smooth cheek when he titled his head to kiss her, shifting as close to him as she could so that he could wrap his free arm around her. If she never got to spend another night with him, she wanted to remember how it felt.

Part of her wanted to call the confrontation off, terrified that the next threat would be one that they couldn't ignore, but she was tired of lying, of pretending that she didn't love Jack, when anyone could see that she did.

It was still dark outside when the cab arrived to take them to the airport, but Kate couldn't have stayed in bed any longer if she tried. She just needed the whole ordeal to be over, and she could tell that Jack did too.

"So how're we gonna do this?" she asked him as they left California behind, too wired, despite the earliness of the hour, to do anything but watch the miles of endless ocean drift by beneath the wings.

"No more running, no more hiding – we walk right in through the front doors," he told her, his eyes fierce and determined, looking more alive than she'd seen him in years.

"We have nothing to be ashamed of, Kate," he insisted when she gave him wary look, not sure that announcing their presence was their best course of action when they would be outnumbered hundreds to one. "They're the ones who'd do anything to keep the truth from getting out."

"At least tell me you've got a gun," she teased him with a tense smile, feeling her brows lift, her eyes widening when he pulled a pistol out of his luggage. "Jack…"

"You didn't think I'd let you go in there without one," he assured her with a grin, holding it out to her, and feeling the familiar weight in her hands, like an old friend, she relaxed.

"You really think it'll come to that?" she asked as she tucked it into her own bag, a stab of guilt piercing her heart when the image of their son the last time they'd seen him resurfaced from somewhere deep inside her mind. While she knew that her father would take care of him, should to worst happen, that didn't make the thought of leaving him alone any less painful.

"No," he agreed seriously, touching her arm as if sensing her fear, "but they're desperate, or they will be – we don't know what crap they're going to pull when they find out what we've been up to, so it can't hurt to be prepared."

Despite his assurances that she had nothing to worry about, Kate felt sick as she stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the tall, glass and steel building that served as world headquarters for the Hanso Foundation. She'd seen the pictures online, but none of them had managed to capture how imposing it was in real life.

"Maybe we should've just written him a letter or something," she joked as she slid the gun into the waistband of her pants, pulling her coat on to cover it, waiting for Jack to finish doing the same.

"And miss the look on his face when he realises we beat him at his own game?" he argued with a vengeful grin. He wrapped his hand around hers, squeezing it as they approached the sliding glass doors that opened onto the lobby. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she agreed, squeezing back, grateful that if she was going into the belly of the beast, it was with him by her side.

"Then let's do this," he said with a tight smile, still holding onto her as he made his way to the front desk. "I'm Jack Shephard, and this is Kate Austen – we're here to see Thomas Mittelwerk."

The receptionist tapped something into her computer and looked up. "Do you have an appointment?" she asked in a pleasant tone. "I don't have anything under those names."

"He's going to want to talk to us," Jack insisted, letting out an irritated laugh as he ran his free hand over his hair, and the receptionist frowned when she realised that he was answering her question.

"I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Mittelwerk is an extremely busy man," she told them with the forced politeness of someone just trying to do their job without making waves. "I can't let you in to see him without his approval."

"So tell him we're here. We'll wait," Jack told her, guiding Kate to the visitor's chairs a few feet away to show her how serious he was.

She picked up the phone, and after a tense conversation, announced that they could go through.

"Either he knew we were coming, and we're gonna need these," Jack whispered, close to Kate's ear, patting the bulge in his shirt as they followed her to the lift, "or he didn't and he's taking the bait."

Either way she determined to stick close to him, every muscle in her body tense as she readied herself for the moment that she would need to draw her own gun.

After all the pain he'd caused them, she wasn't sure what she was expecting; a movie villain surrounded by armed goons; but whatever it was, it caught her off guard when they entered Mittelwerk's office to find him sitting with his hands folded on his desk, looking like any other high powered businessman.

"Dr. Shephard," he said, holding his hand out for Jack to shake, withdrawing it and turning his attention to Kate when he refused it. "And you must be Miss Austen – I was warned the two of you might become a problem."

Kate wanted to ask by who, until she realised that she didn't care; all that mattered now was getting their message out.

"You have no idea," Jack insisted, getting straight down to business as he continued to stand, taking the flash drive Christine DeVries gave them out of his pocket and dropping it onto the desk.

Mittelwerk looked surprised that they'd come there to do more than just plead their case; Kate even thought she saw a flicker of fear in his eyes as he picked it up, but he covered it quickly. "What's this?"

Taking over from Jack, Kate gestured to his computer. "Why don't you see for yourself?"

Shooting her a wary glance, his eyes travelling from Jack's hard expression back to hers, he inserted it into the base, his frown deepening with each click of the mouse. "Where did you get this?" he asked finally.

"What does it matter where we got it?" Jack said, seemingly disgusted by the fact that he wasn't even going to try to pretend that he didn't know what it was. "All you need to know is that we have it, and that it's not the only copy."

"How many?" Mittelwerk pressed, as if he were still trying to come up with a way to salvage this. It was clear that he wasn't used to someone else having all the control.

"One for each of the people whose lives you ruined with that ridiculous rule," Kate retorted, folding her arms, "so you do the math."

He must have realised that the situation was worse than he'd anticipated, because with a sigh, he took his reading glasses off and sat back, massaging his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "What do you want?" he asked. "If you went to all that trouble to blackmail me, you must have a list of demands."

"What we want is to be left alone," Jack told him, his voice low and dangerous, leaning forward and bracing his palms against the desk for emphasis, "all of us. You don't come after us, or our families, ever again, or we leak that to the media, along with some of our own more colourful experiences."

"That's it?" Mittelwerk repeated, looking to Kate for confirmation. "You don't want compensation?"

"We got enough of that from the airline," she agreed coolly, but Jack wasn't done.

"For now, but we'll be watching you, so you might wanna think about that before you unleash that virus," he said, reaching for her hand again as he started for the door.

"How do I know that you won't leak it anyway?" Mittelwerk 's voice called after them before they could leave his office, and for a moment, Kate was afraid that he was going to try to double cross them, until Jack answered, "You don't, so I guess you'll just have to trust us like we trusted you."

* * *

Next chapter: Jack and Kate celebrate their newfound freedom, Kate and J.J. move in, and some welcome news... ;) 


	39. Chapter 39

Thanks for the reviews. Since I'm posting this at 3am, I don't have much to say, just please remember that there is only one more chapter after this one, so your feedback would be greatly appreciated! ;)

* * *

Chapter 39. Peace At Last 

They were both silent as they left the building and returned to their rental, neither one of them ready to believe that this was more than just another step in the road. After all the waiting and scheming and hoping it was almost an anticlimax; instead of the relief she'd expected, all Kate could feel was shock.

It wasn't until they were both seated that she found her voice again, tearing her eyes from the windshield in search of Jack's. "It's really over?" she said, surprised by the fear that lingered in her tone, as if she was still convinced that at any moment, someone would come along and tell her that it was all a mistake. "Just like that?" 

The crease in his forehead disappeared, and all of the tension of the past three years seemed to evaporate as he slumped back in his seat, his smile radiating pure amazement and joy. "Just like that," he agreed, closing his eyes, as if to allow the burden of responsibility to slip from his shoulders.

He looked so peaceful, so happy; she hated to taint that with her doubts, but it all seemed too good to be true, and in her experience, that usually meant that it was. "How do we know we can trust him this time?" she asked him, watching his expression become wary as he sat up. "That he's not just gonna wait a few days and come after us anyway? We don't exactly have the best track record in that department."

"He has no choice, Kate," he insisted, the muscles in his jaw clenching, and she wondered who he was trying so hard to convince: her or himself. "He only invented that rule so we wouldn't talk, and now he thinks that's exactly what we're planning to do if he tries to enforce it."

"You're right," she agreed, forcing a smile, deciding that if he of all people could have faith, so could she. "I'm just being paranoid. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

"In the meantime, we're in Europe, and we still have that jet…" he reminded her, a hint of suggestion creeping into his tone as he trailed off with a lop-sided grin, and seeing how relaxed he was, Kate felt her own tension ebb away. J.J. was safe, and they had nowhere else they needed be: what better way to celebrate their newfound freedom than with a few uninterrupted days alone?

"And I still haven't seen Paris," she agreed as he started the engine, and this time, she didn't have to remind herself to look happy.

* * *

It was exactly two weeks after their meeting with Mittelwerk that Kate said goodbye to her father and loaded J.J. and what remained of their belongings into her car and drove across town to Jack's. 

Life had returned to what she would have considered normal, only normal was still new and exciting to them. After cashing in the last of his personal leave for a vacation to Paris, Jack had gone back to the hospital part-time, but he still made it over to Sam's house after each shift to have dinner with them and help her pack.

Kate hadn't been to his apartment since that first, fateful night, so when she let herself in with the key he'd given her, she was surprised to see that most of the clutter now came from the boxes he was still waiting for her to find a place for.

Jack wasn't in the living room or the kitchen when she entered, but he'd assured her that he would be there to meet her, because she needed his truck to move J.J.'s crib.

"Jack?" she called, forcing back a niggle of doubt as she worried that he was still unstable and unreliable like her father had warned her, but before she could second guess her decision, he emerged from the spare bedroom swiping his brow with the back of his hand, his breathing laboured when he leant in to kiss her.

"Hey," he gasped when they pulled back, taking J.J. from her and settling him against his chest. "Hey, buddy – you ready to see your new home?"

"What were you doing in there?" she asked him, intrigued, as she watched him press a swift kiss to the tip of their son's nose, making him chuckle and grab at old t-shirt he was wearing.

"Come and I'll show you," he told her, looking smug as he took her hand with his free one.

Once they were inside, she realised why he was so pleased with himself: in contrast to the rest of the apartment, the walls had been painted a sky blue, the empty wooden crib standing in the middle of the room amidst a pile of tools and reference sheets answering her question.

"What do you think?" he asked her with a grin, still catching his breath as he wiped his hands on his jeans.

"You didn't have to buy all this stuff," she told him, touched by how much effort he'd put into creating a space for their son as her eyes travelled from the crib to the matching change table, to the mattress propped against the opposite wall. "He already has everything he needs."

"I know it's a little late, but I wanted to do it," he insisted, shifting J.J. as he bent down to shove everything back into the toolbox. He smiled widened as he stood, as if he knew he had an argument that she couldn't rebut. "Besides, this way he still has somewhere to sleep when he goes to stay with your dad."

* * *

Over the next few hours, Jack helped them get settled, unpacking what they could, and putting the rest into storage. With J.J.'s play mat and a box of his toys in the living room, and the highchair Jack had picked out for him replacing one of the chairs at the kitchen table, Kate thought it looked like a real family home, even if it was only temporary, until they could find a more comfortable space for the three of them. 

"It's kind of bare now, but we can go shopping, get some rugs, wall hangings – whatever you want," Jack said, flopping onto the couch beside her after putting J.J. down in his new room.

She hadn't realised she was staring, but she smiled then, turning her attention back to him. "No, I like it this way," she told him, scooting over so that he could wrap his arms around her. "It's perfect."

"I think I'm gonna have to agree with you there," he murmured with a soft chuckle, sweeping her hair to one side so that he could nuzzle her neck.

Closing her eyes, settling back into him as his lips travelled lower, to her shoulder, she hadn't meant to fall asleep, nor was she aware that she had until she heard him call her name.

"Mmm?" was all she could manage as she forced them open again to see him leaning over her, his dark eyes full of concern. "What?"

"You okay?" he asked her, bringing his palm up to her forehead. "You dozed off."

"Just tired," she assured him, deciding to downplay the exhaustion that had hit her on their return from Paris to keep him from worrying, "The last couple of weeks have been crazy," but he still didn't seem convinced.

"It's seven thirty, Kate. What time did you get up?"

She didn't want to tell him that she hadn't woken up until almost ten, so she had no choice but to acknowledge the fact that he might have a point. "So maybe I'm coming down with something – a bug, or the flu," she suggested, figuring that this would be the end of it, but it wasn't in his make up to let it go.

"You don't have a fever," he said, dropping his hand when she didn't seem any warmer than usual. "Any other symptoms I should know about? Headaches? Dizziness? Nausea?"

"I did feel a little light-headed earlier, while we were unpacking" she confessed, rushing on when he gave her a sharp look, "but I thought it was just because I'm so tired, which is why I never mentioned it."

"So you're tired and light-headed, without a fever or any other symptoms – yet," he repeated, a thoughtful smile spreading over his face.

He seemed to have an idea about what could be causing it. "What?" she asked him, sitting up straighter when he just grinned and shook his head, kissing her as he extricated himself from her. "What? Why are you smiling like that? Jack?"

She tried to look stern, serious as she shifted onto her knees, turning so that she was still facing him, but she only succeeded in making him laugh. "I'll be back soon," he told her, leaning over the back of the couch and kissing her a few more times before collecting his keys and rushing out of the apartment.

She was still mystified when he returned with a paper bag marked with logo of the drugstore she'd passed on the way over.

"It may be a little premature, but I think you should take this," he told her as he pressed it into her hands with a wry smile. "Call it a hunch – or an educated guess."

"Why, what is it? Antibiotics?" she asked, frowning at him as she took it, stunned when she peeked inside and caught sight of the label on the box. "You think I'm pregnant?"

"You tell me," he said, perching on the edge of the couch beside her, his hand falling on her knee as he studied her expression.

"It's possible, I guess," she agreed, still trying to digest the idea. It was strange that Jack had to suggest it to her when she was the one who'd been through it before. She was exhausted then too; she should have recognised the feeling.

In a moment of decision, she stood, flashing him an anxious grin. "There's really only one way to find out."

He was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom, his hopeful look erasing any doubts she about what she wanted the result to be. More than anything, she wanted to do this with him like she should have the first time.

"It's not finished yet," she told him, setting the test on the table in front of them as she joined him. "It's gonna take at least another minute."

She wriggled in closer to him, letting her head drop onto his shoulder, almost lulled back to sleep by the gentle motion of Jack's fingers raking hair, and they sat in companionable silence until he said, his voice low and awed, "That looks like a positive. It is – you're pregnant, Kate."

Forcing herself to sit up so that she could get a better view of the two intersecting lines, she saw that he was right. "I'm pregnant," she repeated in the same hushed tone, grinning against his mouth when, without warning, he cupped the side of her neck and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

He let out a soft chuckle that was half joy, half disbelief, when they broke for air, and she found herself joining in as a new thought occurred to her.

"What?" he insisted when she continued to laugh long after he'd stopped, looking at her as if he thought she'd lost her mind.

"My dad's gonna kill you," she told him, brushing the tears from her eyes with her knuckle as his expression turned wary. "He's gonna kill me too."

* * *

Next chapter: Since it wouldn't feel right to end it without a reunion of sorts, in the epilogue, the survivors gather for a special event... ;) 


	40. Chapter 40

Thanks for the reviews. ;)

* * *

Chapter 40. Moving Forward

"You look beautiful, Kate," a voice behind her said, and Kate tore her eyes from her reflection, signalling for Claire to let go of her dress so that she could turn around.

Juliet was standing at the entrance of the tent they were using as a dressing room, clutching her purse in both hands as she waited to see how she would be received. "Jack told me you were in here," she explained, her smile tentative as she added, taking a step towards them, "I just wanted to say congratulations – I don't think I need to tell you how lucky you are."

Studying her expression, Kate searched her words for hidden contempt, but as far as she could tell, she was being sincere. "No, you don't," she agreed, her voice soft and affectionate, acknowledging Juliet's effort to put the past behind them by regarding her with a genuine smile. "Thank you."

"So I guess I'll see you both out there," Juliet said to break the comfortable silence that followed, fixing Claire with a polite smile as she ducked back out of the tent.

Though she'd agreed to invite her along with everyone else from the island, no one was more surprised than Kate when Juliet replied to say that she was coming; she had assumed that she would be like Sawyer, who'd returned his R.S.V.P form with a brief, scribbled note explaining that he had a commitment that day. She suspected that he was trying to save face; that he just couldn't bring himself to attend; so she hadn't called him on it, and neither had Jack.

When Juliet was gone, Kate returned her attention to the mirror, scrutinising her appearance one last time as Claire moved in to check the claps of her dress.

"You know, as much as I don't hate her, I'm glad it's you marrying my brother today," she confessed, her blue eyes warm as they found Kate's in the glass, sliding the comb that held her veil into her hair before stepping back to admire the effect. "Perfect. You're all set."

Turning to face her, Kate drew her into a brief, excited hug. In the year that they'd been free from the Hanso Foundation's control, Claire had become as much of a sister to her as she was to Jack; after buying a house with more space for their growing family, Jack had signed his apartment over to her so that they would be able to spend more time with her and Aaron.

"Almost," Kate agreed, moving over to the table that held the clothes they'd arrived in, as well as tubes of make up, hairpins and other bits and pieces they'd used to get ready.

There was a car seat at one end, apart from the rest of the clutter; Kate lifted her and Jack's four-month-old daughter out of it, kissing the tip of her nose when she stirred. "Hi, Sammie – you ready to go with Aunty Claire?" she cooed, shifting her into Claire's waiting arms.

"I think she might be the cutest flower girl I've ever seen," Claire said, admiring her niece, who was decked out in a pale blue dress that was identical to hers in almost every way except that she swam in hers.

"If not, then we at least have the cutest best man," Kate reminded her with grin, imagining the tiny tux she and Jack had had fitted for J.J.

At twenty months old, he was tottering around on his own, talking in what almost passed for full sentences; when the time came for her to follow Claire and Samantha, Kate's heart swelled with pride at the sight of him standing at the altar with Jack, his little hand encased in his to keep him from wandering off. He was still young to know what was happening, but after the role he'd played in bringing Jack back to her, she was glad that he was a part of it.

Still holding onto J.J., Jack turned as the music changed and everyone stood for her entrance, his breath hitching when she caught his eye and smiled.

He finally looked happy, like he was right where he wanted to be; as they continued to hold each other's gaze, his face split into the broadest grin she'd ever seen him give, second only to the moment their daughter was born.

After ridding himself of the demons of the past, he had stopped wanting to go back. Instead, he seemed content to keep moving forward: moving on, with her.

"You know, part of me hoped this day would never come," her father said, and as he stepped forward to meet her at the top of the aisle, Kate saw that his light eyes were shining. "At least when you were just living with Jack, I could still pretend you were my little girl."

"I'm still your little girl, Daddy," she assured him, her own eyes filling with tears as she reached up to peck his cheek. "I just grew up."

"I see that," he agreed, taking her in with approval, beaming as he offered his elbow for her to take. "Ready?"

Looking around the beach, at Jack, their children, Claire, and all of their family and friends, Kate grinned, slipping arm through his. "Like you wouldn't believe."

* * *

So that's it. I could have written a long, rambling epilogue featuring an endless string of cameos, but since that might be overkill, let's just assume they're all there, except Sawyer, of course. Since it's the end, I hope I can trust you to review -- it's always helpful to hear what people thought of a fic as a whole. Thanks again to those of you who have -- it means a lot. :)

For anyone who's wondering, aside from "Good News", my next project is an as yet untitled one shot I've been turning over in my head since Eggtown. I would have written it before now, but I was sure someone was going to beat me too it! But since no one has, that should be coming along in the next few days. I also have another longer idea, but I haven't got as much time to write at the moment, so we'll see how that goes... ;)


End file.
